In Tokyo... Day Four and Five – A few ramblings

Do you ever get those days when you stop and think about the most mundane aspects of life and find them incredible? Big questions about the meaning of life take second place to thoughts about bananas. I found myself sitting in a Starbucks for breakfast – one banana and a mint tea – thinking about the fact that I was on the other side of the world (compared to where I normally reside) wide awake while most of those living in the UK were fast asleep and what's more, I was eating a banana. I eat bananas in the UK too, but here I am eating one in Tokyo. Now I know it's really no mystery how bananas get around (by ship mostly, I'd imagine) but I suppose it's amazing that wherever you travel, however far away from home you are, you can still get a reasonably good banana – and find a decent Starbucks too. Perhaps it's not good, it's bad. The fact that here in Tokyo you will find all the big brand names (Apple, Zara, Gucci, they're all here, even Stella McCartney, and let's not forget McDonald's and Subway) is testament to the success of something we're all now starting to reject: globalisation. In all honesty, if globalisation means flying for hours on end and still running up against a Claires Accessories, then I don't want it either. Although, that said, when it comes to eating out in Tokyo, there are plenty of local, Japanese restaurants. Today, however, I did find a Hard Rock Café and a Tony Roma's. I ate in the former and I can't say I've ever enjoyed ribs, they're insubstantial and they make your hands sticky.

The streets of Tokyo on Thursday afernoon...

Back home, a lot of our bananas come from the Windward Islands in the Caribbean, which normally means St. Lucia, but where the Japanese bananas originate I don't know and, quite frankly, I don't care. I'd say the fact that bananas exist in Japan is amazing if it were true, but it isn't amazing at all; they were probably brought over on a container ship.

I'm sitting in Starbucks for a reason: I wanted a mint tea and something decent for breakfast instead of that slice of toast and a milky tea from Precious Coffee Moments. Although, in retrospect, that toast would have been most welcomed, but Starbucks don't serve toast. I miss Precious Coffee Moments, but hell, it's my day off, I'm not here for a rushed breakfast before heading into a conference hall, I'm getting ready to go check out a meeting venue for tomorrow, just so that I can be there on time. But more of that later. In a nutshell, I thought I'd take it easy, chill out, take a relaxed look around town, check out the shops and then visit some of Tokyo's sights (if there are any).

Today was the first day that I felt sort of ok. All week I've been waking up in the dead of night or simply not sleeping at all thanks to jet lag. But this morning and, indeed, last night, I got a decent night's sleep and not the usual broken up affair. The trouble with acclimatising is that there's no point, it's soon time to head back home and suffer all over again. I can't say I'm looking forward to the return flight. I wasn't too keen on the outbound flight and now I've got to repeat it all again. Still, it'll be good to get back to the UK and hail a racist taxi driver to take me home. In fact, talking of racist taxi drivers, I've given up taxis for that reason alone. I don't want to sit and listen to some idiot going on and on about immigration and Brexit. As Stewart Lee said, not all Brexiteers are racists – some of them are cunts.

Hard Rock Café in Tokyo...

When I get back home I'll have to restart my exercise programme (cycling and walking) and try and stop eating cakes and biscuits. I've given up drinking, so I'm darn sure I can sort out a few cakes. I've also got to repeat my old habit of eating well, certainly enjoying a good breakfast in the morning. For the past five or six days it's been toast and tea, so everything's gone out of the window in terms of the 'usual routine'. My multi-seed porridge and blueberries for breakfast are but a distance memory at the moment; and last night, after a relatively healthy day food wise, I went and ruined it by discovering that Tokyo has a Hard Rock Café. It started off well with Atlantic salmon, mashed potatoes, carrots and brocolli, but took a nose dive when I ordered the apple cobbler, smothered as it was in a caramel sauce and garnished with a blob of ice cream. Afterwards I found a Starbucks where I purchased a large mint tea and sipped it slowly while deep in thought about God knows what. For some reason, I felt that the mint tea would cure me of whatever ailment that apple cobbler might have given me.

I fly home tomorrow (Saturday 1255hrs) and, as I just said, I'm not looking forward to it. Twelve, possibly thirteen, hours on a plane: that's a meal and three movies and then around three hours of twiddling my thumbs. Let's just say I hate it. Fortunately, I've got an exit row, like on the outward journey, which means more leg room, but these days, when I have to fly for more than a couple hours, I start to get irritated about not being allowed to fly business class. It's a boring old saga so I won't bore you with it, not now at any rate, but suffice it to say that I'd like to get a decent sleep, but I end up not sleeping at all and when I get off the other end I feel like shit. Let's not go there, it's miles too boring.

A hearty meal in Hard Rock Café...

It's getting a little confusing. Yesterday (Thursday) I sat in a Starbucks with a mint tea and a banana twice: the first time was in the morning prior to a day of checking out the city of Tokyo, first a mission to Osaki to check out where my meeting was to be held on Friday (that's today) and then I found myself in the same Starbucks last thing at night, again with a mint tea and a banana, but this time it was something to do with that awfully unhealthy dessert I'd eaten in the Hard Rock. As I sat in the Starbucks yesterday morning, I felt bad about not being in Precious Coffee Moments where, ironically, I drink tea. The reason I went there for breakfast was to move away from the milky tea and toast breakfast and eat something a little healthier, hence the banana.

On Wednesday night, talking of unhealthy eating, I found a pizza restaurant that fitted the bill of what I was looking for: it wasn't a noodle bar, there wasn't any photographs of the food outside and it was more like the sort of place you get back home – there was music, a pleasant vibe and I could relax a little, which I did. There's nothing worse than trawling the streets looking for something to eat (I do this all the time, it doesn't matter what country). The truth is I don't really know what I'm looking for, or rather I do know, but finding it is the problem. I normally look for somewhere to chill out and relax. And here in Japan it's avoiding the places with the photographs of the food and places where there's somebody standing outside cajoling passers-by to come inside. Prior to finding the pizza restaurant I'd peered through many windows hoping to find the right place, but everywhere fell short of my requirements. I was looking for ambience mainly and a place that looked like it might offer decent food and service. I don't want somewhere too crowded and noisy or too cramped, I certainly don't want photographs of the food and I won't tolerate anywhere that's too dark. I want to be able to see what I'm eating.

Sadly, all the big brands are in Tokyo...

The street on which the pizza restaurant resided looked promising. It veered off from the main street at an angle. It was dark and illuminated here and there by lanterns. It had a certain inviting nature about it, so I took a chance and strolled past small noodle bars, slightly more inviting than those on the main drag, and right at the end of the street I found the pizza place. I knew it was going to be good and took a seat at the bar, but not 'the bar' – there wasn't any optics staring at me, no upturned bottles of whisky or rum, just an exposed kitchen, masses of stainless steel, an espresso machine and pizza chefs busily working on customers' orders – although being mid-week, it wasn't that busy. It was a Wednesday night and there was only a handful of customers. I ordered half portions of two different pizzas (based on the theory that variety is the spice of life) plus a couple of non-alcohol beers (Suntory appears to be the favourite here in Tokyo. It's really good and while I've considered taking some home with me, in retrospect, I think it would be a bad idea. Nothing's THAT good). Making a decent non-alcoholic beer is an art form that the brewers have yet to perfect, but Suntory comes pretty close and, it seems, have cornered the market here in Tokyo. It was only in the Hard Rock Café that they didn't sell it (I was offered a Kirin instead).

At the pizza joint, I made small talk with one of the guys working behind the servery area. He told me he owns a Harley Davidson 883 Hugger, my dream bike, but he wants to own a Triumph (why, I don't know, but he seemed to like all things British: Jaguar, Range Rover and so on). He studied politics at university, managed to get a good job in television, but quit to return to the pizza restaurant because he couldn't hack sitting behind a computer screen all day. He now intends to make a career out of being a restaurateur of some description, much to the initial dismay of his mum who, he said, remained silent about his decision for many days before finally being comfortable with her son's plans. But I'd imagine she was concerned for his future welfare (aren't all parents carrying around that mindset?).

Personally, I always feel envious of people capable of making such a drastic decision and sticking with it, having the courage of their convictions. I would have stayed at the television job and would have certainly taken my parents' advice. I can hear my dad now advising me to stay put and not to be so silly as to think I'd have a future in the restaurant industry. I would have been grateful to have been offered the TV job in the first place, I certainly wouldn't be jacking it in to work in a pizza restaurant. But that's me. I wish I had those sort of 'guts', the guts of a gambling man, the guts of somebody with bags of self confidence. I'm always firmly of the opinion that whatever decision I take, it will be the wrong one. Not that working in the hospitality industry is a walk in the park; it's hard work and long hours for very low pay and in the UK it is often regarded as a subservient profession. That's why the Brits prefer to leave it to migrant workers who regard the low pay as alright, although now we have Brexit, let's see if those Brexiteers who moaned at the migrants for taking their jobs are willing to roll up their sleeves at McDonald's and start cleaning the fryers at the end of a long shift.

Osaki – a kind of posh version of London Docklands

Technically – although there's nothing technical about it – Thursday was a day off. I'd tried to get on a plant visit, which would have taken up the entire day, but had been unsuccessful, so the day was mine. I did need to see how easy (or otherwise) it would be for me to reach the offices of a big company I was visiting on Friday, so I set off early, first for breakfast in a Starbuck's (the aforementioned mint tea and banana) and then I explored a bit of the city. I started off at Roppongi underground station, travelled a couple of stops to Ebisu and then switched to the JR line, which is not part of the metro system, more a kind of Overground train the runs in a circle around the city, meaning I had to pay separately. It was a couple of stops, possibly three, to Osaki, which was a bit like Docklands, but slightly more exclusive, and I made my way to the building I needed to locate. It was easy: an 11-minute walk from Osaki station, so that was dry run sorted, so to speak, now all that remained was the real thing on Friday.

Later, I resisted the temptation to eat Chinese in Osaki and instead pushed on to a place called Shibiya where I found an Indonesian restaurant for lunch. After what was an enjoyable meal of chicken curry with rice and a small cake for dessert, not forgetting a non-alcohol Suntory beer, I headed back to the station and stopped off at two guitar shops, one selling Fender Stratocasters and the other specialising in bass guitars. I was there for all of five minutes before pushing on further to Shinjuki, Tokyo's answer to Oxford Street. I checked out a few stores with no intention of buying anything and when I got back to my hotel I discovered that there was a Hard Rock Café close by and headed in the general direction. It would be good to have something a little wholesome, so once seated I chose Atlantic salmon with mashed potato, greens and carrots – that was the good bit, the bad bit was the dessert of apple cobbler, which might have been fine if it hadn't been drenched in caramel sauce. A little custard would have sufficed, but no, this was just awful. I say awful, I finished the lot, it was very tasty, but it was awful in the sense of not being very healthy. I might have given up drinking, but I've got to give up cakes and sweet things too.

In Nashville, Day Four...*

There's a lot of raised voices outside of my room and it's 0520hrs. A woman and a man are raising their voices at each other – arguing in other words – and it can only be a matter of time before somebody from the hotel management arrives or somebody opens their door. I think the kerfuffle (that's a good word) is coming from next door, room 508.

Woman's voice: "My God, get you're shit together!" There was much more, but I can't remember what. At one stage I heard the woman use the word 'abnormal' and the man seemingly protesting or justifying whatever it was that she thought wasn't right.

Now it's gone quiet, perhaps somebody has had a word. My room and next door's are linked by a door that is obviously locked, but I'm always slightly uneasy about internal doors into other people's rooms. Earlier, resting my ear on the door I thought I'd better keep away in case one of them attempted to shoot the other and the bullet flew through the door and hit me. I'm making a sweeping generalisation here that all Americans are gun-toting maniacs who can't have an argument without shooting at one another.

The last time I eavesdropped on an argument between a man and a woman in a hotel room was in Pittsburgh at the Quality Inn, but I can't remember the gist of whatever row they were having.

The interstate

We're back to silence and birdsong, which has been pronounced over here. It's now 0526 and its brightening up outside. I can hear the distant roar of the interstate, or perhaps its the aircon. The interstate is a shortish walk from the hotel, possibly 10 minutes, but I'm thinking now that it's the aircon, although I might be wrong.

It's Wednesday and I'm up early because I went to bed early. Since Monday it's been work during the day, an early dinner with a colleague and then we part company, around 1930hrs. I walk back to my hotel, it takes 20 minutes along Demonbreun, which is pronounced De-mon-breun and not Demon brewin' as I was saying until somebody who lives here corrected me. Once in my room and with no urge to go back out again and nothing much going on in the hotel I simply jump into bed and fall asleep, waking once or twice during the night but then rising around 0500hrs.

What to say about Nashville? Well, you won't be surprised to hear that I like it (I like everywhere I go). There are high-rise buildings here, of course there are, but not as many as Portland or Cleveland or Indianapolis, but the downtown is growing, hotels are going up and so are office buildings, probably much to the dismay of the locals, but then I guess that high-rises and hotels bring in money and generate wealth and that should, by rights, benefit everybody. There's a large Marriott going up next to the Westin, there's already a Sheraton, a Hilton, an Omni, all the big brands are here, and they're being fuelled by a huge and impressive convention centre where I'm spending all of my days while here in the city.

I've been told it's a pretty safe place, although it's probably not safe for women walking around alone at night, but that's pretty much the same as in the UK. I've seen the odd down-and-out, but so far, that's about it; although, oddly, yesterday morning, my mobile phone sent through an 'amber alert' alerting me and millions of other mobile users in the city to a paranoid schizophrenic who had broken into his girlfriend's apartment and stolen her baby. I'm not sure on the latest, but I found it odd that my mobile received the message. I went down to breakfast and there on the television was the same words that had appeared on my phone, "Amber Alert" along with photos of the abducted baby and the madman.

While the madman and the baby is the local news, the big national story is Donald Trump's sacking of FBI director Comey, the man heading an investigation into the Trump administration's links with Russia. Odd that the man running the investigation into Trump has been sacked by Trump, but I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions, although, if it wasn't politics but gangland, I'd imagine Comey would have been bumped off.

Jackelope Bearwalker, 6% abv at the Omni

On the food front I can't say I'm impressed as it's all kettle chips with burgers and beer. I'm generalising, but there seems to be two extremes: either you go to places like the Hard Rock Café where there are lots of burger-type meals accompanied by fries or 'chips' – the terminology can be confusing, but basically if 'chips' are offered you're going to get crisps and that appears to be the common culinary currency here. The other extreme is places like the Palm, where we went yesterday evening and realised pretty quickly that it was 'posh'. Posh but still a little brash. It was a haunt of 'celebrities' which over here means film stars like Mel Gibson. The reason I mention Mel is because his is the first face I see – drawn on the wall, in colour, by a cartoonist and placed alongside many others. There are, of course, prices to match and a certain pushiness on behalf of the waiting staff. I'll give you two examples: first, the wine waiter (yes, there's a separate waiter for the drinks). I order a Cabernet, mainly because I'm not a great fan of the beer over here, but I'm not at all happy at the prices. Put it this way, two glasses of wine cost more than the food I ordered. Now that's not on for a start, but what I found irksome was the Ned Beatty lookalike waiter's assumption that I'd ordered a 9oz glass. I hadn't. In fact I hadn't said either way, but the prices were high so I was going for the 6oz. He came back with a smaller carafe and slung the contents into my awaiting glass.

I ordered linguine with clams – the bias here was steaks. There were bread rolls and some horrible-tasting iced tap water. My bill, without the tip, was almost $74. Never again, put it that way, as most of my 'potato chip and burger' meals have cost far less.

The waitress who took our food order was annoying too. She insisted on bellowing out the desserts rather than hand us both a menu. It was the usual fayre but at vastly inflated prices: Key Lime Pie, loads of chocolate-based desserts and, of course, cheesecake. We declined them all, paid up and left.

I moseyed on back to my hotel in the evening heat. It was still light as I made my way along Demonbreun and stopping off en route at Del Frisco's Grille just to check it out. It's close-by the hotel, meaning I don't have the 20-minute walk and can simply finish work, come back to the hotel and then go out later – I'll be alone from tonight as my colleague flies home. I stick around for the plant trips on Thursday.

Actually, I say that Del Frisco's is closer to the hotel in which I'm staying (1201 Demonbreun, I'm at 1407) but it's still on the other side of the interstate, although I'm guessing no more than 10 minutes. The prices look more reasonable too; put it this way, I could have two entreés for the price of one small glass of wine at The Palm.

So, it's 0622hrs, the sun is out, all is still, the skies are blue and I can hear the sound of a helicopter. I'd better get ready for breakfast and a catch-up on what's been happening with the schizo and the baby and, of course, the latest on Trump. Amazing how the two are mentioned in the same sentence.

* The reason there's no Day Three is simple: nothing much of any interest happened.

I write a lot of hotel and restaurant reviews on Trip Advisor, which can be read by clicking here.

In Nice...

If I was the Camp Tramp I think I'd take advantage of the UK's membership of the European Union and move to Nice, certainly for the summer months, but only if I could still rely upon my British benefits. Yesterday I took a walk along the Promenade des Anglais. It was a cool and crisp day and the palm trees swayed gently in the breeze. The sea was blue, but I'm guessing it was very cold.

My thoughts exactly...

As the day progressed so did the weather. It was certainly much warmer than it was in the UK, but that was only to be expected considering how much further south I found myself. That said, the South of France gets a little chilly during the winter months. On Thursday night, for example, it was rainy and blustery and wet and a colleague and I took shelter in, of all places, a McDonald's. I rarely eat in McDonald's, but having only had a small chicken and bacon roll and a Mocha Iced Bun for lunch on the plane, I was in need of sustenance. A Chicken McTasty sort of did the trick, but I regretted it the moment it arrived.

Yesterday morning I walked with the same colleague to the eastern end of the bay where old people braved the wintry seas to take a dip. Apparently it does you good and to be fair to one old geezer, who we saw towelling himself dry after a bracing swim, he looked in pretty good shape. The sea was in good form too. Despite the fact that it was January, it was still blue – not the tea-with-milk-colour that characterises Britain's south coastal waters.

Up among the rocks we spotted some kind of 'camp'. Nothing major (nothing like the Calais 'jungle' – just a sleeping bag and a few blankets) and that was when I thought of the Camp Tramp. Why sit on a freezing cold Brighton beach drinking Stellas when you can do the same thing on a slightly warmer beach in Nice? Perhaps when I next see him, I'll suggest it, although I don't think the Camp Tramp is sleeping rough. I don't even think he's a tramp, just a wayward individual with a drink problem and some mental health issues. Perhaps I ought to give him a wide berth.

Looking west from the eastern end of Promenade des Anglais

While away I heard that Alan Rickman had passed away. He died aged 69 of cancer. Rickman played Severin Snape in the Harry Potter movies and he was the third well-known person from the world of entertainment (I wouldn't describe any of them as 'celebrities') to die over the last fortnight, the other two being David Bowie, also 69, and Lemmy Kilmister, who had just turned 70. All three died of cancer.

Watching those old people braving the cold seas and trying, perhaps, to hold back the years – why else would they do it, certainly not for their own entertainment – I found myself wondering whether there's any point in such behaviour. When the Grim Reaper calls, he calls, and there's nothing anybody can do about it. And then I had a frightening thought: what if you could see the Grim Reaper, perhaps walking on the beach in your direction, possibly even coming for you. Imagine the horror if you dived into a café in an attempt at losing him, only to look up moments later and see him looking straight at you through the window.

View of Nice from the Meridien Hotel's terrace....

I had a day to kill in Nice and I spent most of it wandering the streets, enjoying the view (and a cappuccino) on the roof terrace of the Meridien hotel and then lunch in Le West-End hotel, where I had spent the night. A light linguini with asparagus and a glass of Bordeaux and then another walk along the sea front that was interrupted when I passed the Hard Rock Café and found a group of work colleagues enjoying the winter sunshine and some nachos. After a glass of red wine we headed towards the main shopping area and then, after a cappuccino, we walked back to the beach where some more colleagues, wrapped up warm against the cool weather, looked out to sea and sipped pints of beer served up at a beach bar.

Room 626, Le West-End Hotel, Nice...

It was soon time for me to head to the airport and a flight to Heathrow. I took the 98 bus for six Euros rather than spend 40 Euros on a taxi and soon I was at Terminal One awaiting the 2030hrs British Airways flight home. En route I enjoyed another chicken and bacon roll and another Mocha Iced Bun. The latter was wonderful and I was tempted to ask for another one, but it would have proved slightly awkward. The French woman sitting in the aisle seat next to me had ordered a salad and a roll and bun contained in a box, but while she had eaten the salad, the roll and bun remained untouched. I feared that by asking for one more – and possibly being told that there were no more left – that she would feel obliged to offer me hers. I would, of course, refuse, but I didn't want the awkwardness so I kept my mouth shut. Another roll and bun would have made the two mini bottles of red wine I had ordered just that little bit more enjoyable.

View from room 626, Le West-End Hotel, Nice...

Once on the ground, pleasantries were exchanged between myself and those of my colleagues who had opted for the BA flight to Heathrow – the rest returned to Gatwick. I took the tube to South Kensington. On the train were two people who made me smile. First a rather rotund, bald-headed gentleman with an iPad who might have stepped out of a Dickens novel. In a jovial manner he engaged in conversation with a foreigner, somebody, no doubt, who had just arrived in the UK. I couldn't hear the conversation over the clatter of the train as it raced through the dark tunnels, but they laughed and joked like old friends, catching the attention of other, equally intrigued passengers, and that made me smile.

Nice-looking crepes, but I resisted the temptation...

Next up was a younger man with a beard who jumped on board at Baron's Court with a small bottle of vodka in one hand and a similarly-sized plastic bottle of Coke in the other. I watched as he topped up the three quarters full bottle of Coke with vodka. "Don't judge me," he said, and we both laughed.

It was so cold when I changed trains at South Kensington that I opened up my suitcase, took out a woolly jumper and put it on. I was on a late train bound for East Grinstead, but I alighted at Sanderstead and then walked home along the alleys, dragging my suitcase on wheels behind me; it made such a noise I must have disturbed the neighbours who, at around 1130hrs, must have been settling down the for night.