Notes from Udine Stazione, 31 October 2025...

It’s 0946 and I am sitting in a fairly crowded cafeteria. Already I have eaten an almond croissant and a mushroom pizza for breakfast and I’m now tucking in to a filled pastry of some sort; I think it’s an apple pie. Last night, and no more than 500 yards from where I now sit, I was tucking in to a variation on a cheese and ham sandwich and by and large my diet has been this way ever since I arrived, ever since I set foot on Italian soil. So much for the Mediterranean Diet! Somewhere, someone has decreed, 'let them eat cake'.

I’ve spent the last three nights in the Quo Vadis hotel, a good 15 minute walk from here and, while it was clean, that was its only redeeming feature. Everything else was rubbish so let’s start with the WiFi, it was non-existent. It ‘worked’  to a degree but not enough for me to use my computer, it was extremely slow. So slow it rendered everything pointless, everything, that is, to do with my computer, which I haven’t used since I got here. I might as well have left it at home and saved the energy of humping it here, there and everywhere.

Then there was the shower which, again, worked, but was little more than a dribble. I would have preferred a more powerful shower, put it that way. However, by far the most annoying aspect of the hotel was the lighting, which was on an energy-saving timer switch. I first realised this when I checked in and asked whether I could use the bathroom, it was virtually next door to the front desk (not always ideal). In I went, dying to go after drinking a bottle of Pellegrino on the train from Milano (see previous post). While mid-pee I was plunged into darkness and had to shake a leg (literally) in order to restore the light. It was something I would have to get used to as the entire hotel was using the same system. My room, room 31, was not in the main hotel, but in a spooky annexe across the road. There was a wrought iron gate that required a key card to gain entry; once through the gate, a small courtyard leading to another set of wrought iron doors and once through those doors there was blackness. I could see nothing until I danced a jig and the lights came on. Perhaps that was the idea, they had secret infrared cameras filming the jigs of different guests and sat down over Christmas to view them. I then humped my suitcase up the solid stone steps and halfway up the lights went out and I was plunged once again into darkness. I had to dance once more, not a strong point I must add, and the light returned.

Throughout my stay at the hotel and without a suitcase to hump around I managed to get from downstairs to my hotel room door before the lights went out, but it was very, very annoying, even if it did add a little excitement to my daily routine.

When I went across the road to the main hotel building, I was even more disappointed. Three-star hotel, three-star breakfast I was thinking as I surveyed the cakes and pastries and the tinned fruit and realised that I had three days of this. Three days of sub-standard breakfasts consisting largely of, yes, you guessed it, cake.

Reluctantly I tucked in, but I resolved to find somewhere else for the most important meal of the day. What I found was better in terms of its surroundings and atmosphere, but the food was the same and this time included the aforementioned pizza and countless varieties of Lindor chocolates. This morning’s meal was my second at the bakery and now here I am at Udine railway station awaiting the 1125 train to Milan after a pizza, an almond croissant plus tea plus a filled pastry which, as I’ve said, I think was apple. I like apple pie but on this trip the amount of cakes and biscuits I've consumed is just too much to bear especially for me as I’m extremely weak-willed when it comes to cake, as avid readers will know.

I am awaiting the 1123 train from Udine to Milano Central which departs in about one hour from now and when I reach Milan I will take the train to Malpensa and fly home to London.

The Quo Vadis had its faults it was at least clean, spotless in fact, but I wouldn’t stay there again because of its location. Yes, only around 15 minutes on foot from the train station, but in a dreary part of town. I went to bed early on most nights and that was fine but only because I was travelling alone and it can be just that…very lonely, making hitting the sack the best option. Last night I watched a couple of episodes of Only Fools and Horses and then turned in for the night with only my thoughts to keep me company. For some reason I started to imagine myself as a guest on the Graham Norton show, entertaining film stars with comedic tales and observations. You might think I would remember my dreams, but I don’t think I had any to remember.

And now I’m sitting here watching fellow travellers go about their business, the clatter of crockery, the gurgling espresso machine and the radio blaring out rubbishy pop songs that I don't recognise.

I notice it is possible to buy the station café’s merchandise in the shape of a tee-shirt with the words Il Caffee della Stazione written on the front and an illustration of a train below. These, I figure, are the best kind of merch because it’s unlikely you’re going to find anybody else wearing it and that excited me! I’ll buy one, I must buy one!

But then, on closer inspection and without the reading glasses on, they're not tee-shirts at all, they are, in fact, paper bags in which to put cakes and pastries to take home. How disappointing. It's time I made my way to Platform 6 to board the train to Milano.