Then, having promised not to call a General Election until 2020, Theresa May changed her mind – she's known for doing that – and we all set off for the polling station on Thursday. That's the bad news. The good news is that she messed up completely. Not only did she put in a piss-poor performance throughout her campaign, thanks to two hapless advisers – Nick Timothy (he of the awful beard) and Fiona Hill – she was almost defeated by Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party, which made considerable gains, while the Tories lost seats and now have to form a government with the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) on a 'confidence and supply' basis. And the funniest thing of all? She didn't have to call an election until 2020! I haven't stopped laughing! As for politics fatigue, we might well have another General Election later in the year.
Westerham, Kent, Saturday 10th June 2017 – note virtually cloudless skies |
I woke up this morning
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
I was feeling quite shit
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
Made me some coffee
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
I felt like a tit
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
Then I went to bathroom
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
I needed a shit
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
And that's when I knew mah life-wazza-sham
Coz I'm a loser, baby
24 carat! – I'm such a tit
I'm a loser, honey
Yeah! Can't even write a hit
"Derdalla, derdalla, derdalla derdalla dum, da-da dum"
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
Came outta the toilet
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
Went straight to the car
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
Turned on the ignition
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
But I ain't goin' far
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
No gas in the tank
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
So I head back indoors
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
I'm feeling so mean
"Der-derdalla-Dum"
I just git to the stores
And that's when I knew mah life-wazza-sham
Coz I'm a loser, baby
[Short guitar riff – 'bip beele!, bip beele!]
[Short guitar riff – 'bip beele!, bip beele!]
24 carat! – I'm such a tit
[Bip beele! Bip beele!]
[Bip beele! Bip beele!]
I'm a loser, honey
Can't even write a hit
"Derdalla, derdalla, derdalla derdalla dum, da-da dum"
"Derdalla, derdalla, derdalla derdalla dum, da-da dum"
Said I'm a loser, little baby
"Derdalla-dum!"
"Derdalla-dum!"
Man! I'm such a tit!
Just in case I have written a hit song, it's Copyright Matthew Moggridge!
Perhaps I'll stop there, but you get my point. Who needs Eric Clapton or Seasick Steve when you've got me, Moronic Matt. I can turn out a tune with the best of them! Who can't?
The ride home was like it always is and, as always, we parted on the green and went home to enjoy the rest of the weekend.
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