...yes, I'm in Leicester. Not very exotic when you consider some of the other places I've been to, but next on the agenda is Morocco. Marrakech to be precise. But that's later. Right now I'm sitting in a budget hotel watching Celebrity Big Brother on Channel Five. People in my office don't like Perez Hilton, but I do; he's brilliant. A million times better than the awful Katie Hopkins, his nemesis, and her crew. And right now the ads are on and there's an eviction coming up. It won't be Perez as he's currently segregated from the rest of the house on some kind of secret mission set by Big Brother.
Anyway, I'm sounding pretty sad. It's not that I'm a Celebrity Big Brother fanatic, never have been, but when you sit down and watch a few minutes you get hooked and that's just what's happened to me.
On a completely different subject, if ever you find yourself in Leicester, go to The Globe on Silver Street. It's excellent. Oh, hold on, Celebrity Big Brother's back on. A live eviction! "The results are now in." But who's coming out? "It's time to talk to the house. Celebrity Big Brother House, this is Emma...".
"The viewers have spoken. Your fate is sealed. I can now reveal the two housemates with the most votes and, therefore, safe from eviction are....Nadia and....Katie Hopkins!" But who's going out? Hold on, it could be Cami Lee, Patsy, "one of you is about to leave the celebrity big brother house." But who? It's...Patsy! Patsy Kensit has 30 seconds to say her goodbyes.
I have to say that I like Patsy Kensit. She's got a bit of style about her, unlike most of those in the house. So let's hear what she has to say...after another ad break.
Great Aldi ad with a bear in the woods talking about toilet paper. Do bears shit in the woods? Of course they do!
It's back on! Is Patsy pleased or disappointed to be out? Pleased. She says it's stressful and madness (in the house). "The problem was I just didn't want to get involved in the fights," Patsy says. "I'm really happy to be out."
Is this boring? It is, I know, but here I am sitting in a budget hotel in Leicester. Although, to be honest, I've been watching it at home too. The last time I watched Celebrity Big Brother was in 2005 (or 2006) when Pete Burns was in the house.
Anyway, back to Patsy, she likes Cami Lee (boos from the audience).
"I'm safe, I'm calm and my intention is good," says Patsy while in the Big Brother House. Mind you, what's with all the 'give peace a chance' stuff? A bit out-dated, don't you think? But hey! I like her calmness.
"My time in the big brother house has been a little bit surprising but I'm glad I did it," she says and now the fun begins as the housemates are about to find out that Perez hasn't left the house, as they all thought – he's back and the Perez Show continues, although he's now permanently up for eviction. Not that he cares! If he does get evicted he still gets paid.