This and that...

Met Andy on Saturday at Sheree's Tea Room in Tatsfield. We chatted about many things, but the best part of the conversation was when we talked about Andy's school trip to, well, everywhere by the sounds of it. He took a boat across the Bay of Biscay in a storm and in the same boat went to the Azores, although Andy couldn't remember much about the Azores, a place I'd like to visit. I wonder if you can go on holiday to the Azores? Probably. On the same trip, Andy went to Morocco and, well, sounds like it was a great trip if you ask me.

Andy and I had been chatting about travelling by train through Europe to Spain and that's how we got on to the Bay of Biscay and Andy's school trip. I had been planning on a business trip to Barcelona and during my research discovered that there was only £200 between flying there and taking the train. Unfortunately, the trip had to be cancelled (or rather postponed) but it'll be back on the agenda in September and my plan is to take the train. Andy's already made the journey.

Andy-related stuff has kept me going this weekend. I'd admit I'd forgotten he was going to tackle the Dunwich Dynamo, a 120-mile free ride from Hackney in London to Dunwich on the Suffolk coast - at night time. The ride goes through the night and Andy tells me he finished around 0400hrs, adding that it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Miraculously, he rode on from Dunwich for 30 miles, presumably to where he was planning to spend the night, but what a guy! Well done, Andy. I can't wait to read about it on your blog.

My ride to Tatsfield had been fine, a little bit of fine rain (or was it moisture from the early morning fog?) but generally the ride was great. As always, Andy was there before me but I'm guessing just before me as his coffee had yet to be delivered to the table. I ordered a tea. Andy said that Sheree had forgotten to order his vegan pastry - shame on her! - but all seemed well. Andy said Sheree's Tearooms was sanctuary and I know just what he means. In many ways it's a strange place, full of crazy teapots and gift items, like scented candles and soft toys, but it's great place for a much-welcomed pot of tea after a bike ride, albeit a short one of around eight miles.

Ken, one of Sheree's regulars, was there wearing, it has to be said, a great shirt. He's in his eighties but he's still looking good. The place was very different on a Saturday. We're normally there on a Sunday when things are fairly peaceful, but on Saturday there are lots of people around buying their shopping, plenty of chit chat and general bustle, which livened the place up a little bit. I ordered a second pot of tea and another latte for Andy and we sat there chatting before heading off - Andy preparing for the Dunwich Dynamo and me just going home to prepare for visits to see mum in hospital. There's nothing wrong with her, but she's being kept in to build up her strength and deal with frailty issues. 

... and now it's almost a week later. I've been at work all week (nothing new there!) but today I was in London for a lunch with a colleague from Germany. Olivo in Eccleston Street was good, but this was a business meeting and it went well. We discussed next year's conference (the one I organise every year). The conference in question takes a lot of work and I've started early trying to pull together a programme. It's going to mean some trips to get everybody on side (not that anybody isn't onside). But enough of work talk. I left the restaurant around 3pm and there was no point going back to work.I can't remember what time I reached home, something like 5pm or 5.30pm. I went to Coco & Nut for a cup of tea and some banana bread and then walked home. Right now I'm watching the French Olympics opening ceremony, it's quite impressive and there are some very arty bits in between the parade of athletes on boats on the Seine.

I was going to see mum in hospital, but I'll be there tomorrow and people have been up to see her today. She's doing alright according to reports on WhatsApp.

The weather has been good today, but generally not brilliant. It's easily been the worst summer for some time.

I'm currently reading Sonic Life by Thurston Moore, better make that I'm still reading Sonic Life, it's a big book but a good book, lots of interesting insights about the band and the US no wave scene in New York in the seventies and eighties. When I finish it, I'm planning on doing another A-Z challenge, reading a book for every letter of the alphabet from A through to Z. It's a good exercise as it introduces me to new novelists; not new in the sense that they've just written whatever it is I'm going to read, but new in the sense of new to me. One of the rules is that I'm not allowed to read any author I have read before - and believe me that leaves me with plenty of choice! For my letter A I'm thinking about Eric Ambler, but nothing is set in stone yet. I'm not allowed to listen to anybody's recommendation and it has to be a totally random exercise. That said, I do have a book that I'm allowed to use as reference, the Rough Guide to Cult Fiction.

Anyway, I'm off to read Andy's blog about his mammoth ride, that of the Dunwich Dynamo. Andy will be back at Sheree's on Sunday so I'll be looking forward to seeing him.

The joys of cycling!

Cycling merrily along British roads, I turned left on to the Limpsfield Road, quite safely, when a white van man slowed alongside me.

Van man: "What do you think you're doing, you silly cunt!"

Me: "Go fuck yourself!"

Van man: "Fuck off yourself!"

Me: "Yer bald-headed cunt! Brexit wanker! Piss off!"

And at that point he rolled up his window and drove off in a huff.

A few thoughts on mental health and politics

Lots to discuss, but perhaps a bit about my mental health first. Today, now, as I sit here at 2058hrs on a Monday evening, I feel good - good enough to write something - I feel okay and by that I mean I don't have bouts of butterflies in my stomach or that awful feeling that something terrible might be happening, commonly known, I'm told, as a panic attack, something I've been subjected to ever since my sister passed away, or rather while she was in the process of passing away. I remember clearly, on the day she died, on 2nd December 2023, leaving the hospital with my niece and my brother and almost finding it impossible to drive them round to mum's. Seriously, it wasn't good, but it subsided and then it would return or it might not return until the following day but it was always around. I had it yesterday for a short while and it was such that I said no, I wasn't up to driving somewhere (Forest Row near East Grinstead) only to discover a few moments later that, actually, I was alright, and then off we went and I never had any problems. So, anyway, here I am, in fine fettle, just had a chat with the illustrious illustrator (my pal Geoff) about politics and guitars and, well, the conversation ended up with a chat about IZAL medicated toilet paper (I brought it up) and that came about because Geoff was talking about how Jimmy Hendrix, on Crosstown Traffic, used a comb and some tracing paper, which makes a sound similar to a gazoo, to achieve a certain sound. We'd been talking about Duane Eddy's Peter Gunne and, well, either way we ended up talking about bog roll, mainly because I remember, as a kid, using a comb and some IZAL medicated toilet paper to make the sound of a gazoo. In my school days, if you needed a poo you'd have the indignity of using IZAL medicated toilet paper and let's just say that it wasn't a very pleasant experience. It seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet and replaced by something a little more comfortable.

So, yes, the conversation nose-dived from politics and talking about James O'Brien's book How They Broke Britain to discussing the awfulness of IZAL medicated toilet paper.

But getting back to my mental state (which is fine). I just seem be having these weird panic attacks which date back to my sister's untimely and tragic death just before Christmas last year and now, of course, my mum having all these falls in her house, which have led to the attacks continuing. I'm fine when I'm on the bike, I'm fine at work or on the train to and from work and I'm fine now, at home, at 2109hrs. My question is this: how come I'm okay now, but I wasn't okay for a lot of yesterday? What have I done today that I hadn't done yesterday, what had I been eating yesterday that I've avoided today? Well, cake springs to mind. Perhaps it's got something to do with sugar, I don't know. I even had a cappuccino on Saturday, that's always a no-no for me. Coffee often makes me feel a little weird. But earlier I said I didn't experience any panic attacks whilst on the bike on Sunday (yesterday) but I was getting it slightly in Sheree's for some reason. It's a very odd thing. Perhaps today I've tried to steer clear of subjects that are stressful, like my mum, but let's leave it there as I don't want to start feeling strange again. Right now, I'm fine, and that's the main thing.

So what else? Politics, of course. For a start, I'm glad the Tories were absolutely trounced on Thursday last week. Labour is now in power under the leadership of Sir Keir Starmer, and all I can say about the Tories is good riddance. We had 14 years of crap from the Tories from David Cameron onwards. In fact, Cameron set the ball in motion for Brexit and then, once achieved, he resigned and the country was subjected to a load of disgusting and incompetent Tory Leaders: Theresa May (she wasn't too bad) Boris Johnson, Liz Truss and, of course, Rishi Sunak. But how awful have the Tories been? Extremely awful. Austerity under Cameron and Osborne, Theresa May's awful premiership, which involved the whole 'hostile environment' strategy, and then, of course, Bojo, Boris Johnson and the Partygate scandal and other disgusting activities, all the corruption, the row about his wallpaper, the sleaze, I can't remember half of what he got up to, but we all know that he was an out and out liar and eventually he had to go. But then came Liz Truss, who messed up the economy with her mini-budget, which led to her being the prime minister who reigned for the shortest ever time, I think it was 47 days or something absolutely ridiculous. Lastly, Sunak, a multi-millionaire, actually, make that billionaire, a man so out of touch with the people he's supposed to be governing it beggars belief. Well, he's gone, they've all gone, and thank the Lord for that. We've all been waiting ages for the general election and we all voted with our feet when it came. The Labour Party has a stonking majority, the country went from blue to red overnight and many people have been sighing a huge sigh of relief at the thought that they've gone. 

I was glad to see the back of Jacob Rees-Mogg, Grant Schapps, Liz Truss, the list goes on and on and on, but they've gone! The public has spoken and that's what's great about living in a democracy and not a dictatorship. They've gone! But there's more to the politics of stupidity than the Tory party. Take a wider view, there's so much wrong with our political classes, they're just not that good. I've said before that we need "proper politicians" and they're out there, believe me. 

Unfortunately for me, I live in a staunch Tory constituency so my vote for Labour was well and truly wasted, although I shouldn't really think that way, but it's true. To be fair, I suppose that if everybody switched and voted Labour then Chris Philp would be out of the picture, but he's still here as my local MP and he has a position in the shadow cabinet too, and I suppose you have to ask why. Well, in my case it's, as I say, because I live in a staunch Tory constituency and there are people who would vote Tory whatever happened, but there are other situations where it's the individual who carries the weight and not, if you like, the politics. Take, for example, Jeremy Corbyn. Now I know he's not everybody's cup of tea and that he's pretty extreme left wing (which a lot of people don't like) but ultimately the people of Islington North voted for him as an independent candidate because it was him they trusted to do their bidding in Parliament. In short, whatever you think of Corbyn (I like him) he is a proper politican, not a career politican (of which there were many in the Tory Party since 2010) but a genuine individual who the voters want be they Labour or Independent. I'm sure there are Tories who garner the same kind of admiration, because not all Tories are bad people in the same way that not all Labour or Green or Lib-Dem politicians are not worth voting for. I'm sure there are Tory MPs out there who are respected because of who they are and what they have done for their constituents, which makes it all the worse for them when the greater party (the likes of Johnson and Truss and Sunak and others) let the side down and ruin it for genuinely decent people. It's a shame we can bring together the best politicians, the proper politicians and make up a party that serves all, has left and right leanings and compromises where compromise is needed.

Listen, let's talk about stupidity. I'll admit that I'm fairly left leaning in my politics (that's not the stupid bit). But the last thing I want is to have Donald Trump in the White House at the end of the year, with people like Nigel Farage fawning over him like he did the last time. The last thing I want is for that idiot with a daft haircut to throw Ukraine under the bus and side with the Russians and the awful Victor Orban of Hungary. I wish, as I'm sure you'll imagine, that Putin would get the hell out of Ukraine. But it's looking as if the Democrats are going to shoot themselves in the foot by keeping Joe Biden in the job when it's clear that he's going to be regarded by the American public as somebody not up to the job and that means another term for the fucking Donald, the last thing the world needs. So I'd say sort it out now, not later, get somebody else in place and don't let that idiot Trump come back into power again, the man is an imbecile of the highest order. But no, rather than see the threat for what it is, Biden is "not going anywhere" and, therefore, is putting himself over the interests of the American people. What is wrong with him?

The weather in the UK has been atrocious. Really piss poor. Rain, cloud, not nice and it's affected the riding. I didn't go out Saturday morning because it was raining. Fortunately the weather was fine for Sunday so I met Andy as planned at Sheree's. I've been alternating my rides (not deliberately) but in line with the weather. One minute two rides over a weekend, the next just one ride. It's not been good and now I'm definitely going to get swimming sorted out. I know I keep saying I will, but, yeah, in fact, let's not say anything, it's safer.

A strange dream early in the morning...

A strange dream. I was in Berwick upon Tweed and I recall remarking to myself that it was the first place where the surroundings begin to look more Scottish than English and then I was no longer there, but instead I entered some kind of shopping centre looking for somewhere to chill out, a coffee shop perhaps, but I never found one. Instead I was with a woman, a PR woman by all accounts, who was showing me a room. The room had its floor down from where we were standing and there were conveyor belts, two I think, coming up from the ground level of the room. The conveyor on the left had a sleeping back on it. We moved out of the room, or rather I did, leaving the woman there to lock up or something and as I left the room I realised I was in some kind of theatre but without any seats, perhaps it was a school hall with heavy curtains concealing the stage. For some reason I thought it would be funny to hide from the woman behind the drapes, which I did, realising that I was barefooted for some reason and that my right foot was exposed. I quickly pulled it back and awaited the arrival of the woman.