This and that...

It's around 0300hrs and I'm lying on my back in bed, or rather on the bed. Suddenly, I'm awake and it'll take me awhile to get back to sleep. Outside I can hear the rain, that's probably what woke me up, but now I'm hoping I don't remember whatever it is that I've been fretting about otherwise I'll never get back to sleep, although it's odd how suddenly I awake, unaware that I did fall asleep, and it's something like 0630 and I should be getting up to go to work. A lot depends on what day it is: if it's a Thursday or a Friday then I can afford to lie in, but in all honesty, once I'm awake there's little point remaining in bed. I get up, go downstairs, make breakfast and then sit and watch mainstream television channels, normally GMTV between 0630 and 0700 and then possibly a bit of the hilarious Mike Graham Show on YouTube, although it's highly addictive and that's the last thing I need when work, in some shape or form, beckons.

Pricey cake from GAIL's.

I haven't written for a long time and there's no real excuse or reason why not, I just haven't. I have, by and large, kept the cycling up. Last weekend, for example, I rode to Oxted and back, 20 miles, stopped for a cup of tea at Caffe Nero, finished off Hard Rain Falling by Don Carpenter and now I'm reading another 'rock' book, this time Welcome to Your Life by Roland Orzabal of Tears for Fears fame. In fact, today, I walked around two miles or so to Filtr, a coffee shop (a bit pricey for what you get) and sat there reading. I even managed to walk back and miss the rain. Yes, despite a major heatwave which started at the end of May and continued up until a day or two ago, the rain looks as if it's coming back as we head towards autumn, although I don't particularly want to talk autumn and then, inevitably, Christmas and how many shopping days there are to go, that's just plain depressing.

So the cycling has continued. The weekend before last I'd started riding non-stop, doing what I think I once called the Slines Oak Slogger, a 15-mile 'slog' up Slines Oak Road and then through Woldingham and down towards Botley Hill before heading along the 269 to Warlingham and home. Not a bad idea doing a non-stop ride as there's no lolling around in coffee shops and, therefore, no expenditure on tea and cakes, although on the latter, I had been doing really well in not having them, I literally stopped for some time until, that is, yesterday when I found myself in GAIL's eating one of their tiny little oval-shaped cakes with pink icing (see photo above). GAIL's is too pricey for what it is, like most places, but I always feel ripped off in GAIL's because it's too expensive for a chain operation masquerading as an independent, pure and simple. In fact, we try not to go to GAIL's and were foolish to enter one in Kew Gardens yesterday when there was so much choice from the independent sector. Still, you live and learn I guess. Actually, a word on Kew Gardens. The last time I was there, I was standing outside of a music shop and next to me was Pete Townshend of the Who. The music shop has gone, much to my dismay.

The much maligned front wheel.

A key thing of late has been walking, lots of it. Take this week, for example, since Monday I have walked roughly 13 miles, last week it was even more, I think it was 18 miles. I have a local route but I also walk back from the station on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Today is Friday and I walked roughly seven miles. All I've got to do now is get the swimming started up again and I'll be quids in, so to speak.

Tomorrow I hope to be up and out of the house on the bike. It's crucial not to sit around in the morning as it gets later and later and I end up doing a non-stop ride rather than a longer Oxted ride with a cup of tea thrown in for good measure. I've got to force myself not to watch YouTube, which, I'll admit, is becoming a problem, it's addictive, and the trouble is I tend to watch a lot of people shouting the odds about the UK and how it's governed, which, while entertaining, can become tiresome in the extreme.

I wouldn't say I'm on top of the world at the moment, I'm not. Up until relatively recently I was getting a good night's sleep, but now not so much. I'm still letting things get to me, which is wrong and it needs to be addressed, but how I just don't know. I need a day or two in the capsule to get my sleep back in order, a dose of Radio 3's Night Tracks wouldn't go amiss, anything to reset the clock or get myself back to a default setting.

Upended bike on parched lawn.

The bikes have been fine, though. The Kona is used occasionally and the Specialized is still my main go-to bicycle. I did have a puncture problem the other day, one of those occasions when something goes wrong and I end up in the shop asking them to fix it for me. It started when I bought a new tyre, which was okay, but it's always a little bit of a hassle getting it on the wheel. I was doing this in the back garden during the heat, the lawn totally brown. Anyway, somehow I pinched the inner tube the tyre wouldn't inflate because it was punctured. I bought another one.  There were far too many 'leeches' on the original inner tube that's why I bought a new one in the first place, but then, I ruined the new one and had to buy another. There was another problem, however, and that involved the wheel itself. We're talking the front wheel, which is normally the easiest when compared with the rear wheel, which involves the chain. I don't know what happened. I had to make sure that the wheel spun freely, but it didn't and I had to mess around trying to get it right, which I couldn't. God knows what happened, but I ended up having to buy a new thread thingy, a quick release set to give it its technical name and the guy in the shop fixed it for me. Very annoying. I always feel defeated if I have to let somebody else fix it, but it's working well now so all is good; there's a new inner tube, a new tyre and a new quick release set. I have another one should there be a problem with the rear wheel.

As the weather has, to a degree broken, my summer habit of buying two large bottles of Highland Spring sparkling water is slowly stopping. I used to sit out in the garden sipping the chilled drink as I read until darkness fell and then I'd come in and watch TV. Well, now, instead of the usual two bottles I only buy one and I'm guessing it'll only be a matter of time before that little habit disappears altogether. I'll try not to let it die. There's nothing worse than chilled (or ultra cold) water when the heat has gone, but if I can keep it up I will as drinking water is good for you and I'm partial to sparkling mineral water. For some reason I've gone off of drinking Pellegrino.

Dr. Michael Mosley once said that it was good to drink a glass of water with every meal. Well, I have one in the morning and I'm still working on having one in the evening too.

Hating the sound of my own 'voice' and other observations...

I awoke to the realisation that I hate the sound of my own 'voice'. And the reason for those inverted commas is simple: I hate the sound of my written 'voice'. I'm annoyed with myself for putting myself in this predicament just for a bit of cash and now, of course, I have to pay the price: sitting in a Marriott Courtyard Hotel alone with nothing to do and nowhere to go. It's an airport hotel, there's not really anywhere to walk and if there was, it would probably be too dangerous. Don't forget, I'm in Detroit. 

The depths of depression

They have a pool but I have no swimming gear. There's a gym, but my shorts are packed and I don't possess any trainers, just the business shoes I'm wearing. And the last thing I'm going to do is head on down there in my underpants and shoes, it's a ridiculous look and would remind me of that guy in Grand Theft Auto who seems to be running around half naked for some reason.

What to say about the hotel? Well, it's an airport hotel so I don't expect too much in terms of luxury, but it does offer a fairly decent room and a comfortable bed, but then there's a loud air-con unit that I can't switch off for love nor money. The bathroom is fine and, because everything I own is packed and checked in, I had to buy some more toothpaste and a toothbrush. I took a shower earlier and all that remains is to clean my teeth.

Outside, the roar of jets taking off. Inside the noise of the air-con. Everything else is silence. There are a few people here doing exactly what I'm doing, hanging around waiting for a flight. Why else would anybody stay here? The shuttle leaves for the airport every 30 minutes and sooner or later boredom will get the better of me and I'll check out and get on board.

I'm sitting here drinking Pellegrino mineral water, swigging from the bottle every five minutes or so. I was thinking earlier how big the room is; there are two double beds for a start and I figured that, if you took one of them out, the room would be big enough to be an apartment (with the exception of a kitchen). Not that I'd want to stay here. I'm feeling homesick as it is, and it's at times like these that I realise the importance of having a family. Hold on a second while I go to the bathroom...right, I'm back. What was I saying? Oh yes, family. I miss being home and it's even worse when you consider that not being there right this minute was based on a decision I deliberately took yesterday evening, but let's not fret about that any more, it's happened, an extra night in Detroit has also happened, it's now morning (1021hrs) and I've got to kill time before my flight at 1835hrs. In fact, hold on again while I double check my ticket...yes, that's right, it's 1835 take-off, boarding commences at 1742 and I'm sitting in a window seat, seat 37J. Admittedly there's no leg room like there was on the flight out here, but beggars can't be choosers.

Breakfast at the Courtyard by Marriott...

And there's a moot point. 'Beggars can't be choosers'. Suddenly, through my own doing, I've gained myself 'beggar' status. I'm on a back foot, but at least I've learned a lesson. Money ain't everything. Ok, it helps, and that's why I did this (takes another swig of Pellegrino) but ultimately life isn't a case of 'time is money'. We all have a finite time on this planet of ours and we should be spending it with our loved ones. My plan next week is to take some days off. I need to if I'm honest with myself. I work day-in and day-out and pay little attention to the fact that the weeks go by and I've got to take some annual leave. I think I've only taken one day off so far this year and normally what happens is I end up taking loads of time off in December just before Christmas, which is nice, but we really ought to be having holidays as a family and the plan is to do that this year, go somewhere close-by, like France or Spain, but either way just chill by a pool.

Room 116, Courtyard by Marriott Detroit Airport

I travel a lot in my job as you can probably tell by looking at this blog – check out the column on the right and you'll see all the places I've been to. Talking of yesterday and the flight home that I never took, I remember checking in; it was a hassle (when isn't it?). First there's the auto check-in consoles that never seem to work and then there's the fact that there's nobody around to help. Then there's other people. I hate other people, they're always getting in the way with their massive suitcases and I find myself wondering what the hell are they carrying, sometimes four or five, huge cases being lugged on to the baggage conveyor. There were three people ahead of me in the queue and they each had a big suitcase plus around three to four slightly smaller ones. Why? What the hell is in there? I'm sorry, but it annoys the hell out of me. It's like when I approach a ticket counter – anywhere in the world – and there's somebody there asking a question that seems to be extremely complicated, so much so that the guy behind the glass keeps walking off and consulting the i-ching and voluminous volumes of ancient sanskrit, laying out tarot cards. I don't know, it just bugs me a lot. And then, when finally it's my turn, I say something like "Return to Victoria", they press a few buttons and hey presto! I've got my ticket. Why is it that everybody makes life complicated when they travel?

Mineral water, I need more...

And don't you despise those people who really get into air travel? You know who I mean, they cover themselves in blankets and have one of those stupid L-shaped cushions and can be found walking around in their socks as if they're at home in their living room, they even enjoy being in the middle seat of the middle row. Unlike me. I need a window or the trip is a nightmare. I have to know what's going on outside. I need leg room, which, incidentally, I don't have on my flight tonight. I'm just hoping they'll be an exit seat available, but I'm not counting my chickens. [Takes a swig of Pellegrino].

My problem is I don't like flying long haul (if you can call a flight across the Atlantic 'long haul'). My flight tonight is around seven and a half hours and I can't wait to land at London Heathrow early on Sunday morning. I know how I'm going to feel. I'm going to feel like shit, but at least I'll be home and that's the main thing. Very often on my travels I've had to stay over another night due to flights being cancelled and so on. On this trip, however, it was me who delayed things (see previous post) and now I sit here, in room 116 of the Courtyard by Marriott just outside of Detroit airport and I'm wishing I was home, even if it is a bit grey and cloudy in the UK. Now don't get me wrong. Avid readers (I know I have some!) will recall my general stance on the UK and how much I hate it at this present time, thanks to the incumbent government, but it's where I live and, in that sense, where I want to be.

It's 1050 and there's nothing to do but sit here writing this blogpost. I have just one bottle of mineral water left to drink, I don't need to check out until noon and, for some reason, the final bottle of water (Aquafina – 'perfect water, perfect taste') is not sparkling but still. There's something disappointing about that. I am told to recycle the bottle with the cap on, which is fair enough as I've put the cap back on to both of the empty bottles of Pellegrino.

What to do next I wonder? I could take a walk around the hotel again, head down to where the pool is, or I could go take a look at the rather uninspiring gym or the gas log-effect fireplace in the lobby or even take a walk around the courtyard, the actual courtyard, that I can see from my room. I'm guessing that all Courtyard by Marriott hotels have courtyards, but I can't see anybody out there (excuse me while I open my bottle of still mineral water and take a swig)  – ah! that's better! – the thing I like about mineral water, actually, hold on, I need to use the bathroom, it's all the water I'm drinking...I'm back, but so is that noisy (and cold) air-con fan. Where was I? Oh, the courtyards. Yes, there's nobody out there and all I can see on the balconies of other rooms are vacant metal chairs. Are they made from steel or aluminium I wonder? I'd need a magnet to answer that question and I have one in my case, a fridge magnet. Perhaps I'll check that out and report back later. Perhaps not.

I guess another reason for doing this is my dislike of flying back, especially on a night flight as that means I can't see out, and I like to see out, I like to know what's going on. So – ah, that's good, the air-con fan has shut off, which is good as I've only got a shirt and jeans on – everything else is packed, so when the fan is on I get colder by the second. Now it's off and that's good. Yeah, I mean, I hate the flight back, I've probably already said this and if I have repeated myself then I'm sorry. So I look for ways of putting it off – the flight – but there's no point as sooner or later I've got to do it, fly across the Atlantic to my safe European home. I was wondering what would happen if, when I get there later today, they ask for volunteers to stay behind for another night. No is the answer, I simply couldn't face another night in an airport hotel listening to loud air-con units and roaring jets overhead. Somebody else can live the dream for a change.

The only good thing about tonight's flight is that my bags are already checked in and all I have is hand luggage. Yes, I've still got to go through security, but I don't have to queue, I don't have to use one of those check-in consoles, I just take off my shoes, get the laptop out, get searched and I'm through. I'll bypass the Society of the Spectacle and head straight for somewhere I can read until it's time to board and head home. I'm not going to enjoy any of the flight, I'm going to be awake throughout and I'm going to be counting down the hours as they pass, awaiting that moment when the darkness is replaced by light and I know we're only an hour or so out of Heathrow. But between now and then it's all about killing time. There's roughly 50 minutes before I need to check out of the Courtyard. In the UK it's around 1611hrs on Saturday afternoon. It's going to be nearer 2300hrs (UK time) when I take off from Detroit.

So, here I am, in room 116, listening to the distant – and sometimes not-so-distant – roar of the planes. I'm sipping mineral water, looking out on the lonely courtyard and the dandelions, peering occasionally at the unmade bed behind me and wondering what to do next. The air-con fan is back and that's my cue to visit the bathroom again...hold on. And I promise I won't keep you much longer. I think I've said all that needs to be said...okay, I'm back and there's little more to say. I'm going to clean my teeth, check out and kill time over at the airport, at least over there I'll find shops and hubbub and destinations boards and people milling around just like me waiting to go home.

In Scunthorpe... it's a bit like In Bruges, but not as good...

I wouldn't say Virgin Trains were tasty...

You know what? Jeremy Corbyn is right and I reckon he's there for the man in the street. Alright, if you're Richard fucking Branson, pretending to be the friendly face of capitalism, Corbyn's not for you; for heaven's sake, if Corbyn has his way, the trains will be nationalised and why not? The other day when everybody was having a go at Jezza for his ride on one of Branson's Virgin Trains, I for one, stood up for the Jezzmeister. Why? Because I've experienced exactly what he experienced on Virgin Trains. In fact, it's happened many times. Once I remember taking a Virgin train to Liverpool. It cost me over £200 (and this was a long time ago) and I had to stand all the way.

Today, similar, but let's talk first about the fare. Can you believe that it costs something like £150 to go to Doncaster? It does. I was issued a ticket by a dopey cow on my local station – a Super Off Peak Return – and, later, when I was standing in the aisle of a stationary Virgin train carriage on King's Cross station looking, like Jezza must have, at all the little white tickets sticking out of the seats before me, I knew that I'd be 'doing a Jezza' and sitting on the floor somewhere. Already people were settling in for a long journey on the floor, put it that way.

My ticket cost £90, but it was while aboard the 1535 Glasgow train that I heard the conductor say that Super Off Peak Return tickets were not being accepted – until AFTER 7pm. I couldn't wait that long so I jumped off, at the very last minute, having discovered that it was going to cost me an additional £60. I had to check out whether this was true or not and I was not surprised to discover that it was true. The other day I flew easyJet to Vienna (and back) for £179 and I'm being expected to pay £150 to go to Doncaster. It's beardy's fault. He's so greedy he has to fleece the public. My view: nationalise the railways.

It all got a bit depressing on the Doncaster to Scunthorpe train...

I jumped off through the guard's door, which had yet to be closed. All the other doors had shut automatically and while the guard said I couldn't get off, I did. I then stood around on the concourse for a while and considered my options. Yes, I could sit around in assorted coffee shops for the rest of the day, awaiting the 1903 train that would eventually take me to sunny Doncaster (and then a local train to Scunthorpe) or I could just jump on the 1608 Leeds train, pay the extra money (which was looking inevitable) and get to my destination at a civilised hour. This I did and then I was pleasantly surprised to note that nobody checked my ticket. Yes, they said it would cost me more money over the intercom, but nobody bothered checking so I hopped off at Doncaster having paid an off-peak fare for what I'm guessing was an on-peak journey. Since when has the peak fare period started at 3pm? It's beardy again being greedy.

Not that I was bothered, I'd managed not to give him any extra cash, but then I found myself on Doncaster station faced with a criminal's dilemma. If I boarded (as I was intending to do) the 1830hrs train to Scunthorpe, perhaps the guard would notice that it was not yet 1900hrs and I was travelling with a Super Saver Off Peak Return – don't forget, folks, all I'd asked for when I bought the ticket was a return to Scunthorpe. So I thought I'd play 'the man' at his own game. I'd buy a single to Scunthorpe and not show my ticket from London. No problem. Now all I've got to do is make sure I get on a train to London before 3pm tomorrow afternoon, although I could always hide in the toilet if I see the guard coming my way.

The local train to Scunthorpe weaved its way towards its final destination and I was feeling distinctly depressed. Even up north, I noticed, pubs are being turned into restaurants. My train passed The Shapla, an Indian restaurant in a building that was clearly once a pub close to Thorne South station.

My fellow passengers looked as pissed off as I was, their faces either pensive, apprehensive or fretful. We stopped at Crowle, pronounced 'Croll' and then on toward Althorpe and over the River Trent.

Room 301, Premier Inn, Scunthorpe, UK...

By the time we reached Scunthorpe it was dark. I took a taxi to my hotel and after checking in went straight down for dinner. I found myself in a Beefeater restaurant and, well, it wasn't brilliant. For a start I was alone and bored – not their fault, to be fair – then there was the food, which was the usual pubby grubby affair. I ordered a prawn cocktail, which consisted of about six small prawns on a bed of salad smothered in a Mary Celeste sauce. There was more salad than prawns, but the sauce, oddly enough, made the bland lettuce just about edible. I forced myself to eat the salad out of sheer boredom. Oh, for a newspaper!

For main course, I ordered sea bass, 'gently steamed in a paper pouch' – they couldn't bring themselves to state 'en papillote' –  easily the best dish on the menu, as I felt there was no way it could be mass-produced. I supposed they might have employed cloning, who knows? But it was a fish and I figured it had to be just that, an individual fish. Everything else, almost everything else, might well have been manufactured in Basingstoke and shipped around Beefeater's national estate in frozen food lorries.

A glass of red wine and a bottle of still mineral water...

I ordered a large glass of red wine (Campo Viejo Tempranillo Rioja) and a small bottle of still mineral water and spent the entire meal time messing around with my phone. There was little else to do, other than people watch, but with some of the clientele, including the waitress, sporting tattoos, I thought it best not to stare too much. Perhaps they should ban people with visible tattoos from restaurants, that's what they were discussing on LBC the other day. Stick them outside with the smokers and 'vapers' and those with body piercings. Vaping is even worse than smoking in my opinion, that awful sweet stench exhaled from people's mouths is enough to make any sane person vomit. Mind you, I'm amazed that Branson hasn't cashed in on it.

In the end boredom beat me so I skipped dessert and asked for the bill. That said, why would I even dream of having dessert? Everything seemed incredibly unhealthy: not just a nice apple crumble and custard, which I would have ordered, but a "Salted Toffee Apple Crumble". How awful! Or a warm chocolate brownie or a baked cheesecake or a Banoffee Pie, a Mississippi Mud Pie, a Trio of Sponges (not just one, but a trio), Black Forest Gateau and, one nod towards healthy eating, a fruit salad with lemon curd sorbet. And let's not forget the range of heart-stopping sundaes. 'Nil by mouth' I thought as I waltzed back to my room. Alright, I skulked back.

View from Room 301, Premier Inn Scunthorpe.

Now I'm in my rather dreary hotel room, with its purple curtains, its 'tea and coffee-making facilities' – but no biscuits – and it's unruly coathangers, not forgetting the black Samsung television, the cheesy hotel art and the extra pillow stuffed at the top of the 'wardrobe' without doors. I almost forgot the bible 'placed by the Gideons' no doubt. I would love to enter a hotel room and catch a Gideon in the act of placing a bible in the bedside cabinet. Equally, it might be a worthy excuse for a criminal if caught in the act of trying to steal valuables from hotel guests.

"Oi! Who are you?"
"Me? Why, I'm a Gideon and I've just placed a bible in your bedside cabinet."
"Yeah, right! I'm calling the police."
"God bless you, son."

At least there's WiFi, but I can't be bothered with it, I'm THAT bored!

I'm looking forward to breakfast, though, as I know that this particular hotel chain excels with the most important meal of the day. I think the best Premier Inns are the ones not attached to a Whitbread pub brand. I prefer an integral restaurant, which, like most hotels, doubles as the breakfast room in the morning. Tomorrow morning, however, I'll have to nip outside, cross the road and make my way around to the Beefeater before I'll see any Coco Pops or buttered toast.

It goes without saying that there's no minibar here – perhaps they don't trust their guests – and, worse still, I can't really go for a walk as there's nowhere to go. The hotel is part of a complex of garages, fast food joints, a Morrisons supermarket and residential housing. Yes, housing, it's like being in the middle of a northern housing estate. No quaint little squares, no shop windows, nothing of merit, and the last thing I want is to be accosted by a tattooed, hooded 'youth' with a knife asking me for money, which I don't have. It happens, believe me.

So it's a night in front of the box, perhaps a bit of reading and then a bit of shut-eye. I'm reading Ken Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a great book, it has to be said.