In Linz...

Well, first I had to fly to Vienna, which was fine. I was, as always, mildly apprehensive, but once through a thin band of cloud there were blue skies all the way and, fortunately, I had a window seat so I simply stared out for the entire flight, stopping briefly to eat a Twix and drink some tea and then finishing off (at last) the rather lightweight Satsuma Complex by Bob Mortimer, which had been bugging me for weeks. I didn't really like it because the lead character, Gary, was definitely him and the whole book was like listening to Mortimer being Mortimer and I'll admit that it started to grate on me. Him talking to a squirrel was a little irritating too as was everything about it, it was just low rent in my opinion and I found it hard to believe that it was 'an international bestseller'. I'd imagine people bought it on the strength of if being a book by Bob Mortimer and they probably guffawed and tittered at every Bob Mortimerism they stumbled across – there were many – and to be totally honest, I hated them, every single one of them. I'd been getting slowly fed up with Mortimer ever since I realised that his Gone Fishing programme with Paul Whitehouse was nothing but talking about serious illness and getting old, two of my least favourite subjects. Anyway, I turned the last page and placed the book back on the small tray-sized table whilst on my Austrian Airlines flight to Vienna and sighed a huge sigh of relief: now I can read something different, something decent, like Willy Vlautin's The Horse, a book I found in Waterstone's in Guildford a few weeks ago. Vlautin is far, far a better writer and within a few lines I was hooked. I've read all of Vlautin's output, starting with Northline back in 2010 or possibly a year earlier, I can't recall, and then I read everything he'd written and waited for the next one to come along. And now it has, The Horse, his second story about a horse, the first one being Lean On Pete. The Motel Life and Lean on Pete have both been made into movies.

Linz, around 1630hrs on Thursday 31st October 2024.

Whilst on the ground at London Heathrow's Terminal 2, the queues for security were long and it was all because people were ignoring the advice offered them: no liquids in luggage. But no matter how many times people were told, they simply weren't listening. One stupid stupid woman got all the way to the scanner and still thought she'd get away with two slender cans of some kind of shit, she just didn't get it, and I'd already seen another idiot try to hide a bottle of aftershave in one of his cases but he owned up as he reached the scanner. I was planning on shopping him as I simply can't stand stupid, ignorant people. I hate them and they're everywhere.

Down by the river in Linz, Thursday 31 October 2024.

When we landed I went straight to reclaim belt 8 and waited a few minutes for my suitcase and then I sailed through customs and decided that I ought to eat a decent meal, so I stopped at Wolfgang Puck's, I've never tried his restaurants before, and ordered a traditional Italian meat sauce and pasta dish along with a no-alcohol beer, it wasn't too pricey and I didn't bother with dessert or a starter or a coffee afterwards as I had a train to catch. It takes around two hours to reach Linz and the journey was chilled as I sat there reading The Horse and sipping on a mug of tea that had been offered. Mind you, I hate being offered something and then later I spy them preparing the receipt. You get nothing for nothing.

A steelworks on the outskirts of the city

I took a cab to my hotel, the Leonardo Boutique Hotel in the City Centre and I immediately realised that I'd stayed here before when it was called something else. It was okay, but as soon as I'd checked in and was given my keycard I sensed problems and I was right. The key card simply didn't work so I had to trampse all the way back down to the ground floor to get another one. Another thing that really annoys me about some hotels (including this one) was when I realised the lift wouldn't work unless I scanned my keycard. The door shut and the lift remained stationary until I remembered. Again, very annoying.

The room (when I eventually got there) was pleasant and roomy. There was, of course, a bathroom, the shower working perfectly (but no bath tub, not that I use bath tubs anymore); the bed was comfortable and I couldn't really have asked for more. What did annoy me was the glass door to the bathroom as that meant that I couldn't leave the light on in the bathroom (I like a bit of light when I sleep away from home). So I had to sleep in virtual darkness, which I got used to, but that was later on, first I needed some dinner and found a place called Glorious Bastards. How corny it was, like some contrived and falsely upbeat diner from the early eighties with a horribly quirky 'menu' and a load of so-called trendy types as waiting staff. I asked for a menu and he pointed to a piece of wood with a QR code. I had to scan it on my iphone and read the menu on the phone. One day I'm going to ditch my iphone for a Nokia 3310 and then they'll have to give me a proper menu. I found having to scan a QR code a bit of a cheek. I can't stand it when I have to do the job of the waiter or the airline or the supermarket, especially when the prices haven't come down to compensate, but I persevered and all was well. I ordered a chicken burger with chips and it wasn't long before it arrived. In fact, it was fairly pleasant and was washed down with a no-alcohol beer. I was, it has to be said, feeling a little bit depressed and stressed as I had a big presentation to be getting on with the following day in front of a crowd of 200 people. 

I walked home to the hotel (all of 10 minutes) and then had a shower and a shave and hit the sack. I awoke a couple of times during the night, but all was fine and soon it was time to get up, have breakfast and head off in a taxi to the outskirts of town to strut my stuff. The hotel breakfast was fine, it did the trick, but I didn't go over the top, no scrambled egg and white sausage for me, instead I have a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea (I think I had two) and then ordered a cab from reception.

The day was spent working and fretting a little bit (about my panel discussion, which in the end went very well) and chatting and being me in front of many people, but it all went swimmingly and soon it was time to get a cab home and await the event's gala dinner at 2000hrs, which proved to be a great success with some decent company and excellent food. I walked home as the restaurant was only 10 minutes (if that) from my hotel and then I hit the sack again, setting my alarm for 0600hrs as the conference I was attending started at 0800hrs (another longish day ahead). But soon it was all over and a waiting game of sorts ensued. Waiting, that is, to go home, which I will do tomorrow, but first I need to catch a train to Vienna so tomorrow will be a day of travelling.

View from room 412, Leonardo Boutique Hotel, City Centre.

When I reached my room, around 1600hrs, the room hadn't been tidied up by the maids and as I entered I told one of them I would be 10 minutes, then I quickly changed out of the suit I was wearing and headed out for a walk around town, where, I noticed, virtually every shop was a women's underwear retailer: Intimissimo, Triumph, 'Linzerie' (geddit?) and other brands I can't remember. I walked to the river and took a photograph and then dived into a pharmacy to buy some refreshing mouthwash, which set me back 19 Euros. That was a bit pricey, I thought, but I wanted it so I have it and I feel refreshed and ripped off at the same time. Or rather my mouth feels refreshed.

Later, I encountered some stupid people, this time in a coffee shop I'd been to before, the last time I was here, in 2023 or maybe 2022. I ordered English Breakfast but was given Earl Grey, I asked for milk and got an empty jug and I asked if there were power points to charge my phone and the woman behind the counter told me they didn't have any. Fat lot of good they were! I looked around, checked out a bike shop I remembered from my last trip here (it was closed) and then headed back to the hotel and here I am now wondering whether I even want to go out for dinner tonight and, if I do go, where I should go? Who knows? I'll think about it later. I must say that I prefer travelling with somebody rather than alone as it's much nicer dining with somebody rather than sitting there alone like Billy No Mates.

Room 412, Leonardo Boutique Hotel, Linz, 31st October 2024.

Right now I sit alone at my hotel room desk writing this blogpost. Everything is quiet and it's dark outside at 1745hrs. I will have dinner, when I don't know, but right now I can't be bothered to go out. 

There's a huge flat screen television in front of me over the desk, but I can't be bothered to watch it as most of the channels are dubbed over in German and the only English channels are the BBC, but it's not the normal Beeb, and also CNN, which I really can't stomach at the moment. I'm bored now and I'm too tired to do any work and besides, it's almost 1800hrs so I can officially down tools, which has been the case since 1600hrs. Tomorrow I can lie in, have a later breakfast, check out train times to Vienna and start packing up. I'd much prefer a train journey home, but unfortunately I've got to fly, but hey ho. At least I can have a leisurely breakfast.

Earlier, as I walked around Linz, I thought that a particular part of town was familiar to me; at the time I was in a cab en route to the Leonardo and I wracked my brain until I remembered that it wasn't Linz I was thinking about but Udine in Italy. I often wonder whether I haven't travelled anywhere and that I'm still back in the UK and that the scenery was changed by people unknown while I slept. A creepy thought.