Keeping it respectable...unlike Matt Hancock!

You know my rule, 70 miles or more per week and nothing less, that's the only way I can claim any kind of respectability out there in the cyclesphere, and this week I never thought I'd manage it. I was at work for three days and that put paid to any 'after work' riding. On Sunday just passed I rode to Tatsfield village to meet Andy, due to the possibility of rain and the fact that there's no cover in Westerham. Fine, but it reduced my mileage down from the usual 24 + plus miles to just 18.22 miles. I was on a loser, it seemed, but on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I rode the Beddlestead route (17.40 miles) and that bumped things up a little bit. Saturday morning I was set to make it around 80 miles, but foolishly in retrospect, I only repeated the Beddlestead run, giving me a weekly total of just over 70 miles (70.46 to be precise). I can live with that.

Col Du Skelly, a marker on Beddlestead Lane...

I started a new week today (Sunday 27 June) and rode to Westerham to meet Andy. I was thinking last night that we were going to be rained off, but no, it was fine. The weather was pleasant, fairly warm, a little cloudy and there was some fine drizzle but we avoided a soaking and now, at 1215hrs I'm back home and listening to Radiohead. Why? Because the BBC has been repeating Glastonbury and devoted a whole programme to the band's 1997 performance, which was little short of amazing. So now I'm listening to tracks from my favourite Radiohead album, The Bends, it's brilliant. I'm alone in the house, which means nobody is going to insist I turn it down or turn it off and yes, I'm typing a blogpost about my past week, which I've already explained. It's not possible to ride after work and unless I ride to work on the bike, which I've done in the past, cycling is off the agenda until a day I don't have to visit the office. Of course, theoretically, the Government is still saying stay at home if you can, but the company wants us in, in bubbles, and last week was my 'bubble' so in I went. To be fair, I welcome it. It's nice to see colleagues, visit the Pop Inn cafe for lunch and chew the fat with people I haven't seen for some time.

Looking up Beddlestead Lane...

It's Sunday, early afternoon, Matt Hancock has resigned his post as health secretary having been filmed grabbing the arse of his squeeze and, therefore, flagrantly flouting his own rules about social distancing. He's left his wife and, well, he's in a right mess. Boris Johnson, of course, was happy for him to stay in his post because, he, Johnson, has very, very low standards and is himself a dishonest arsehole who, like Hancock, and, indeed the rest of the party, should be removed from power. Look at the mess they've got the country in: Brexit, the highest COVID deaths in Europe and yet we voted for the cunts. Everybody is pissed off with Hancock and let's be fair they were pissed off before he was caught on camera snogging his bird. It's now a couple of days after the event and people are still seething, but their seething is tinged with glee as they know he's gone and is probably right this minute crying into his dinner. No longer in a position of power, it's only a matter of time before his mistress gets pissed off and decides to stay with her multi-millionaire husband, unless, of course, he kicks her out, although I hear she's left her husband, Hancock's left his wife and they're going to shack up together. How awful. She'll soon get fed up now he's no longer a member of the cabinet and just plain old Matt Hancock MP, an unimportant back bencher.

The Rockhopper at the top of Beddlestead Lane...

Andy and I were both running a little late. I arrived in Westerham around 0915 and spotted Andy sitting outside of Costa with a cup of black coffee and a slice of cake, his bike neatly parked next to him. I bought myself a large English Breakfast tea and a cinnamon brioche bun and then sat outside with Andy. We chatted about a number of things in between my bouts of heavy sneezing and itchy eyes. Hay fever. I get it every year.

I was heading in the Warlingham direction...

Andy's thinking about a 'dawn to dusk' bike ride to Cornwall to see his sister. It sounds like a great idea, getting up at the crack of dawn on the longest day of the year and riding until dusk. Andy reckons he could cover the 250-mile distance or get pretty close. I wouldn't mind having a stab at something like that. We talked about the Dunwich Dynamo, a night ride from Hackney to Dunwich in Suffolk, something else we'd both like to do, although there's the worry of how to get back home. Where's the nearest station, for example? But then I suggested renting a car or a van and we both agreed that would be the solution. Mind you, riding through the night could be hard and apparently it can get a little edgy when you reach Epping Forest, or so we've heard. It started to rain, but not heavily, so we remained seated and eventually it stopped and then it was time to head home, never a nice moment, the thought of the hill all the way to Botley and then, for me, the ride up the steep bit of Slines Oak Road.

Beddlestead Lane, not a million miles from the end.

Andy's on holiday next week so I'll have to motivate myself next Sunday, but at least this week I got off to a good start, a 22-mile ride. It's weird how the distances vary on Strava: today it was something like 22.95 miles, but the same ride has recorded as longer. I rely on Strava these days and, as Andy says, if it's not on Strava, it didn't happen.

Yours truly

It's official, by the way, Andy's become a vegan. He's riding daily, he's losing loads of weight, he's given up on eating animals and he's not finding it at all difficult. I mentioned that when I gave up drinking it was like flicking a switch and I no longer cared. I never really had any pangs, any craving for a beer, I just stopped and that was it; it's nearly been four years. We were having this conversation as we rode out of Westerham towards the hill, but we both know the hill starts as soon as we leave the northern Kent market town and that it's a right old slog all the way to the Botley Hill roundabout and then we follow The Ridge into Woldingham.

I'm amazed we both escaped a soaking. In fact it didn't rain all day and only started this evening (it's pissing down now).

A strange dream, yes, but I managed 84.75 miles this week, not bad!

A strange dream last night and very vivid. I was in the house of a very rich person and was engaged in some kind of game, I'm not exactly sure, but we were in a large space with a glass roof, possibly a very big conservatory and we were in what must have been water that was covered with white rose petals, up to our necks in it; I say 'we' because I was not alone. Sir Richard Branson was one of the guests and so was veteran newsman Harold Evans, plus myself and I can't recall anybody else. I was intrigued about Evans' presence, not because he's dead, but because there was a connection between him and my father and I wanted to ask him if he remembered dad. I never got the chance. Branson, incidentally, must have been fully submerged in the water because he broke the surface with a toothy smile and then we all sort of sat there not really saying a great deal. The next scene was outside somewhere, presumably in the grounds of the huge house in which this strange situation took place. I was walking along, possibly crossing a bridge over water or even simply walking along a concrete path bordered by a low wall behind which there was water, possibly a lake of some sort. Robert de Niro was leaning against the wall, but just before we engaged with one another a man started to attempt tripping me up from behind. He didn't succeed, but at one point he grabbed me by the short and curlies, said something offensive and then moved on. He was an older man with broad shoulders and farmers' clothes, a brown jacket, possibly corduroy trousers, the details are sketchy, but he passed by and soon I was telling Robert de Niro what had happened, pointing the man out as he strode away from us and disappeared. We walked in the man's direction, not with any intention of chasing him. We turned right and I heard myself saying, "So, how's it all going on the sartorial elegance front?" A strange question to ask, but one he answered without hesitation. He said he was fine and had seemingly taken my advice, but what I might have advised him I simply don't know. When he had gone I found myself approaching a young woman who I mistook for Harold Evans' wife, but she was far too young for that and pointed me elsewhere. Once again, my true aim was to ask Evans if he remembered my dad and I probably thought that by finding his wife I might stand a chance, but it wasn't to be. Lastly, prior to waking up, I was somewhere else and while something was going on, I can't remember exactly what. It was 0600hrs, it was raining outside (or about to) and a day of work lay ahead of me.

Tea and cake, Tudor Rose, Westerham

I'd had a fairly good week on the bike, unlike the previous week when I did absolutely no cycling, apart from the Sunday ride with Andy. Why I don't know, but after my jab on Thursday (not last week, the week before) I felt a little weary and didn't even go last Saturday, so my weekly total was something like 22 miles or thereabouts. This past week, however,  has been far better. On the Sunday just past (13 June) I rode into to Westerham to meet Andy. We sat on the green as usual, chatted about this and that, watched a few Harley Davidsons roll by and then rode home, parting at the top of Slines Oak Road in Woldingham. I then rode down the hill, up the other side and home. Fortunately I was motivated enough on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to ride three Washpond Weebles, but on Thursday there was rain, loads of it, all day long, and more is promised according to the weather people. I would like to ride today, Friday (18 June) and then again on Saturday (19 June), but my current total is just under 60 miles so even if I don't ride today and manage to get a ride in on Saturday, my weekly total will hover over 80 miles, which is a result. Right now it's looking pretty gloomy out there, in fact it's raining now, I can hear it, so a ride today is probably out of the question, which is a shame. Yesterday I was seriously considering a ride. I went out on to the driveway and there was a lovely smell of rain in the air. Fortunately, I decided not to ride and no sooner had I made that decision it started to rain, just like it is right now. There are those who will say it's good for the garden and perhaps they're right, but sod the garden I want to ride my bike. It is Friday 18 June 2021 and as I say, it's not been a bad week for cycling and it's not over yet; if today's a wash-out, there's always tomorrow and I think it'll fine on Saturday, but the weather will deteriorate as the day progresses, or so they say. I might still get to eat cake and drink English breakfast tea on the green at Westerham, but whether Andy and I will be meeting on Sunday (20 June) I don't know. We will see.

So it's now Saturday morning as I write this and everything is dull and still and it's looking as if it'll rain at any moment, although the weather people are still saying it will be cloudy, no rain, not until later in the day, or possibly overnight. It's 0739hrs and I'm planning to hit the road around 0800hrs. My iPhone says a mixture of cloud and sunshine today, certainly until lunch time, which means if I'm quick I could get myself down to Westerham and score a quick 22 miles, which would bring my total this week to just over 80 miles, not bad going, but let's see.

Well, it's now 1220hrs on Saturday morning and I've not long returned from a ride to Westerham, which was fantastic. Alright, it was cloudy, but it wasn't cold and while on the outward journey there was a fine shower of drizzle for a short while, I sailed along Beddlestead Lane and down Clarks Lane, turning left into Pilgrims Lane, passing the Velo Barn and then riding into Westerham where I found the Tudor Rose Tearooms. I sat inside, ordered tea and a slice of coffee & walnut cake, which could have been a little fresher, but it did the job, and soon I found myself back on the bike riding home. I decided to follow The Ridge into Woldingham, braced myself for the steep hill at the end of Slines Oak Road and then turned left on to the B269 and headed home. In total this week I rode 84.75 miles, a vast improvement on last week's 22 miles, and right now I feel good and I'm looking forward to a drive to Chartwell, which is just outside of Westerham, so I'll be retracing some of this morning's ride in the car.

The Westerham ride was fantastic as everything is in bloom. As I rode along Beddlestead the cow parsley was tipped with teardrops of rain and as that fine drizzle fell to the ground quietly, as only drizzle can do, I embraced the moment, the misty air, the warmth of a summer morning, the tweeting of the birds in the hedgerows, what was not to like, I thought, as I pedalled along looking forward to seeing the mobile phone mast that signifies the near end of Beddlestead Lane and the refreshing downhill ride towards Pilgrims Lane. I really hope that rain doesn't stop play tomorrow (Sunday 20 June) as I'm looking forward to meeting Andy on the green in Westerham* for our weekly chinwag.

* We met in Tatsfield village.

64 miles, thanks to the Dunton Green Growler...

 A poor week of cycling redeemed itself on Saturday with a ride to Dunton Green in Kent. The weather was wonderful and it felt great riding along Pilgrim's Lane. I ended up in Bojangles where a cup of tea and a slice of coffee cake made things even better, although my cake addiction is worrying and needs to be stopped. I sat on the green opposite the cafe, which is takeaway only at the moment and has been for some time, thanks to the pandemic.

The Washpond Weeble...

During the week I didn't start riding until Wednesday, but after two rides, the last one on Thursday, the rain fell from the skies for the whole of Friday, putting any thoughts of a ride out of the question. I managed a Washpond Weeble and a ride along Beddlestead Lane and then along The Ridge and home, total mileage was around 29 miles, giving me little to redeem myself. In a way I felt a little guilty for not kicking myself into gear, but then it was my first week back at work having enjoyed a week off. So, 35.90 miles did the trick, add the 12 miles for the Weeble and the 17 miles for the Beddlestead run and it added up to what? Around 64 miles, I can't remember exactly. If you read last week's post you'll know that nothing over 70 miles can be considered respectable in my book, but then I tend to fret about stuff like this when I shouldn't really worry about it. Sixty four miles is alright and I'll have to try to do better this coming week. I've got work on Monday and Tuesday this week, and by that I mean actually going into the office. I could ride in, but I won't, it's too much of a faff and I'd have to leave the house at an ungodly hour, ie 0630hrs and that would mean missing a mammoth breakfast, which has become a regular habit. I like nothing more than getting up early and eating a hearty brekkie, but now I think about it, I have to leave the house early so it won't be that mammoth and I won't have time to really enjoy it, less if I ride in. I'll just have to ensure I get a few shorter rides in from Wednesday through to Friday and then, adding a ride to Westerham next Saturday should give me a respectable mileage. It's all about a respectable mileage.

The Rockhopper on Washpond Lane

I love the summer, it's the best season of the year. No need to wrap up and wear a balaclava, no need for layers of clothing and no need for gloves either. I love it! And there's nothing nicer than riding through the countryside on narrow lanes smelling the passing cow parsley and the last few days of the bluebells that shimmer in the woods on either side of the road.

Summer 2021 is not as good as last year, but there's still time so let's not get too pessimistic. Last Friday's rain was a bit depressing, it drizzled all day long and while I thought it would brighten up in the late afternoon there was no chance; it rained into the night. But Saturday morning started with mist and gradually brightened up. Sitting across the road from Bojangles on the white plastic seats provided I lapped up the sunshine eating the aforementioned slice of coffee cake with my tea. The ride back wasn't half as wearisome as I thought it would be and soon I found myself on the hill leading up to the Botley roundabout. There was traffic on the Slines Oak Road that might have slowed me down, but even though the hill is steep I somehow weaved around the cars that were stacking up on their approach to the 269. I'm amazed I kept the bike on two wheels in such a low gear, but I managed it and then sailed home along the Limpsfield Road towards home.

On The Ridge...

On Sunday morning I left around 0800hrs and when I reached Westerham there was no sign of Andy. For a short while I thought I'd missed a message and that he'd rescheduled, but no, he was on his way. Soon enough he arrived and told me all about his 162-mile jaunt to Rye, Dungeness and the surrounding area. I felt tired for him, but what an achievement. Andy, if you're reading this, take a couple of days off, you don't want to overdo things, it's not good for you. We sat on our favourite table, me with an almond croissant and a paper cup of English breakfast, Andy with a fruit drink, a cookie, a chocolate cakey thing given to him by mistake and, well, it doubled as a kind of second breakfast and rightly deserved after all the cycling. We chatted about his mammoth ride and eventually headed for home. I decided not to ride along The Ridge as I had stuff to do, like mowing the lawn, so I rode the 269, keeping a weather eye on the traffic.

Woods along The Ridge

I've got my second jab this week, can't say I'm looking forward to it, but needs must and all that.

A short break on Pilgrims Lane on last Saturday

It's worth pointing out, incidentally, that this blogpost has been waiting all week to be posted as, for some reason unknown to man, the images you see never uploaded to Google Photos for an entire week. Today, as I write this, Thursday 10 June, the day of my second jab, I found them on the site and now I can press the 'publish' button.

The bike on Pilgrims Lane last Saturday

It was a good week on the bike, that redeemed itself with the Dunton Green Growler. This week is looking a bit dodgy. The weather yesterday was amazing but I was feeling down, demoralised, I don't know, and I left the house without wearing a crash helmet. I didn't realise until I reached Church Way and was halfway up the hill. I thought about turning back or pressing on and decided on the latter. When I reached home I'd travelled all of 1.79 miles.

Bojangles in Dunton Green, time for some cake!

I must go out today, I keep telling myself, but it's jab day and I think you're supposed to take things easy, we'll see.

Tea and coffee cake, Dunton Green

The cake must stop, it just must.

75 miles last week, a respectable distance...

 I managed 75 miles or thereabouts last week. The weather picked up, which was nice, and because I'd taken the week off work I wasn't limited to rides after 1630hrs. Often times, riding late in the afternoon is wearisome and if I think too hard about the ride, like cycling up Church Hill or along Beddlestead Lane, then I start to feel tired and there's a very real chance that I simply won't go. It's great, of course, if I get out and reach that point of no return, because I know that I have to finish the ride, I can't shorten it and it means I can chalk up some miles on Strava. Now I know that sounds very Lycra monkey, I get that, but the great thing about Strava is that it records everything and earns me a bit of kudos in the process.

I stopped for tea along Beddlestead Lane.

Last week saw me riding along Beddlestead Lane then turning right at the end, riding towards Botley and than taking a left turn into The Ridge and following the road through Woldingham, up Slines Oak Road and home, a total of 17.39 miles, but it varied. The second ride was 17.41 miles and the third was 17.88 miles, although, on one of them, I did return home temporarily to check I'd locked the doors, which I had so it was pointless going back.

Towards the end of Beddlestead Lane

On one ride, the weather was so pleasant that I stopped around three quarters of the way along Beddlestead for a cup of tea. I'd brought a flask with me and sat on the side of the road. It was idyllic. There was almost total silence apart from the sound of the birds and then the occasional cyclist pedalling past and remarking on the weather. I had enough water and teabags for a second cup and I could have stayed longer, but decided to push on and finish the ride. I had intended to ride into Westerham, but didn't. I figured that around 17.5 miles was a good enough jaunt.

The serenity of Beddlestead Lane, total silence

At one stage during the week I realised I was on for a pretty good weekly mileage total, but as always things got in the way and I had to recalculate my distances. I figured that one more 17.5 miles or so would give me the magical 75 miles and that was it. I'd tasked myself with decorating a bedroom and it took three days from start to finish but put paid to a few rides. I never went out on Sunday (the start of my cycling week) and now I'm back at work and it's Wednesday. I must ride today, tomorrow and Friday if I'm to put in a respectable mileage at the end of the week. And you might well ask 'what is respectable?' and in my book it's 70 miles or over, anything less is a case of 'could do better'. Why 70? I don't know, but it seems about right, although my aim is to ride over 90 if possible, although I'll make do with around 80 miles if I have to; it all goes back to that 1630 ride and whether I feel up to it. It's great reaching home knowing I've done it, but it's hard to motivate myself to get out there and that's the key.

On The Ridge heading for Woldingham

One thing I did last week was fix the phone situation. I am now the proud owner of an iPhone XS and the battery is good enough to allow me to use Strava and take a few photographs, something the old blog has been lacking over the past few weeks. My old iphone 5S has been put out to grass and while the XS is slightly bigger, it's far, far better.

Looking across fields from The Ridge

Here's hoping I get out today, tomorrow and Friday and that my Saturday ride to Westerham gives me a respectable weekly distance.