In Tokyo... Day Four and Five – A few ramblings

Do you ever get those days when you stop and think about the most mundane aspects of life and find them incredible? Big questions about the meaning of life take second place to thoughts about bananas. I found myself sitting in a Starbucks for breakfast – one banana and a mint tea – thinking about the fact that I was on the other side of the world (compared to where I normally reside) wide awake while most of those living in the UK were fast asleep and what's more, I was eating a banana. I eat bananas in the UK too, but here I am eating one in Tokyo. Now I know it's really no mystery how bananas get around (by ship mostly, I'd imagine) but I suppose it's amazing that wherever you travel, however far away from home you are, you can still get a reasonably good banana – and find a decent Starbucks too. Perhaps it's not good, it's bad. The fact that here in Tokyo you will find all the big brand names (Apple, Zara, Gucci, they're all here, even Stella McCartney, and let's not forget McDonald's and Subway) is testament to the success of something we're all now starting to reject: globalisation. In all honesty, if globalisation means flying for hours on end and still running up against a Claires Accessories, then I don't want it either. Although, that said, when it comes to eating out in Tokyo, there are plenty of local, Japanese restaurants. Today, however, I did find a Hard Rock Café and a Tony Roma's. I ate in the former and I can't say I've ever enjoyed ribs, they're insubstantial and they make your hands sticky.

The streets of Tokyo on Thursday afernoon...

Back home, a lot of our bananas come from the Windward Islands in the Caribbean, which normally means St. Lucia, but where the Japanese bananas originate I don't know and, quite frankly, I don't care. I'd say the fact that bananas exist in Japan is amazing if it were true, but it isn't amazing at all; they were probably brought over on a container ship.

I'm sitting in Starbucks for a reason: I wanted a mint tea and something decent for breakfast instead of that slice of toast and a milky tea from Precious Coffee Moments. Although, in retrospect, that toast would have been most welcomed, but Starbucks don't serve toast. I miss Precious Coffee Moments, but hell, it's my day off, I'm not here for a rushed breakfast before heading into a conference hall, I'm getting ready to go check out a meeting venue for tomorrow, just so that I can be there on time. But more of that later. In a nutshell, I thought I'd take it easy, chill out, take a relaxed look around town, check out the shops and then visit some of Tokyo's sights (if there are any).

Today was the first day that I felt sort of ok. All week I've been waking up in the dead of night or simply not sleeping at all thanks to jet lag. But this morning and, indeed, last night, I got a decent night's sleep and not the usual broken up affair. The trouble with acclimatising is that there's no point, it's soon time to head back home and suffer all over again. I can't say I'm looking forward to the return flight. I wasn't too keen on the outbound flight and now I've got to repeat it all again. Still, it'll be good to get back to the UK and hail a racist taxi driver to take me home. In fact, talking of racist taxi drivers, I've given up taxis for that reason alone. I don't want to sit and listen to some idiot going on and on about immigration and Brexit. As Stewart Lee said, not all Brexiteers are racists – some of them are cunts.

Hard Rock Café in Tokyo...

When I get back home I'll have to restart my exercise programme (cycling and walking) and try and stop eating cakes and biscuits. I've given up drinking, so I'm darn sure I can sort out a few cakes. I've also got to repeat my old habit of eating well, certainly enjoying a good breakfast in the morning. For the past five or six days it's been toast and tea, so everything's gone out of the window in terms of the 'usual routine'. My multi-seed porridge and blueberries for breakfast are but a distance memory at the moment; and last night, after a relatively healthy day food wise, I went and ruined it by discovering that Tokyo has a Hard Rock Café. It started off well with Atlantic salmon, mashed potatoes, carrots and brocolli, but took a nose dive when I ordered the apple cobbler, smothered as it was in a caramel sauce and garnished with a blob of ice cream. Afterwards I found a Starbucks where I purchased a large mint tea and sipped it slowly while deep in thought about God knows what. For some reason, I felt that the mint tea would cure me of whatever ailment that apple cobbler might have given me.

I fly home tomorrow (Saturday 1255hrs) and, as I just said, I'm not looking forward to it. Twelve, possibly thirteen, hours on a plane: that's a meal and three movies and then around three hours of twiddling my thumbs. Let's just say I hate it. Fortunately, I've got an exit row, like on the outward journey, which means more leg room, but these days, when I have to fly for more than a couple hours, I start to get irritated about not being allowed to fly business class. It's a boring old saga so I won't bore you with it, not now at any rate, but suffice it to say that I'd like to get a decent sleep, but I end up not sleeping at all and when I get off the other end I feel like shit. Let's not go there, it's miles too boring.

A hearty meal in Hard Rock Café...

It's getting a little confusing. Yesterday (Thursday) I sat in a Starbucks with a mint tea and a banana twice: the first time was in the morning prior to a day of checking out the city of Tokyo, first a mission to Osaki to check out where my meeting was to be held on Friday (that's today) and then I found myself in the same Starbucks last thing at night, again with a mint tea and a banana, but this time it was something to do with that awfully unhealthy dessert I'd eaten in the Hard Rock. As I sat in the Starbucks yesterday morning, I felt bad about not being in Precious Coffee Moments where, ironically, I drink tea. The reason I went there for breakfast was to move away from the milky tea and toast breakfast and eat something a little healthier, hence the banana.

On Wednesday night, talking of unhealthy eating, I found a pizza restaurant that fitted the bill of what I was looking for: it wasn't a noodle bar, there wasn't any photographs of the food outside and it was more like the sort of place you get back home – there was music, a pleasant vibe and I could relax a little, which I did. There's nothing worse than trawling the streets looking for something to eat (I do this all the time, it doesn't matter what country). The truth is I don't really know what I'm looking for, or rather I do know, but finding it is the problem. I normally look for somewhere to chill out and relax. And here in Japan it's avoiding the places with the photographs of the food and places where there's somebody standing outside cajoling passers-by to come inside. Prior to finding the pizza restaurant I'd peered through many windows hoping to find the right place, but everywhere fell short of my requirements. I was looking for ambience mainly and a place that looked like it might offer decent food and service. I don't want somewhere too crowded and noisy or too cramped, I certainly don't want photographs of the food and I won't tolerate anywhere that's too dark. I want to be able to see what I'm eating.

Sadly, all the big brands are in Tokyo...

The street on which the pizza restaurant resided looked promising. It veered off from the main street at an angle. It was dark and illuminated here and there by lanterns. It had a certain inviting nature about it, so I took a chance and strolled past small noodle bars, slightly more inviting than those on the main drag, and right at the end of the street I found the pizza place. I knew it was going to be good and took a seat at the bar, but not 'the bar' – there wasn't any optics staring at me, no upturned bottles of whisky or rum, just an exposed kitchen, masses of stainless steel, an espresso machine and pizza chefs busily working on customers' orders – although being mid-week, it wasn't that busy. It was a Wednesday night and there was only a handful of customers. I ordered half portions of two different pizzas (based on the theory that variety is the spice of life) plus a couple of non-alcohol beers (Suntory appears to be the favourite here in Tokyo. It's really good and while I've considered taking some home with me, in retrospect, I think it would be a bad idea. Nothing's THAT good). Making a decent non-alcoholic beer is an art form that the brewers have yet to perfect, but Suntory comes pretty close and, it seems, have cornered the market here in Tokyo. It was only in the Hard Rock Café that they didn't sell it (I was offered a Kirin instead).

At the pizza joint, I made small talk with one of the guys working behind the servery area. He told me he owns a Harley Davidson 883 Hugger, my dream bike, but he wants to own a Triumph (why, I don't know, but he seemed to like all things British: Jaguar, Range Rover and so on). He studied politics at university, managed to get a good job in television, but quit to return to the pizza restaurant because he couldn't hack sitting behind a computer screen all day. He now intends to make a career out of being a restaurateur of some description, much to the initial dismay of his mum who, he said, remained silent about his decision for many days before finally being comfortable with her son's plans. But I'd imagine she was concerned for his future welfare (aren't all parents carrying around that mindset?).

Personally, I always feel envious of people capable of making such a drastic decision and sticking with it, having the courage of their convictions. I would have stayed at the television job and would have certainly taken my parents' advice. I can hear my dad now advising me to stay put and not to be so silly as to think I'd have a future in the restaurant industry. I would have been grateful to have been offered the TV job in the first place, I certainly wouldn't be jacking it in to work in a pizza restaurant. But that's me. I wish I had those sort of 'guts', the guts of a gambling man, the guts of somebody with bags of self confidence. I'm always firmly of the opinion that whatever decision I take, it will be the wrong one. Not that working in the hospitality industry is a walk in the park; it's hard work and long hours for very low pay and in the UK it is often regarded as a subservient profession. That's why the Brits prefer to leave it to migrant workers who regard the low pay as alright, although now we have Brexit, let's see if those Brexiteers who moaned at the migrants for taking their jobs are willing to roll up their sleeves at McDonald's and start cleaning the fryers at the end of a long shift.

Osaki – a kind of posh version of London Docklands

Technically – although there's nothing technical about it – Thursday was a day off. I'd tried to get on a plant visit, which would have taken up the entire day, but had been unsuccessful, so the day was mine. I did need to see how easy (or otherwise) it would be for me to reach the offices of a big company I was visiting on Friday, so I set off early, first for breakfast in a Starbuck's (the aforementioned mint tea and banana) and then I explored a bit of the city. I started off at Roppongi underground station, travelled a couple of stops to Ebisu and then switched to the JR line, which is not part of the metro system, more a kind of Overground train the runs in a circle around the city, meaning I had to pay separately. It was a couple of stops, possibly three, to Osaki, which was a bit like Docklands, but slightly more exclusive, and I made my way to the building I needed to locate. It was easy: an 11-minute walk from Osaki station, so that was dry run sorted, so to speak, now all that remained was the real thing on Friday.

Later, I resisted the temptation to eat Chinese in Osaki and instead pushed on to a place called Shibiya where I found an Indonesian restaurant for lunch. After what was an enjoyable meal of chicken curry with rice and a small cake for dessert, not forgetting a non-alcohol Suntory beer, I headed back to the station and stopped off at two guitar shops, one selling Fender Stratocasters and the other specialising in bass guitars. I was there for all of five minutes before pushing on further to Shinjuki, Tokyo's answer to Oxford Street. I checked out a few stores with no intention of buying anything and when I got back to my hotel I discovered that there was a Hard Rock Café close by and headed in the general direction. It would be good to have something a little wholesome, so once seated I chose Atlantic salmon with mashed potato, greens and carrots – that was the good bit, the bad bit was the dessert of apple cobbler, which might have been fine if it hadn't been drenched in caramel sauce. A little custard would have sufficed, but no, this was just awful. I say awful, I finished the lot, it was very tasty, but it was awful in the sense of not being very healthy. I might have given up drinking, but I've got to give up cakes and sweet things too.