Helsinki to London

It was another one of those occasions when I arrived at the airport early, giving me the full two-hour airport experience. A colleague had dropped me off and now I found myself at the check-in area. Having checked myself in whilst on the night boat to Helsinki, I was annoyed to discover that there was still a lot of faffing about with technology. First I had to place my passport into a machine and then I had to print out the label that I would need to attach to my suitcase before sending it on its way to the aircraft. I was having to do all these jobs that used to be done by a human being. I often wonder what those human beings are doing now, perhaps they're unemployed.

Just one of the snacks I enjoyed, this in Brod & Salt, Stockholm 

Then, it was time for "security" and for some reason only one scanner was working, just one scanner. There was a huge queue, which I found annoying. Where were the people who could be operating the other scanners? Perhaps they were unemployed too, but hold on, this is Finland, it's a cool country (actually, it's freezing) but what I mean is, it's laid back and relaxed and things normally work so well. So I was amazed to discover English hassles in Finland, but soon it was over and I was left to my own devices for a whole two hours. I needed to find a decent restaurant in which to chill out. As you know from reading the previous post I chose Nordic Kitchen from where I ordered an open salmon sandwich, a couple of bars of Fazer chocolate (the small bars) and a green tea. I then sat there eating.The sandwich was excellent, the Fazer chocolate even better and the green tea nice and refreshing.

So men have tits and wear dresses do they Prada?

My flight was due to leave from Gate 46, which was a longish walk from where I was sitting, but there was plenty of time so I wasn't in any way stressed and I wasn't planning on using the automated walkways. But I wasn't as chilled out as I should have been. For some reason I was not relaxed enough to read my book, Eat, Sleep, Cycle by Anna Hughes, so instead I just sat there deep in thought about something mundane. I was, of course, on the last leg of my trip and was looking forward to the flight home to London, albeit a flight that was scheduled to take off after dark at 1935hrs, meaning I wouldn't be able to see a thing out of the window. I was sitting in seat 23a, which is odd as the gate coming out here was 23 so the number had cropped up more than once on the trip. I find myself getting superstitious when I fly. I start by adding up all the numbers on my boarding pass, ie the flight number and so forth, and I hope and pray they never add up to 13. It's stupid, I know, but it makes me feel better about things. One of these days, of course, the numbers won't go in my favour and I'll be faced with a dilemma: change my flight or go with what I've got. I know, it's really stupid.

Twisting corridor, Birger Jarl hotel, Stockholm

Technology is the most annoying thing. I decided to transfer my boarding pass to the 'wallet' app on my iphone and then the battery ran out so I had to approach the person on the gate and ask for a printed boarding pass. What I hate more than anything is a "full flight" and this was one of them, every seat taken and everybody with hand luggage that really should have been stowed in the hold. I think the thing I hate most about flying is the other passengers. There was one woman with a suitcase, a laptop AND a large bag but nobody thought to stop her from boarding with all three. Most of the other passengers were the same and this caused a lot of hassle. All the overhead lockers were jammed with bags and rucksacks and the cabin crew were left to make it work, which it did in the end.

Ready for minus 14 Helsinki.

All flights are late to take off and this one must have been around 30 minutes later than scheduled. We roared down the runway and up into the skies and most of the flight was fine, but loads of problems started to arise for me once we'd left the ground, not major problems, just hassles. Earlier, when I disembarked from the boat, I'd foolishly left my adaptor and phone charger in the socket by the desk. This in itself was odd as once I had finished packing my suitcase I triple-checked everything to ensure that nothing had been left behind. I'd cleared security on the way out when I remembered and was fortunately allowed back on the ship to retrieve my stuff. My big mistake, which would affect things later on, was that I shoved my charger and adaptor into my suitcase, which I later checked in when I reached the airport. Sitting in Nordic Kitchen I noticed that I had 24% battery left so I switched off the phone to save power, but then I realised I'd need it to show my boarding pass at the gate. I went to switch on the phone and it simply wouldn't power up (remember, this is a fairly new iphone, it's about a year, possibly two years old and I certainly didn't expect it to start playing the tricks my other iphones have played, ie switching themselves off when the battery was low but not that low. Anyway, not only was I now unable to use my phone, I noticed that my watch was powering down too and will probably need a new battery. At the gate I managed to get the aforementioned printed boarding pass but I had no way of knowing what time it was and I couldn't charge my phone because the charger was in my suitcase which I'd checked in. Annoying how earlier actions, however small, come back to bite me when I least expect it.

Generally speaking the flight was fine, but all hell broke lose around an hour before landing in the UK, the plane being buffeted from side-to-side in the wind and rain. In the end I was used to it and it didn't bother me, but I was distracted enough not to read my book. Not having a watch that worked meant I had no idea how long there was to go before we landed. Normally when I fly I'm always looking at my watch and counting down the hours and the minutes until the pilot announces that the plane is about to descend into wherever I happen to be going, but this time I had no idea. There was a bald-headed man in front of me watching boxing on his iphone and I managed to spot the time, 2154hrs, meaning we'd been up for a couple of hours and had just under an hour to go. The severe weather, however, offered me no hints. I couldn't see for a start so I had to wait and let things unfold without me; I grinned and beared it all. Suddenly the captain made an announcement, but first he made it in Finnish and it seemed to take ages; then he spoke English and basically he was saying we would shortly begin our descent into London Heathrow. That normally means we're around 25 to 30 minutes away from landing. 

The plane slowly descended, rocking to and fro as it made its way towards terra firma. Eventually things calmed down. Then, the usual announcement that always baffles me. "Cabin crew, 10 minutes to landing" and it's normally at this point that I look out of the window and notice lights way way below me and I start thinking there's no way he's going to get all that way in just 10 minutes. Some times they do, other times, well, I can never remember if they ever do it in 10 minutes. Next time I'll time it.

Once on the ground the plane wound its way around the tarmac and eventually came to a standstill, but then all the passengers had to get off and get their bags out of the overhead lockers. It took an age and I had a minicab waiting for me. The problem now, of course, was that I couldn't call the driver until I'd retrieved my case from baggage reclaim, found the charger and charged the phone. This I did, sitting in a Caffe Nero and when the phone lit up I noticed many missed calls from an unknown mobile number, it was my minicab driver. I called him and we arranged a meeting place. Outside there was driving rain and shiny streets and pavements, and it continued all the way home on the M25. It had been raining all day and if I'm honest, I preferred the minus 14 degrees of Helsinki.

I reached home around 2300hrs, hit the sack around 2330hrs and now here I am, it's Friday morning and I've got the day off, the rain has stopped and I'm in the garden room blogging. 

Night boat to Helsinki, part two...

Last night's dinner in Bon Vivant (and yes, I still hate the name) was absolutely amazing and arguably the best meal I've eaten outside of my own house. I started with potato and oyster mushroom, but there was no mention of 'soup' and I was wondering exactly what I'd get. A jacket potato with mushrooms? Surely not. And no, it wasn't that, it was a soup, which was very tasty even if it didn't look that appetising. It had made the mistake of fine dining establishments in the UK from the early noughties onwards: that of serving up something that resembles gob. Or as fine dining establishments like to call it, foam. I hate it! And yes it does look as if somebody (the chef probably) has gobbed in a dish, added a bit of garnish and shouted 'Service!' But it tasted good. It tasted great but it wasn't particularly substantial. I've enjoyed better soups, put it that way, but still, it was good and that's all that matters. For my main course, I chose beef and plum and again the description was deceptive. What was I going to get? A piece of beef and a plum? Well, yes, I suppose, but it was much better than that: a huge slab of beef cooked to perfection with a very tasty slab of potato 'cake' on which was resting a large sprig of brocolli. Is that right? A sprig of brocolli? Anyway, it was the most amazing main course and I loved every bit of it, even if the waiter did arrive a few moments later to say he'd given me the wrong sauce (I hadn't noticed) and said it didn't matter a jot. I finished with a rice pudding dish – 'rice and gooseberry' – and it too was amazing, far better than I expected and easily the healthiest dessert on the menu. An alcohol-free Heineken and a large bottle of mineral water finished off the meal and I must say I sat there for a long time chilling as the ship steamed its way towards Helsinki.

Icy waters surrounding the port in Stockholm

After dinner there wasn't much to do unless I fancied the noisy cabaret act or the fruit machines in the casino. There's nothing worse than a casino, especially on a ship, because the reality is there are no 'high rollers' just chancers in ill-fitting clothes, you know the sort of person, they used to hog the pub fruit machine and knew far to much about when to 'nudge' and when to collect, always had pockets full of tokens jingling in their pockets. They're not James Bond, they're not George Clooney or anybody else who looks good in a dinner suit, they're just fools who will eventually lose whatever they win. Gambling, like drinking, is pointless. So with a toss-up of cabaret or casino I decided just to wander around. I checked my flight to London, added all the information the airline wanted to know and then put the finishing touches to yesterday's blogpost. It was soon time for bed, not that I really wanted to return to the barren cabin, but all the shops were closing for the night and it was almost 2300hrs. I lay on my bed, resting my head on the one pillow provided, and listened to the noises of the ship (which were mainly people flushing toilets in nearby cabins). 

Ice surrounds the ship

Outside it was dark and all that was visible was the bright white bow wave of the ship as it ploughed through the inky black sea. Eventually I fell asleep but I awoke around 0300 and by and large that was it, I never got back to sleep. I looked out every now and then and saw distant ships that I imagined were going back to Stockholm from Helsinki, but that was it. Prior to that moment (and probably much earlier on, possibly around midnight) I remember the ship slowing down. When I looked out of the window there were lights and a port and it reminded me of that scene in Apocalypse Now when Martin Sheen arrives in a strange, illuminated part of the jungle where the soldiers are dropping acid and I think Dennis Hopper turned up taking photographs. My memory of the movie is sketchy at best. I remember it being 0600 and 0700 and then I noticed that my watch was losing power, the battery needed to be replaced. 

Fast Lane restaurant...

At around 0800hrs I jumped into the shower. I wasn't expecting anything great, but it turned out to be the best shower of the trip, far better than the Birger Jarl hotel's offering. The space was cramped, however,  and the plug appeared to be blocked so the tray filled up and overflowed – but then I saw a plug on the floor and assumed it was a 'wet room', although that doesn't excuse the shower as there was a plug in the shower that clearly wasn't working. I decided not to shave, I just couldn't be bothered, and besides, I needed to get out of the cabin and down to breakfast in the Fast Lane restaurant. I'd imagine that Bon Vivant is closed and who wants a fine dining breakfast for heaven's sake, miniscule portions of food that should be piled high on the plate? Fast Lane was making big claims about its breakfast and to be fair it delivered on them. Porridge with berries and yoghurt fitted the bill nicely, throw in a pastry, a banana and a mint tea and I was in my element again. But then I wondered, when am I not in my element? Probably when I'm hungry. I kind of regret the pastry, but other than that all was well.

The view from cabin 9212, Thursday 8th February, 0800hrs.

The sea is flat calm and there's a mist that limits visibility. It's 0939 and there's about an hour to run. I'll need to get back to my cabin in order to pack stuff up and make ready to disembark. I must say I've enjoyed the ride, it's been a great night on the high seas and far better than being in a hotel, and I think I probably exaggerated the more unsavoury elements of the trip. It wasn't the ship's fault that one of its passengers decided to have a noisy shag and I suppose I ought to forgive the man in Fast Lane for belching, he was only human after all. 

The perfect main course...

Was it a party boat? Well, I suppose for some it probably was; there was certainly a lot of entertainment and with entertainment comes drinking so I'm guessing there are a few people with sore heads this morning wishing they didn't have to disembark, but in so many ways it was very civilised, far more civilised than it might have been if the ship was English. The passengers on the Silja Symphony were a little more sophisticated, considerably less lairy and drunk than their English counterparts. There's a mixed bunch here in Fast Lane this morning: a young family with a baby and their parents, the odd married couple, two kids playing on their own by the window, a man with a pony tail and beard playing with his iphone, a couple of slightly older people, probably married, a woman on her own, her case already packed and by her side, drinking tea, and many other variants of humanity going about the simple task of eating whatever they consider to be 'breakfast' be it a cup of tea or a bowl of porridge.

It's getting very close to the time when we disembark. Looking out of the window now I can see a lot of land, lots of snow and houses and hills and bare trees. We're in Finland that's a fact and it looks very cold and bleak, much bleaker than Stockholm so I'm glad I've brought the Russian hat with me and that I'm wearing a thick jumper and my UniQlo trousers, which are padded and warm. I'd better go, it's been good and I'd definitely do it again, that's a fact.

Minus 14 degrees in Helsinki...sea's frozen up

It's seriously cold out there, I thought as I surveyed the port area of Helsinki. My iphone said it was minus 14 degrees and the sea had frozen up. There were huge chunks of ice covering every inch of the sea and it was amazing how the boat managed to get through it all, but it did. Foolishly I had left my charger and adaptor in the cabin, which was mildly annoying as I'd spent a lot of time surveying the cabin for anything I might have left behind. I failed to check the power point. But no matter, I simply went back in and retrieved it and no time was lost.

Breakfast on the boat...

There was ice on the ground in Helsinki – a lot of ice – it was much, much colder than Stockholm and I had to be careful in case I slipped and fell. Fortunately I didn't fall and it was only a matter of time before I found myself at Helsinki airport after a brief meeting with a colleague. The check-in procedure was pretty straightforward and there was a queue for security, but it soon dwindled into nothing and eventually I was through and sitting in Nordic Kitchen where I ordered a salmon sandwich and some Fazer chocolate, not forgetting a mug of green tea. I might buy myself a bottle of water for the flight. Earlier, I ordered a cab to take me from London Heathrow to home (£79). That will save a gruelling journey with a suitcase on public transportation. I should be home by around 2200hrs.

I'm flying Finnair and if I remember correctly they hand out a small circular piece of chocolate in a red wrapper. I'll be looking forward to that. Having said that, I've had a couple of small bars of Fazer with my salmon sandwich in Nordic Kitchen so I don't want to be overdoing things. In fact, all this eating of rubbish simply has to stop, but I just can't resist it, especially if I'm hungry. I need to start swimming and upping the cycling as the weather warms up, but I can't keep talking, I must act.

22 August 2022 - Flight AY1332 London Heathrow to Helsinki...

The taxi to Heathrow was fine. I was left alone, which is the main thing and that was thanks to the driver not being English and, therefore, not being a racist or a bigot, like some of the British taxi drivers I've experienced on past trips. Very little conversation passed between us and I was allowed to look out of the window and engage in my own thoughts. Perhaps that should be 'engage with my own thoughts'. I reached the airport with plenty of time to chill out before I departed, that is after passing through security, which is always very annoying. Fortunately, I didn't have to take off my shoes. That said, despite not having any metal on my person, the alarm still went off and I was forced to use the body scanner.

Flight to Helsinki...

Finding somewhere to eat did prove problematic as everywhere I had to queue. First at The Curator so I didn't bother; then at Caffe Nero so I gave that a miss and then I found no queue at Wagamama so I took my seat, decided on what I wanted to eat and waited for somebody to take my order; but they didn't so I upped and left and then found a table at a very pink and girly establishment, which had once been Oriel. I was, of course, in Terminal 3, but the restaurant in question was rubbish. A couple to my left were already moaning to the manager about the dry and stodgy nature of the baked goods they had purchased. I had ordered from a menu that I had to request otherwise I was supposed to scan a QR code on the table and use my phone. They couldn't be bothered basically to hand out menus and asking for one caused mutterings from the staff as if I'd asked for something over and above the call of duty. Expecting paying guests to rely upon technology is all about doing as little as possible for the customer... but still asking for the same money. From now onwards, I will always say that my phone is faulty; similarly for paying the bill: I'd rather use my credit card and no, I don't want them to email me a receipt, I want a paper one...go cut down a tree and make it snappy! Not really. Well, not really in the sense that I don't want them to cut down a tree, but that's about it.

Looking out...

I am now onboard the flight and tucking into my second bar of Fazer chocolate (a quality Finnish chocolate brand). This is also mildly annoying as I have been doing very well on losing weight and keeping fit, but this week I'm away from the bike and it looks as if I'll be forced to eat crap on the hoof, like most travellers find themselves doing. I'm not moaning about the chocolate, though, as it is fantastic. But let's get back to the weight loss. First, the cycling to and from work over the past few weeks: it's been great (as you know) and I've managed to lose around a stone, perhaps just under a stone. I'm now (or I was) just a pound or two over 12 stone, thanks to exercise and salads and not too many potatoes. Now I'm away for a week, I've left my shorts on the washing line back home and that means no exercise unless I buy some shorts and that, of course, depends on whether my hotel has a gym with an exercise bike. Let's see.

Nobody around...Finland population 5.5 million

Outside of the plane window I can see clouds below me and blue skies above. The flight time to Helsinki is two hours and 17 minutes and I must say that Finnair has been good. Friendly cabin crew, a vast improvement on British Airways and it has to be said they (the Finnish crew) have a far nicer attitude. I'm looking forward to reaching Helsinki as I'm meeting Illka, somebody I met in New Delhi in 2018. He works for a Finnish company called Pesmel - they're into 'material flow how' - and we're having dinner in town. Then I'm off to Sweden (Stockholm to be precise) where I am planning to interview two people individually about steel making technology. 

View from Room 602, Scandic Paasi

The plane is big, an Airbus 350-900 and I am sitting in seat 23a, there's only one other person in my row and he's in the aisle seat, which means there's a much welcomed space between us which I'm sure we both appreciate. As I write this, we have been in the air for just over one hour which, if you'll excuse the pun, has flown by. The scenery outside the plane hasn't changed much, which is fine by me and there's little else to do other than write or read. Looking at the map, we're over Copenhagen at the moment and there must be around one hour and 15 minutes left before we land. Once on the ground I'll make my way to the hotel, the Scandic Paasi, and see what the situation is with regard to the gym. All the recent cycling to work has made me a bit of a fitness freak and now that I'm losing so much unwanted weight I want to keep it off, hence the possibility that I might need a pair of shorts if there's a gym and an exercise bike.

The flight is very serene, people are relaxing, there's little conversation, babies must be sleeping, adults reading or watching movies, it's great. I can see land below me and sea; I wonder if the Danish government has dumped loads of shit and other sewage in the sea. Somehow I doubt it very much.

Deserted platform...

There's about 30 minutes to go before we land. I'm always looking at the map and watching as the little plane (the plane on the map, that is) makes its way towards Helsinki. The descent has started and we're 15 minutes ahead of schedule. The temperature in Helsinki is 21 degrees and, as the pilot said, the sun continues in Finland. The in-flight service has come to an end, not that i was going to order more chocolate. The skies below us are clear and blue and I'm looking forward to being on the ground. If there's a minibar in my hotel room I won't be using it. The last time I was in Helsinki was in February 2020, just ahead of lockdown. Back then, it was cold and unbearable to be outside for more than a few minutes. Knowing that the weather was going to be pleasant I considered a wander around the city for a to see if I could find where I was the last time I was here, but time caught up with me. I wish I had booked the ferry from Helsinki to Stockholm instead of the flight as that would have been good fun, but I didn't think, which means another, albeit short flight tomorrow. Outside it didn't look as if we had descended at all. We were, however, flying at 41,000 feet. I would have to wait until the stats appeared on the screen in front of me. 

'We will land soon' said a recorded voice. As I suspected the clouds  reappeared. We are now at 20,000 feet so we've come down a long way, it just didn't look that way. Actually, perhaps it did as those clouds I'd been looking down upon were now much closer so perhaps I simply wasn't paying attention. There was only 15 minutes of the flight left but I wondered if they could get all that way to the ground in such a short space of time? It's a thought I always have at this stage in any flight and, quite frankly, it never ceases to amaze me. I could see lakes below. Quite a few lakes. It was a fairly clear day and I could see roads and houses. "Landing in 10 minutes," said the captain, but it still seemed impossible that we would be on the ground in such a short space of time. I could make out apartment blocks and even an airstrip. There was the odd rogue cloud and a hazy mistiness as the plane descended. Fields, fir trees, forests, the plane banked left a little making me wonder whether the airport I saw earlier was, in fact where we were landing. More banking left. I could see cars on the roads now as the plane straightened momentarily before banking left again. My seat (23a) was right on the wing. To my left I could see the sea, the undercarriage was now down and the plane was almost gliding to the ground. I could see back gardens and forests and industrial buildings, car parks, four-lane highways and we were on the ground, engines switched to reverse thrust, we had arrived in Helsinki and slowed to a virtual halt as we began to snake our way towards the terminal building.