Conversations...

Nick Knowles

Bob: “So, you’ve bought a new car…”

Peter: “Well, not new as such, it’s about five years old.”

Bob: “What did you get?”

Pete: “Nissan Note.”

Bob: “Ah! Yes, he was so good in 48 hours.”

Pete: “You what?”

Bob: “48 Hours. Nick Nolte.”

Pete: “No, Nissan Note.”

Bob: “Oh, sorry mate.”

Pete: “Not a problem."

Bob: “You been watching the golf?”

Pete: “No, but I do like a bit of DIY SOS on the Beeb.”

Bob: “With Nick Nolte?”

Pete: “No, Nick Knowles.”

Nick Nolte

Bob: “Oh, sorry. Shame you’re not keen on the golf."

Pete: “Only a little bit.”

Bob: “Jack Nicklaus, he’s good.”

Pete: “Ah yes, especially in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

Bob: “Eh?”

Pete: “The movie about the nut house, Ken Kesey novel.”

Bob: “Yeah, I know, but it wasn’t Jack Nicklaus it was Jack Nicholson.”

Pete: “Really? I was always told that he somehow managed to balance both roles: acting and playing golf.”

Bob: “Not sure about that. Are you still listening to the Beatles?”

Pete: “Now and then.”

Bob: “Never liked them myself, not keen on that Jack Lemmon bloke.”

Pete: “John Lennon."

Jack Nicholson

Bob: “It must be hard trying to balance two careers: being a Hollywood actor and part of the songwriting duo that was the Beatles.”

Pete: “It was John Lennon, not Jack Lemmon. Jack Lemmon was in that movie with Marilyn Monroe.”

Bob: “Wasn’t she Boy George’s mate?”

Pete: “No, that was Marilyn... and he was a bloke.”

Bob: “Well, what about that John McCartney bloke, he had it tough. Being kidnapped by those terrorists in the Middle East and having to spend a load of time in a cage with that Tom Waits, can't have been pleasant.”

Pete: "Wasn't that why the Beatles split up?"
Bob: “Not entirely sure, probably."
Pete: "It was John McCarthy, actually, not McCartney.”

Bob: "But he was in the Beatles wasn't he?"
Pete: "Who?"

Jack Nicklaus...

Bob: "John McCarthy."
Pete: "No, he was the one in the cage with Tom Waits. It was Paul McCartney who was in the Beatles"
Bob: "With John Lemmon."
Pete: "Lennon."

Bob: "Yes, John Lennon. He wrote that Mull of Kintyre and all that?”

Pete: “No, that was Paul McCartney and Wings."
Bob: "I didn't order wings, can't stand the fuckers!"
Pete: "Fancy a pint?"
Bob: "Of milk?"
Pete: "Nah, fuck off!"
Bob: "Who's eaten your potatoes?"
Pete: "You 'ave, yer nosher!!!"
Bob: "Takes one to know one, son."
Pete: "Here's Johnny!!!!"
Bob: "Fuck off!"
Pete: "He says it all the time..."
Bob: "Oh does he?"
Pete: "Here's Johnny!!!"
Bob: "Give it a rest, nob cheese!."
Pete: "Here's Johnny!!! On the 18th at Augusta!"
Bob: "Don't believe a word of it! Piss off!"