As I write this, Donald Trump, President of the United States of America, is winging his way across the Atlantic towards Washington DC and, of course, the White House. He must be whacked out, no time for a breather. He flew in Tuesday and then on Wednesday up with the lark and putting on a face for the public and the monarchy as he had to sit through a lot of tiresome pomp and circumstance in what can only be described as kind of blustery, cloudy conditions. Personally, I would have been wishing the whole thing further and longing for my huge bed upstairs in Windsor Castle. Oh! I would have been looking forward to the moment when speeches were over and the dessert and coffees were out of the way, just a few goodnights and then that great moment when he switches off the light and buries his blond head in the fluffy pillows. Hopefully, he didn't think too much about what the following day had in store: talks about business and politics and then a press conference. Who the hell in their right mind would be looking forward to that. Perhaps that's why he said in his speech that he's hoping his second state visit will be his last. I certainly wouldn't want to repeat the process unless I could have the option, perhaps, of a few days loafing around, getting up late and just hanging for a day or two until the jet lag lifted. But the trouble with being famous is that you simply can't do that; no sitting in a local Starbuck's in Windsor for Donald, sipping a cappuccino and munching a pastry, reading a book or a newspaper. For a start, he'd be recognised before he got through the door and what's the point in trying to lead a normal life if they open the store just for you, like Elvis? No point at all. I suppose they could have erected a Starbuck's somewhere in Windsor Castle and populated with friendly journalists and aides happy not to give the Donald a hard time. The last thing he wants is to discuss Epstein or Mandleson or free speech or Gaza or Ukraine. I bet he hates all that. I'm sure he'd much prefer to just sit there, froth on his upper lip, staring out of the window and considering going back to bed for an our or two before the banquet. I know I would. And then there's the banquet itself. Perhaps after the Starbuck's he might not be that hungry, but what about all that food, it can't go to waste. And hell, what about the speech? He was last on and the most anticipated, people watching his every move hoping he'll slip up, mis-pronounce something, say the wrong thing, stutter, there's so much that go wrong and he wouldn't be able to blame the jet lag because that's not what world leaders do, they are supposed to be super human, no room to mess up, no room to say 'fuck!' after getting something wrong, nothing he does or say will be forgotten for as long as he lives. Satirical news quizzes will 'have the clip' and will be eager to humiliate him and who needs that sort of pressure?
If I go to the USA for a conference that starts on Monday, I'm flying two days earlier and very often it makes no difference; I spend the entire week nodding off here and there and just when I think I have it under control I have to fly back home. What a nightmare. Seriously, it is, so if I had to be in the spotlight on top of everything else, no way, not unless I'd time to relax first. No fun. And that's what I'd want, even if I was the leader of the free world, I'd want to some fun, some down time, a mix of work and pleasure but not all work. But that's what Trump has done: all work and no play and we all know what that leads to, it makes Jack a dull boy.
I'm hoping that right now, just a couple of hours into his flight, that Trump is asleep, perhaps with some soothing classical music in the background. I wonder if he has his own room where he can lie there listening to Night Tracks on Radio 3 (or at least a recording) and then waking up refreshed as the plane lands at DC. But no, he's probably sitting there signing executive orders or talking to his advisors. No peace for the wicked as they say. And I wonder if he's planning a day off tomorrow? Probably not. It's not a life I'd like to lead and if I was already a billionaire (as Trump is) I'd rather be relaxing, playing golf and being in the Miami sunshine doing anything but work.
