Woodmansterne Green alone

My lone Kona on Woodmansterne Green. How can I convey the boredom? In short, I can't. This pic taken on my iphone shortly before I cycled home.

Not much to report on today other than it was warm and sunny. I left later than usual, around 8am, and decided to pootle on up to Woodmansterne Green. Very, very boring. I didn't even take any tea. Anyway, that's it. Hopefully, more to report tomorrow.

Some proper off-roading at last!

Whenever I see people with 'Chelsea tractors' I always find myself getting a little irritated by the fact that they only drive from home to the school or the shops or wherever, on tarmac roads, when their four-wheel-drive motor car is designed for tougher terrain.  I feel the same way about my bike and I often wonder if the occasional bystander, seeing me on the road, wonders why I didn't get myself a dropped handlebar racing bike and some Lycra. 

The start and finish of the off-road circuit.




Well, in the same way that 'The Dark Lord', Voldemort, is not to be mentioned by anybody within the hallowed grounds of Hogwart's School, so the word 'Lycra' is forbidden territory for the likes of Andy, Jon and myself, but, if the truth be known, most of the cycling we've been doing over the past four years could have been done on a racing bike. We've all got decent Kona mountain bikes but we rarely go 'off road' with them. 

Until yesterday. Bank Holiday Monday, April 5 2010. A day to be remembered. Why? Because while out cycling on Sunday, following our aborted attempts on Saturday, we found a complete off-road circuit, around five miles in length, circular and, it has to be said, absolutely fucking brilliant! Needless to say there's a Gangers Hill connection, Gangers being our favourite road at the moment because it has taken away the drudgery that is Woodmansterne, Westerham, the Tatsfield Bus Stop and other uninspiring routes, which, amazingly, have kept our interest over the past four years.

Gangers Hill has given us a reason to live again: new territory, a new church gate under which to sip our tea and munch on our cereal bars and now it's given us something else: a decent woodland trek, full of mud – naturally – but a five-mile round circuit where the roads our in a minority and the open countryside rules the roost.


Marden Woods, part of the Woodland Trust, doesn't have any 'no cycling' signs, but, in the quiet car park a quarter mile down Gangers Hill on the right, mountain bikers gather. Actually, not that many, which makes it all the better, but from the car park there begins a fantastic circuit that goes downhill towards Woldingham Station (where we had to dismount and manhandle our bikes over a wooden gate (twice)) and then back over the railway bridge, uphill for a bit, before encroaching on the grounds of Woldingham Girls School. We cycled past a lonely tennis court then took a road left and found ourselves on the same road we cycled along on Sunday before we bore left and on to the muddy, uphill track we had to walk up on Saturday. However, once at the top, instead of hitting the road, we dived off-road again until we found a really serious hill – one to rival the greats of our cycling – which eventually brought us back to the road again, but only briefly.


Across the road was another gate and another woodland path. Lots of mud and it wasn't long before we were lost. The iphone's GPS wasn't working and we had to put all of our skills, acquired while living with the bushmen of the Kalahari, into action. These skills could be summed up by "Look, there's a bloke with a dog, he must have come from the car park, let's hang a right". So we did and soon (not too soon, we still thought we were lost) we found the car park. When we looked at the map we realised how we had probably been a little more adventurous (purely by accident) than intended. We hadn't followed the route for the last half a mile or so and instead had hacked our way through thick woods, narrowly avoiding a quarry, only to arrive eventually at the finish (which was also the start).


Elated by an excellent morning of cycling, we sipped tea and munched on cereal bars – and then Andy found a KitKat in his rucksack, an Easter leftover, and we tucked into that too before cycling home and parting company at the top of Sline's Oak Road.

Needless to say, the bikes now looked like mountain bikes and were caked in mud (see pic to right of my bike). All the way home our tyres flicked mud at us as if to say thanks for setting them free from the roads. Later that day, after a spot of gardening and cooking, I hosed mine down in preparation for a visit to the cycle shop and a much-needed servicing.

To the church in Godstone, via Gangers Hill and a bit of mud

After yesterday's depressing non-starter of a day, we were up and ready at Warlingham Green this morning and looking forward to a trip to the church, St Nicholas's of Godstone (pictured below). Like yesterday, there was rain, plenty of it, and by the time we crossed the A22 and then the A25 we were wet, but it was well worth it. The covered gateway to the church was a million times better than the Tatsfield Bus Stop and the view far more picturesque.

It was, of course, Easter Sunday and there were a few people up early and wearing their Sunday Best passing through the churchyard. Whether they'd attended a service or not was unclear, but they were all togged out and smart-looking so we assumed they were doing something church-like. Across the road was Church House and an alleyway running down its right hand side which, had we followed it, would have taken us past Bay Pond, a seemingly large pond, en route to Godstone Village proper.

This morning we tackled the big 'why are we here?' sort of questions and that whole issue of what contains space and what contains the container that contains space? I said that eventually, pondering such high brow stuff must drive you crazy. so we moved on to religion and the whole thing about it being a form of social control. We got on to the subject of being a member of the clergy and how, instead of a company car, you get a company house (the vicarage).
Not bad, especially if you're Church of England as that means you're not banned from shagging, thanks to good old Henry VIII, who had six wives.


What was rather odd was a war memorial (pictured left) in the churchyard. It said the Great War was 1914 to 1919 and not 1918 so whether, all those years ago, somebody made an irreparable mistake on on the monument or all the history books have got it wrong, I don't know and nor does anybody else. One friendly couple stopped to pass some time with us. The man asked what had happened to mudguards as he noticed how wet and muddy we were. I pointed out that Andy's bike did have mudguards and that mine was how I'd bought it – without mudguards. What's a bit of rain and mud among friends, I thought? My bike would look naff with mudguards, it's a dirt jumper.

Everybody that passed us said hello or good morning or made some comment on the weather, this was a friendly sort of place, but after two cups of tea and a cereal bar, we had to be on our way, back up the hill. The rain had stopped but it was a bit wet. Jon had called as we were sipping our tea: he was at home, sipping tea in the warmth while we were out in the open air, wet and muddy and preparing to tackle the hill.


Andy had been dying to try out some of the off-road paths but I had been reluctant because of the rain. I knew that it would be thick mud and we'd end up walking and sure enough, that's just what happened. We took a track off of Flower Lane, just inside the M25 and within yards we were pushing our bikes up a fairly steep and muddy incline, emerging on Gangers Hill at Hanging Wood Farm. Andy found some more off-road tracks, but I stayed on the tarmac and we met up at Marden Wood where there was a map that sketched out what looked like a complete off-road wooded circuit. We resolved to have a go tomorrow (Bank Holiday Monday) and then cycled home along the Northdown Road, through Woldingham and parting company at the top of Slines Oak Road.


Things to bear in mind for future trips down Gangers Hill


1. Bay Pond. On the map it looks huge, it's down the alley from Church House opposite St Nicholas' Church in Godstone and would bring us out in down town Godstone.
2. Another route. There is another track on the other side of the churchyard which, if followed, leads us down to three large lakes and a wood. The path continues under the A22 and then through open country towards Tandridge where we could pick up Jackass Lane, cycle east for a short while on the A25 and then hang a left up Tandridge Hill Lane, over the M25 and then rejoin Gangers Hill.
3. To Hurst Green and on towards Westerham. There is a route, similar to 2. but instead of turning left up Tandridge Lane and left into Jackass Lane,  we continue off-road and end up in Hurst Green. In fact, there is a way of travelling through woodland and along off-road tracks all the way to Westerham where there are clearly defined – and probably quite decent tracks – through extensive woodland, bringing us out in Central Westerham where we could go back our conventional way. Quite a hike, but I reckon it'd be worthwhile.

A depressing start to the cycling weekend...

Well, I can understand Andy not being too happy this morning. In fact, as I write this, he is riding home to Caterham from Warlingham Green in the rain, having stood in the rain for about 25 minutes longer than normal waiting for yours truly to arrive.

The annoying thing is that I was up early, I'd pumped up the slow puncture and set off way within time to be at the Green around 0720, but, as I climbed up Church Way, the front tyre began to wobble and I realised that what was a slow puncture had suddenly become a fast one: the tyre was flat.

To make matters worst, my mobile was displaying a 'no service' sign, which meant that I couldn't call Andy to explain the delay. There were no phone boxes so I had to return home to use the landline and then fix the puncture.

While fixing the puncture, down came the rain and I know for a fact that there's no cover at the Green, so when I called, having fixed the puncture, let's just say that Andy was a little abrupt. I think I heard something about standing around in the fucking rain followed by a quick 'see ya' and the phone went dead.

To be honest, though, it would have been pointless going out. By the time I'd reached the Green, soaking wet, Andy would have been wetter and we'd probably have decided not to bother going any further. Right now, we'd both be on our way back home in the rain.

Still, there's always tomorrow, mind you, now that I've finished writing (at 0810) it seems to be brightening up. Hold on, though, nope, it's still raining. Mind you, it's the Easter weekend, which means shit weather all round. I wonder if we'll get out at all. Having said that, if it does clear, I'm going out.

Meeting Jon on Woodmansterne Green

View across the green to the parish church.

Thank God for the iPhone. Why? Because, when it comes to clocks going backwards or forwards, as they did today – they went forward – the iPhone did it automatically, I discovered as I went to check the time. In other words, had I set my alarm for 0600hrs (which I didn't) then I would have been woken up at the real 0600hrs, the 0600hrs of BST (British Summer Time). This, of course, is all academic as I woke up at '7am' (according to my less sophisticated clock radio), Andy wasn't going cycling today and, while I thought it was going to be crap weather, I drew back the curtain and discovered a clear and fresh looking day.

There are things to do on Sunday so, rather than a long one, I resolved to call Jon and see if he fancied meeting up on Woodmansterne Green. I'd forgotten all about my gear problem, but remembered it as I pumped up my slow puncture. The last time I'd been on the bike, the problem had resolved itself and I figured the reason the gears started working again yesterday had something to do with giving the bike a good shake.

I had to physically pick the bike up and put it on the train at Merstham railway station yesterday. I had to pick it up again to haul it over the railway bridge at Sanderstead and I bounced it down the stairs on the other side of the platform. Such shaking must have shifted something as the bike was working fine from Sanderstead station to home, so out I went this morning, confident that the problem was solved and that, if it occured again I'd just ride the bike over some rough ground and shake it to its senses.

After yesterday's mammoth ride (mammoth in the sense that it was new and unexplored territory, not mammoth in distance terms) Woodmansterne was fine for me and Jon said he was quite happy to ride to the green. So we met around 0930 hrs, later than usual, had a bottle of Vittel mineral water and a Kellogg's breakfast bar each and then cycled back to our respective homes.

Down Ganger's Hill and into the unknown...

Today was arguably one of the best cycling days for a long time. Why? Because we explored new ground and found it to be just what the doctor ordered. Years of riding the same old routes – Woodmansterne (yawn!); the Tatsfield Bus Stop (yawn!); Merstham via Woodmansterne (yawn!); Westerham (yawn!) – they're all 'okay' but we've just been stomping over the same old ground, week after week after week. And quite frankly, it was beginning to get very, very samey. Well, not today!

Alright, the first leg of the journey was the same: the route we'd take to reach Tatsfield or Westerham; but once we'd passed the 'off road bit' on the way to Botley, we turned right, not left, and made our way down to Ganger's Hill. We didn't know what to expect, but what we found was heart-warming. Not only a new route, but a picturesque one too.

As for complaints that Ganger's Hill needed a good tidy-up, there was no evidence. What we found were woods and off-road tracks (to be explored at a later date) and, lo and behold, other mountain bikers, people we tended not to see on our normal routes where the Lycra-wearing, PC using riders of bikes with dropped handlebars seemed to rule the roost. But not today! Polite, Apple computer-using mountain bikers passed us by as we travelled down and up and around Gangers Hill, which eventually became Flower Lane, through Flowers Wood and down to the A25, which I think we went over when we reached the end of Church Lane.

Then, the hard bit. Up until this point, it had been easy enough, but now we had the Enterdent Road to contend with and it was far from easy: a big uphill climb, through some amazing woods. We crossed Tilburstow Hill Road and found ourselves in Rabies Heath Road and at this point we started to wonder whether it was possible to reach Hunger's End in Merstham by 9am, our stated goal.

We pushed on, through more woodland on either side of the road and soon we found ourselves in Bletchingly. It wasn't long before we encountered the A25 again for a short burst of traffic-heavy A road and then a devil of a job trying to cross into Church Lane before continuing north through Bletchingly Golf Course and then on a track that skirted its way around a menacing looking quarry (loads of 'Police Keep Out' signs, the mention of guard dogs and plenty of barbed wire fencing). But it was good to be off-road and the track led us under the M25 and out on to Hextall's Lane before we started seeing road signs to Chaldon and Merstham.

We hung a left into Spring Bottom Lane and then crossed the Warwick Wold Road and into the final straight of Rockshaw Road. Unfortunately for me, my gears had decided to play up and remain in a very very low gear. Progress was slow and it was now 0925 and no sign of Merstham, although we knew that Rockshaw Road led us on to the A23 just short of the village. It was slow going but we made it at around 0930hrs and I ordered my scrambled egg on toast and Andy's four-sausage bap (with lashings of brown sauce). We both had a mug of tea and reflected on our journey.

Yes we were half an hour over schedule, but that was easily solved. For a start, I'd have to arrive at Warlingham Green at 0730hrs on the dot and not 0740hrs and we'd just have to push on or even leave the Green at 0715hrs to be at Hunger's End when it opens at 0900hrs.

My gear problem really was a pain in the proverbial. So much so that I decided to catch the train home from Merstham. I jumped on the 1011 London Bridge train, changed at East Croydon and took a Caterham train, alighting at Purley Oaks and cycling the rest of the way. And guess what? When I got on the bike the gears were working again! I've got a slow puncture too, but having pumped it before leaving the house, it was still as solid as a rock when I reached home.

Happy Days, as they say. Happy Days.

Some pix of Ganger's Hill

These pix of Ganger's Hill courtesy of http://bluemeanie.org

Ganger's Hill, in case you've not read previous posts, is part of a new route we've discovered.

Sunday 21 March 2010 - the Tatsfield Bus stop

The rather uninspiring view from the Tatsfield bus stop. This is exactly what we see as we sip our tea and munch on our cereal bars. Nice, innit?

Going the slow way to the Tatsfield bus stop is no mean feat, as I always tend to say when we reach the off-road stretch in Woldingham, near the golf course there. It's quite a haul, actually, and that's why it's great to reach the bus stop and break open the flask of tea.

Andy and I sat there discussing a new route for next week (which I've detailed on http://novisiblelycra.ning.com)

I love it when we discover a new route and this one is a real humdinger as we manage to end up in Hunger's End at Merstham in Surrey, probably just in time for when it opens at 0900hrs.

How to describe the route? Well, actually, I'll say no more, just go to the link above and you can read all about it. It is, however, slightly ridiculous how excited I get over things like this, but I just can't wait until next weekend.

Saturday 20 March 2010 – Woodmansterne Green

Dad with the Moggridge piano from Oklahoma City, USA (top) and with the LA piano (centre). Bottom shot is what we can see from our shelter under the gatehouse.

I awoke early, around 10 minutes to six. If the truth be known it was 0536hrs, but I lay there wondering what to do: get out of bed or loll around until 0600hrs, but then I remembered the alarm on my iphone that was due to go off at six on the dot and once I'd got out of bed to turn it off, why bother going back?

Outside it was murky. The clouds grey, the ground wet and signs everywhere that it had only just stopped raining. We were due to go to Merstham but there were things going on. My brother Jon and cousin Philip had both managed to ship over Moggridge pianos from the USA (one from LA and one from Oklahoma City) so Jon had arranged it for mum and dad to see them and it was a surprise.

In a nutshell, dad's been compiling a history of the Moggridge family and in the process has discovered (actually, he knew already) that there were pianomakers in the family. Dad's grandfather and his brother both made Moggridge pianos and managed to get a contract from the King of Persia. Apparently, some kind of dispute arose between the Moggridge family business and the Persians, which the Moggridge family won, and dad remembers talk about 'the Persian money', which was sent over on a regular basis once the dispute was resolved. I'd imagine there are plenty of Moggridge pianos out in Tehran. Perhaps President 'I'm a Dinner Jacket' has one, who knows?

Anyway, to cut a long story short, Jon and Philip traced the pianos down and shipped them over here and they arrived last week. These are old pianos, made in 1891, so they're not in the best of nick, but I know that Jon is going to restore his one. Philip's is not in bad nick compared to Jon's but I think he'll probably have it restored too.

Andy had things going on too so the suggestion of riding to Woodmansterne instead of the 30-mile round trip to Hunger's End, fitted everybody's agenda.

The weather wasn't too bad: a bit of rain here and there and yes, we did get wet, but not drastically so like in the past; but either way we sought refuge underneath the gatehouse of the church on the Green (a regular haunt if it's raining).

We drank tea, ate cereal bars and generally chewed the fat and then cycled home. It was great seeing those pianos, by the way, and Dad was chuffed about it.

Simon Cotter's blog

Simon has traded in his Subaru and bought this Mitsubishi Evo. Nice car, Simon.

I've added a link on the right hand side of this page to Simon Cotter's blog. If ever you want to see it, click the link or, if you're reading this post, click here!