A (baker's) dozen things to consider if you're new to cycling...

Specialized Rockhopper Sport 29er

Things to look out for when riding the bike - a few thoughts.

1. Get used to your bike before you cycle too much on the roads. By that I mean get to know how it handles, what its limitations are and so on. 

2. When you're on the road, don't let your mind drift. Be aware of traffic at all times and listen out for cars. Watch the situation in front, ie sometimes cars give room to a cyclist on the other side of the road, but that means they're coming straight for you, beware. 

3. On the point of motorists giving cyclists room, most don't bother. They're supposed to leave something like three feet between you and them, but they don't, most drive far too close for comfort, so keep over to the left hand side and don't drift to the right, keep the bike straight and always cover the brakes with your hands. 

4. Beware of motorists full stop. Especially van drivers. They don't care about you. Watch out when riding along for lorries or buses or coaches turning left in front of you, they might not have seen you on their inside; there's been a lot of cyclist deaths caused by lorries, buses, coaches etc turning left with a cyclist coming along their inside. 

5. Parked cars. Another big cause of cycling accidents is people opening their driver side door as you're riding past. You must give them enough room to do this. I've had a few close calls. So when you're approaching parked cars, check what's behind you before moving out and keep your eyes peeled, give the cars parked on your left room as again, motorists don't think and they don't care about you.

7. Don't drive recklessly and by that I mean don't speed, especially on downhill sections of road or bends where you don't know what's coming round the corner. You'd be amazed how sometimes cars come round a corner on the wrong side of the road. 

8. Don't take corners too fast. This was how I came off back in October 2016, cutting my legs and hands in the process. It was painful for days, make that weeks, and my right knee swelled up. Not good and all because I came whizzing round a left turn too fast on a wet road, the bike slid from under me and I hit the road hard. The weird (and nasty) thing about coming off is the impact. You hit the ground with a thud, it's really not pleasant. With this in mind, your bike has very very thin tyres compared to mine, making it much easier for you to come a cropper if the roads are wet. Don't be fooled, keep the speed down. I came off when I was riding the Specialized Crosstrail Sport Disc, a hybrid, that's why I exchanged it for a mountain bike (fatter tyres, more stability). See photo at the top for my new bike, a Specialized Rockhopper Sport 29er. Although make no mistake, the accident was my fault, not the bike's.

9. Keep an eye on the saddle. It might not be right for you. You'll soon know if you're getting numbness 'down there' and you don't want to be getting any embarrassing problems. There are plenty of good saddles,  just go on Amazon and you'll find them.

10. Enjoy riding the bike with pals, go to the parks etc, but I would strongly advise against commuting on it through rush hour traffic in any UK city, but especially in London, although since lockdown there's been more cycle lanes. I've been riding, mostly at weekends, and Andy and I go out early into the rural lanes of Northern Kent, leaving the house around 0700hrs and getting back around 0900hrs, possibly a bit later, but the point is there's  less traffic. The key thing to avoid at all costs is traffic and this is more of a problem in the city.

11. Don't wear flip flops or any other inappropriate footwear.

12. Always be prepared for punctures, get some 'leeches' from Halfords, make sure you have a small pump and, of course, something to put it in (small rucksack, for example). And, what about a lock? Lots of bikes are nicked so I'd suggest a U-lock, although they are very heavy and cumbersome.

13. Don't ride in the gutter. Why not? Because of all the crap that resides there, like leaves, general crap, potholes and so forth. It also encourages close passes. 

Non-stop to and from Dunton Green - a good way to end the week!

Cycling around the burbs as I have been this week, I'm conscious of the human condition hiding behind parked cars and occasionally stepping out from behind trees. It's hard sometimes for me to take my mind off of it, but often I turn to license plates as a form of distraction and a way of thinking about something else other than the passing of time and not really achieving anything. I play this silly game where I have to work out what the last three letters of a particular number plate stand for; today, for instance, I passed a parked car with a plate ending OOF, which sounds like the noise I would make if I ran into somebody at speed. OOF! OOF should have an exclamation mark after it, OOF! But what else could it stand for? Well, how about 'Ordinary Orange Face', something you might attribute to Donald Trump as he has what you might describe as an ordinary orange face. Anyway, you get the gist of what I'm saying, anything to stop me thinking about hour glasses and what I'm doing (or not doing) with my life.

Everybody's getting a little pissed off. It's the fucking virus. Certain parts of the country have gone into so-called Tier 3 'measures', which is the same, almost, as being in lockdown. The Mayor of Manchester, Andy Burnham, is putting up a fight and as a friend of mine suggested on Twitter recently, has become a kind of Prime Minister for the North.

Here in London we're now in Tier 2 'measures' and I'm guessing that sooner or later there will be a 'circuit breaker' lockdown that will probably last a fortnight and keep us all indoors, like we were back in the period March to September this year, give or take. I've written a lot about my lockdown experiences, 42 posts in total, and you can find them by scrolling back.

Lockdown hasn't really bothered me if I'm honest. I've made the most of my bicycle and have at times reached the dizzying heights of 100 miles/week, some feat! Well, it hasn't been that easy. Motivation when you're riding alone is hard to come by, that's what's good about Andy and I cycling together at weekends, we motivate each other. For a while now we've been meeting on Sunday mornings and we both agree that it's the best day of our cycling week, especially now that Phil has returned. And Geoff's been coming too, but neither he nor Phil have arrived on pushbikes, they've arrived by car or motorcycle. Not that it's a problem, we enjoy their company and the chat. In fact, the Sunday ride has become an important event, the one nobody wants to miss, and even now, as I write this, I must admit to being a little bit excited at the prospect of Sunday's ride as it draws closer.

I'm also enjoying my solo trips to the Velo Barn for a cappuccino and a slice of lemon cake. I'll probably head there on Saturday as it's a pleasant 20-miler, roughly, and there's a prize at the end of it (coffee and cake); and yes, coffee. I go through phases now and then when I fancy a cappuccino and a slice of cake, although the latter has been a habit for some time, and now that mum's back in hibernation, it looks as if the Velo Barn's cake selection is my only hope. This week I'll probably take a book with me and simply chill. I can't think of anything better: a ride on the bike, punctuated by coffee, cake and a decent read. Perhaps a newspaper, who knows? Anyway, there follows a day-by-day account of my cycling week, which culminated in a non-stop ride to and from Dunton Green in Kent.

Sunday 18 October 2020

I must try and do better this week. Last week, I managed 38 miles in total, not good. The week before I think it was 45 miles and the weeks before that the mileage was perfectly acceptable, ie well over 60 miles. It's got a lot to do with the change in the weather. Gone are the balmy summer days of 2020, which saw me out on the bike most days riding a fair distance on each occasion. It's now the autumn, mid-October, and there are cloudy skies. Everythng is dull and boring, just like those awful Saturday afternoons when I was a kid with nothing to look forward to other than Songs of Praise and school on Monday.

Excellent cakes, two each!

Perhaps this week I should adopt the principle of shorter rides, cycle for 10 miles per day so that by the end of the week I'd have put in around 50 miles, plus today's 18 miles, that's 68 and then a ride to the Velo Barn would bring my total to 88 miles. That's going to be my aim. All I have to do this week is put my new saddle in place.

Today, Sunday, I rode to the Tatsfield Bus Stop to meet Andy and Phil, both of whom were there when I arrived. I'd been dallying in the garage trying to fix my Wild Man crossbar bag onto the bike. Nothing's easy so in the end I got it half on and then headed off for Tatsfield village. I left at 0723hrs and got there around 0810hrs. Phil had brought some nice cakes, made by his daughter (see photo). We had two each and chatted about this and that. Andy says our pal Dave is moving to Wales.

For Saturday and Sunday's ride I've been wearing my new cycling shorts. They make a huge difference. Currently I have my bike's original saddle in place, and with the new shorts, there's no problems with pain or numbness or anything, so clearly the big issue for me was not wearing cycling shorts. I'm still going to fix the new saddle on the bike, but I'll leave it until Tuesday.

The pond at the top of Slines Oak Road...

Monday 19 October 2020

I should have taken the bike to work this morning, but I didn't because I was so tired. I've been getting quite a few late nights, but managed to hit the sack around 2200hrs last night. I awoke around 0430 but drifted off and didn't really want to get out of bed, which is strange as I'm always bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready to rock well before 0600hrs normally. It's a clear sign that winter is well and truly on the way. I should have been on the bike at 0630hrs. The weather was great and still is as I write this now, but instead I left the bike at home, which is a real shame as the iphone is suggesting rain for the rest of the week. I might have to get used to riding in the rain. My aim is 10-milers daily Tuesday through Friday and then a ride to the Velo Barn on Saturday, meaning I should be riding around 60 miles this week, possibly more if the rain holds off and I boost my mileage, but let's see. Right now it's 1614hrs and I ought to be heading home.

Tuesday 20 October 2020

I was expecting rain, but the weather turned out to be fine so I headed out on a lunch time ride of 10.53 miles. My plan is to ride short distances all week and if I keep up the 10.53 miles daily then I'll have covered 40 miles by the close of play Friday. A ride to the Velo Barn on Saturday is roughly 20 miles or, if I'm really adventurous and head for Dunton Green, that could boost my weekly mileage to over 70 miles. 

My lunch time ride today took me on two laps of my local route, the one that incorporates the Norfolk Nobbler and a little bit more. One lap is just under five miles so when I finished my second lap I continued up West Hill, rode the length of the Ridgeway, turned left on Arkwright, left again into the other part of Arkwright and then left on Morley, right on Elmfield, left into Southcote, right on Ellenbridge and home. A 10-miler. Perfect. Now to keep it up all week. The shorter rides should mean I get a ride in even if it's raining, or between rain showers. Ideally I should head for the lakes or Dunton Green on Saturday, or Redhill with Bon perhaps. Throwing in a ride to Redhill would make the weekly total 64 miles, far better than last week's total, but not a patch on my summer riding, unless I throw in a ride to Tatsfield in the late afternoon/early evening. 

I managed to fix my new saddle on the bike, something I thought would prove impossible, but it's on and it's fine.

Wednesday 21 October 2020

It rained all day. A ride was looking highly unlikely. After work I watched and waited. The plan was to complete another 10-miler, staying close to the house. Eventually, around 5pm, the weather settled a little bit so off I went. As I rode the route I realised that I'm going to need a new seat post. It's all very annoying, but my existing post is long and it hits something inside the frame that prevents it from going down further than its current position, which is still too high. I've considered buying a hacksaw and shaving off around two inches, but perhaps it'll be easier to buy a shorter post. If I buy a new post I'll have to fix the saddle on it, meaning that I've been messing around for weeks taking saddles on and off only to discover that the addition of a new saddle has fucked up the riding position. Still, I've now got 38 miles under my belt and the weather is looking promising for the rest of the week.

Thursday 22 October 2020

The weather today was fantastic, not a drop of rain and most of the day plenty of sunshine too, although the winter is coming, my friends, the temperatures are dropping and the nights are closing in. I was going to ride further than just my two laps of the burbs, but by the time I got out there I started thinking about being caught out in the dark, which wouldn't have been a problem as I have lights, but all the same, who wants to be riding at night time? Not me. So around a quarter to five I headed off for two laps and around 10.5 miles. It's fine, but it's boring, laps always are, but two laps is just about acceptable, although I'll admit to being glad to get home. My cumulative weekly total so far is 48 miles, give or take, possibly 49 miles, so a ride to the Velo Barn on Saturday will give me a respectable end-of-week total, certainly when compared to last week's poor show. I've still got bike hassles, by the way. In fact, I've realised that cycling really is a balancing act in more ways than one. If you mess about with one aspect of the bike, it messes up something else. Last week I was messing around with saddles and now I've got a new one, but guess what? The seat makes it impossible for my feet to touch the ground and the problem is the seat post. I might buy another one or simply swap it with the Truvativ seat post on the Kona, although I don't want to start cannibalising the Kona, so perhaps just buying a new seat post will do. Either that or hacksawing around two inches off the bottom of the existing post. Somehow I think the cheaper option is buying a new one or nicking the Kona's.

Friday 23 April 2020

The day started sunny but slowly deteriorated and then I found myself gassing on the phone to a work colleague and not really paying attention to the time. In the end it was gone 5pm and raining so no riding for me today. I can still redeem myself if I ride early to Dunton Green, a tall order, but might be possible if the weather holds out. Perhaps Redhill, or even the Velo Barn, but the latter will bring my total to just 70 miles. I know, I know, it's much more than last week's piss poor performance and at least I'll be on an upwards curve.

Non-stop to Dunton Green, Kent...

Saturday 24 April 2020

And so I reach the end of my week and, as usual, it's early in the morning and I'm sitting here at the table, everybody else is asleep upstairs and I'm on the lap top looking at Twitter and writing this rather long sentence. I'm contemplating what to do: ride to Velo Barn or ride over to Woodmansterne to see Bon? It's a tough choice, but I really need to put in the miles, hence the Velo Barn has a certain appeal, although I could always ride to Redhill, that would be just over 24 miles and there would be big climbs on the return ride. I've got time to think about it as my phone is charging and I'll need it if I'm going to ride to the Velo Barn for that coffee and cake I talked about earlier in this post. Just in case you're wondering, I've been writing this post on a day-by-day basis, I haven't written all of it this morning, even if I was up before 0600hrs stuffing my face with Alpen and drinking decaff tea. It's almost 0800hrs, and probably will be by the time I finish this sentence. Well, alright, it's still not 'on the hour' but it will be soon. The phone's on charge, the day is looking surprisingly grey and there might well be some rain, but I've got to get out there.

And I did get out! Far out! My intention was to ride to the Velo Barn, but then, as it drew near, I thought I'd crack on and aim for Dunton Green instead. I figured I could have a coffee and some caked at Bojangles. It's been a while since my last visit when it was takeaway-only, so surely it's reverted to a sit-down cafe. But then I was hit with devastating news as I rode along the last few yards of Pilgrims Lane: I didn't have a face mask! How fucking irritating. But later, as I approached the caff I noticed a queue of people outside, they were still offering takeaway only. The problem, of course, is that my last visit was in August when the sun was shining and those white plastic tables and chairs across the road behind the hedge were fine, some would say perfect. Now it is late October and there has been a drizzly rain falling. The idea of being exposed to the elements doesn't appeal at all so I rode past and down towards a mini roundabout at the top of Rye Lane. I turned around and rode home and while I was tempted to stop at the Velo Barn on the return journey, I pressed on and up towards Botley Hill and then home along the 269. The ride was 31.65 miles, giving me a healthy mileage for the week, roughly 80 miles, probably a bit over. I reached home at 1150hrs feeling good and looking forward to tomorrow's ride to Tatsfield village.

Messing around with saddles and another ride to the Velo Barn...

Sunday, Tatsfield Village, sausage sarnies, Phil, new bike, talked about giving up alcohol, and motorbikes, drank tea, great times, rode back via the Ridge, had a nasty puncture incident, took ages to fix, but got there in the end. Reached home late, gone 1130hrs then drove to Slindon in West Sussex. 

It's looking like a no-cycling kind of week. First, there's the rain, second there's the fact that I decided I could fix a new saddle on to my bike, I couldn't. I brought the seat post into the house, managed to get the old saddle off, but getting the new one back on is one hell of a job especially as I managed to take all the fittings off and now can't get them back on again. I should have realised that I'm a complete cock when it comes to fixing things, especially bikes. I can manage a puncture, even a rear wheel puncture, but the fiddly nature of fixing the saddle means that if you gave me a bike and a saddle and asked me to fix it while staying on a desert island, I'd still be on the island today, I'd be there for months, if not years, that's how bad I am. I don't particularly want this to be the case, but that's the way it is. I wish I could go on a bike maintenance course, like an in-depth course, and learn the whole lot, but I don't have the time or the money so I'm going to have to rely upon bike shops for the foreseeable future.

Last Sunday's puncture on the way back from Tatsfield Village

Rain has been another reason for not riding, although it's more a case of perception and believing the weather app on the iphone than the reality of things. I was in the office yesterday. Now, don't get me wrong, I couldn't have cycled to the office Wednesday because there was no saddle on the bike, but the chief reason I'd ruled it out initially was the weather. The app said rain later in the day so I thought, well, I could ride in and train it back, but decided not to bother. As it turned out, when it was time to head home the weather was fine and it remained that way. I could have riden in and back and that would have been 24 miles under my belt, but no. It's now Thursday and I've only got 18 miles in the bank and a bike without a saddle.

And the saddle situation gets more complicated. The new Daway saddle arrives a day early and wow is it big! It's huge. A bit like the sort of seat you'd find on a vintage Harley Davidson or Indian motorcycle. I'm thinking this is going to be very comfortable, but being a total nob in the technical department, I'm forced to head down to Cycle King to get it fixed on, so I jump in the car with the saddle and seat post and visit the shop. They fix it in place and charge me £8, no problem, and a job well done. So I get home and put the seat post back on the frame and because the saddle is so huge I can no longer touch the ground when sitting on the bike. It gets worse. I discover that my seat post won't go down any further, there's something inside the frame that stops it. This is all very annoying and I start thinking about buying a hacksaw, but then think better of it. To be honest, the seat post issue has arisen before, even with the old Selle Royal saddle, which proved to be not so royal after all (it punctured, hence my need to replace it). There appears to be some kind of bracket inside the frame that prevents my seat post from being any lower, meaning that whenever I stop the bike, at lights etc, I have to make sure I'm off the saddle or I'll simply keel over. So now I'm thinking about a new seat post.

New saddle and a crossbar bag, my new purchases...

To be honest, the Daway 'comfortable' saddle isn't that comfortable and I find myself getting a little annoyed with the Selle Royal product, which I thought was great until it punctured and I had to tape it up. I have to start looking for a bank statement that has details of the original purchase as I can't remember whether I bought it on Amazon or elsewhere. It's still under guarantee so I contact Amazon (after finding a bank statement entry for 10 December 2019 stating I bought it for £45) to see if I can get a refund. In short, I can, so as I'm 'chatting' with the site's online chatbot (actually, I think it's a real person, it has to be, they understand me) I decide to get the Selle Royal refund AND a refund for the Daway too. All fine, except that the bank card I used to buy the Selle is now null and void so I'm offered a gift card instead of the money. Not a bad idea as I need to buy a new saddle so I accept. Then I set about buying a new saddle. I noted with anger, however, that the Selle Royal was now £20 more expensive than when I bought it last December so I shop around and eventually find one (a Serfas) that I buy for just £36. Then I realise I'm not getting any change from that gift card so I decide to buy something else to make up the money: a Wild Man crossbar bag that'll take stuff like a mobile phone, bank card, front door keys and so on. Total order, around £45. In fact, because of the gift card, I only end up paying something like £4 on top for the saddle and the cross bar bag. Result!

The next step, however, is to get the Daway saddle off the bike and into a box and then send the box (containing both saddles) to Amazon. Within five-to -even days I'll receive a refund for the Daway and all will be good. However, my new saddle won't arrive until the 19th October, next week. Fortunately, I have the Rockhopper's original saddle in the garage, which ain't a bad saddle, and this time I'm going to try to fix it by myself. I don't hold out much hope, but let's see. Either way it'll be a temporary measure as when my new saddle arrives I'll be taking it off and replacing it... better make that Cycle King will be doing it. I reckon they'll also be putting the Rockhopper saddle on the seat post, but let's see. All of this is very annoying as it means I haven't been out on the bike all week and it's nothing to do with the rain. Today is Friday, it's been a bad week on the cycling front, but I'm hoping I'll be riding somewhere tomorrow morning.

Well, first, how about an update on the saddle situation. It's all good news. I managed to get the Daway saddle off the bike and into a cardboard box along with the Selle Royal, which, incidentally, had risen in price from the £45 I paid last December to almost £60! And why would I re-buy the saddle that, ultimately, let me down? So I searched Amazon and eventually found the Serfas, designed for blokes, and I think it's better than the Selle Royal. The Serfas saddle employs the ICS 'infinite comfort system' which basically protects your bits, it's as if somebody has sliced a big chunk of it out of the middle, leaving a one-inch depth channel running the length of the seat. I don't plan on fitting it until after tomorrow's ride, just in case I have problems and have to cancel the ride. The original Specialized saddle is fine because I've also bought some pretty decent cycling shorts, yes, cycling shorts, made of Lycra, that I wore today for the first time. I rode to the Velo Barn with the intention of recording the mileage of the ride, which I reckon, all-in, is about 20 miles. Unfortunately, my iPhone ran out of power so I failed in my task, but it doesn't matter. 

When I reached the Velo Barn, just before 0900hrs, I loitered outside until they officially opened on the hour and then ordered a regular cappuccino and a slice of lemon cake. Perfect. Then I sat down and chilled, watching my bike, which was parked outside. I really needed a book to read, that would have been perfect, or a newspaper, but had neither so I just chilled, eavesdropping on other people's conversations before ordering a mug of tea, purely to extend my time sitting there doing nothing. Eventually, of course, I had to go, but the journey back isn't at all difficult. I rode along a short stretch of Pilgrim's Lane, just like last Saturday, and then rode up the hill towards Botley. It was a walk in the park and soon I found myself on the 269 and heading for home. 

This morning I'd woken up at 0459hrs and, for some reason, I needed to listen to Jump by Van Halen, so I headed downstairs, switched on the lap top and found what I was looking for on You Tube. Perfick! And I followed up with Ian Brown's First World Problems, equally perfick. With a bowl of Alpen, grapes, sliced banana, raspberries and blueberries, not forgetting a cup of tea, I was feeling on top of the world and looking forward to getting out there on the bike. The original plan had been a ride to Woodmansterne Green, but Bon didn't reply so I figured he might have gone out and rode instead (as you know) to the Velo Barn. It was the perfect end to the week, but a week marred by no cycling and loads of hassles with bicycle saddles. Still, it's all sorted now and tomorrow there's the ride to Tatsfield Village to meet the guys.

Round town top cranking...and other stories

I can't believe that I rode for 14.5 miles around local streets yesterday (last Saturday to be precise). I worked out a lap that incorporated the Norfolk Nobbler. Each lap turned out to be almost five miles and I did three. Fortunately, the weather held out. Around 0900hrs I headed out on damp roads and wearing full waterproofs, but the rain had stopped and it didn't start again until I'd finished my ride. I'll be totally honest, it was a really hard ride as I'd thrown in many hills. A true work-out. When I got back I needed a shower and it goes to show you how deceptive things are: I was well and truly whacked on my return, more so than when I finish a ride from, say, the lakes or Westerham, and it's all to do with constantly facing hills on the local rides.

But I went via Beech Farm Road...

Andy and I were feeling a bit gung-ho about everything and had vowed to get out there today, today being the Sunday after last Sunday, rain or shine, but in all honesty, when I woke up around 0500hrs, I peered out of the window and noted the rain hammering down on next door's flat-roofed extension. As I write this (at 0712hrs) I'm guessing it's still hammering down, I'll take a look at the bird bath in a minute, but Andy and I have aborted the ride, the first 'abort' of the whole summer. Very annoying. We're both hoping to get out on local rides, which means I might attempt yesterday's ride, or possibly two laps of it, which equate to 9.82 miles, so all I need to do is ride the length of the Ridgeway and I reckon that'll be 10 miles (8 miles short of what I'd planned for today, unless, of course, things brighten up). Somehow I don't think they will.

Let's go and check that birdbath. Hold on for a second...its a right shit storm out there. The birdbath is frothing with turbulent waters, raindrops are dancing in the puddles, but when I look out front there's nothing but stillness. That said, I still might get out there and do at least two laps. I've got the whole day so I can pick my time. But alas, the rain cavorted in the puddles all day long and now, at 2203hrs it's too late to go anywhere. Instead I sit here watching Michael Palin's Around the World in 80 Days. It's quite amazing when you think that, back then, in 1988, there were no mobile phones and no Internet and it all looks very old-fashioned, not to mention 'terribly British'.

Fucking flytipping bastards...

On Monday I headed for work, but not on the bike. The threat of rain loomed large for the ride back so I decided to take the train instead, a big mistake. It never rained (of course it didn't) and the sun came out and I can't say I was happy about missing the chance of a swift 24-mile ride. So far this week, nothing, not a single mile. Remember, my week starts on a Sunday and yesterday was rained off (see above for details). I've got until Saturday (10 October) to put on some miles. If I can reach 70 I'll be happy. Last week I managed 73 and I'm concerned that the mileage will drop as the weather gets colder and we all slide towards Christmas. I've really got to get out there tomorrow, but let's see what the weather brings.

Having not gone out on Sunday or Monday, I was glad to get out on Tuesday late afternoon. I decided to ride to Westerham, the slow way and it was fine. There was a bit of rain, but it was short-lived and light and didn't have any adverse effects. The ride out was fairly smooth, apart from some fly tippers who had dumped a load of old rubbish, including a door, on the upside of the hill coming out of Westerham. It's very dangerous for cyclists as you come down the hill, not expecting anything, but then suddenly come across it, no warning, and there are, of course, cars coming at you on your side of the road in order to avoid the mess. After dark I'm sure there will be accidents. I rode the slow way, along Beddlestead Lane and when I got to Westerham I loitered for a few moments, took some shots of the bike near St. Mary's Church and in front of Churchill's statue and then headed off up the hill. I took a right turn off of the 269 and rode along Beech Farm Road, turning left into Washpond Lane, right on Ledgers and then left on Church Lane, heading towards Warlingham Sainsbury's. It was a fairly long ride, 23.65 miles in total and I reached home around a 1845hrs, fired up and ready to make a prawn curry, which was delicious, and then I watched Midnight Run with Robert De Niro, a great movie that I'd never seen before. Hit the sack around 2330hrs and woke up around 0500hrs. It's now Wednesday morning, 0744hrs and I've got to start thinking about work. Incidentally, Strava informs me that I'm the local legend on something known as the Rugby Dash, but again, I don't see anybody pointing at me as I pass or taking photographs. "There he is! It's Matt, he's the local legend for the Rugby Dash! Hey, Matt! Can I have your autograph?" Nobody knows me, which is just as well.

St Mary's Church, Westerham

Wednesday afternoon and rather than hit the road on the bike, heading for God knows where, although I had been planning a repeat performance of yesterday's ride to Westerham, I decided instead to slob around and do nothing. I didn't feel like if I'm honest with you and while I kind of considered doing a bit of Round Town Top Cranking, like on Saturday in between rain showers, I didn't and soon the moment had passed and I'd have to regroup myself, think about tomorrow and hope that despondency didn't win again, not that it really won today, I wasn't feeling despondent at all, well, perhaps a bit, but no, I just didn't get out there, end of the story. And now, at 2305hrs I'm writing this and watching the documentary of the Rolling Stones playing in Havana, Cuba, a momentous moment for the Cubans and an exhilarating experience for the band. They're a great band, the Stones. I like all of them in equal measure and hope they continue to rock into the future. I wonder whether they ever thought they'd be still playing?

It's Thursday morning and I slept badly. It might have been that slice of chocolate cake or the fact that I simply ate far too much last night, but either way, I went up around 2330hrs and was still awake around 0330hrs. Not good. I woke up around 0630hrs and I still haven't looked out at the weather, although I'm guessing it'll be raining. Well, according to the iphone there's a chance I'll get a ride in this afternoon if I'm feeling chipper. By rights I should head for Westerham again for another 23-miler, but I'm saying nothing. I don't want to commit to anything and then disappoint myself.

It's now 1312hrs and the sun is out. There was rain earlier, but it might be good for later when I down tools and head out on the bike. The plan is leave as near to 1600hrs as possible and see if I can get some decent miles under my belt.

Well, the plan was faulty, or rather, not adhered to. I never went anywhere other than a very pleasant after dark walk around the block. Sometimes I guess I'm not in the mood and this week, disrupted by last weekend's rain, is one of those weeks and I need to resign myself to the fact. It was a similar story on Friday, although I had to drive into East London so any thoughts of a ride had to be put on hold. For some reason (probably because I was told as much by the weather people) I expected the whole week to be a wash-out. I was amazed to get out there on Tuesday for an evening ride to Westerham, but I did, and there were plenty of opportunties to have jumped on the bike, but I didn't take them and more fool me I guess.

It's now Saturday morning and there appears to be sunshine seeping through the curtains. It's just dawned on me that I could go for a ride and probably should get out there. Choices enter my head: a lonely ride to Botley or Westerham even or a shorter ride to mum's or to see Bon on Woodmansterne Green. Decisions! Decisions! I've just had breakfast: bowl of Alpen, a toasted teacake, a strawberry yoghurt and, of course, a cup of decaff tea and now, with the end of my piss poor cycling week approaching me, I have to decide one way or the other: do I go out there or sit around here feeling sorry for myself?

Postscript: a ride to the Velo Barn

I went out, rode a good 22 miles, the slow way to the Velo Barn. The Velo Barn? It's a new bicycle repair shop and cafe. The weather was fantastic and when I got there I ordered a cappuccino and a slice of lemon cake. After ordering I went outside and basked in the sunshine. The Velo Barn is technically in Westerham, although (equally technically) it's about a mile outside of where Andy and I usually go when we pay a visit to the Northern Kent market town. It took them a while to deliver coffee and cake to my table and I was on the brink of going in to suss out the problem, but then I realised that the place was choc-a-bloc with Lycra monkeys in full kit, loads of them. So I sat back and soon enough it arrived. They'd even stencilled a bike on the froth. The only thing about Velo Barn I didn't like was the fact that it wasn't a bike shop. I was expecting to see a load of bikes for sale, tyres, saddles, you name it, but there was nothing, except for a repair shop. Look, don't get me wrong, it's a great place to go on a bike and cake and hot beverages at the halfway point of any ride take preference over bike stuff. I'm not complaining. So I sat there and enjoyed the whole experience and around 1100hrs I got on the bike and rode home, it took one hour exactly, but only around 15 minutes to reach the Botley roundabout. I soared up the Westerham hill, even beating a Lycra monkey. All-in-all a great ride and I'm glad I did it as it boosted my weekly mileage to around 45 miles. Not brilliant, but good enough for the last ride of my week. My phone was out of power again, so the ride was not recorded on Strava, more's the pity, but then I do own an Apple iphone 5S and it needs replacing.

It's raining, Trump's gone to hospital and I need a haircut...

Donald Trump has been moved to a hospital close to the White House after testing positive for COVID-19. It's said to be a precautionary measure and that Mr President is only suffering from mild symptoms, but he's been seen wearing a mask for the first time and perhaps now he's going to take this thing seriously. Some commentators think he's lying. Documentary film maker Michael Moore, who seems to have it in for any US president who isn't a democrat, believes there's a strong chance that Trump is lying in order to delay the election and remain in power. It's possible, but surely even Trump wouldn't tempt fate and pretend he has a killer disease. The First Lady, Melania, isn't in hospital, although she also tested positive. There's a few people wanting Trump to die and we all know who they are. I don't want him dead. I didn't want Boris to die. Just because I disagree with somebody's politics doesn't mean I want them dead. Wanting people dead seems to be something 'of the left', but not me. Trump is an arse, of course he is, but that doesn't mean I want him dead. The world needs arseholes solely for the purpose of comparison and to know who isn't an arsehole.

We brave much worse than rainwater...

I'm listening to Blues for Allah by the Grateful Dead, in fact I'm going to play it again, it's good background and I like Jerry Garcia, ever since watching that documentary about him, the one produced by Scorsese, is that how you spell his name? I'll check later. The weather's been poor and you might as well know that it's moving towards that time of year when the light has to go in the kitchen in order to make breakfast. In fact, let's face it, that time is now upon us, it's October for heaven's sake and that means looking out the window to see if a puddle is forming on next door's flat-roofed extension. Yesterday it rained all day and I didn't manage a ride. I'm now thinking about braving the rain just to be out there. It's only when it's cold that rain is bad news and besides, I have waterproof trousers somewhere. So far this week I've managed 60 miles. Normally, today, I'd be riding to Westerham or Dunton Green to bump up the mileage. Theoretically, I can still do that - and I might - but the general view based on the weather, is that it's going to rain non-stop throughout the day, and for most of next week too if I believe my iphone. 

Setting out our stuff last week at Tatsfield village bus stop. Pic: Andy Smith

Tomorrow we're due to meet in Tatsfield village, me, Andy and possibly even Phil. We need to change venues from churchyard to village purely because the latter offers us cover from inclement weather. All we have to do now is bite the bullet and get out there and forget about the rain, but it's hard when you gaze out from the warmth of the house and note the puddles and the wet grass and the shiny roads and the stair rods. Still, after a summer of ultra-cycling and feeling a lot better for it, there has to be a way of doing this. I'm considering facing the rain today and riding the Norfolk Nobbler, a six-and-a-half-mile ride with a couple of hills thrown in. It won't be pleasant, but it's not impossible.

It's 0714hrs and a light still burns above my head. I need a haircut. My hair is now getting long and straggly and I'm looking a mess. It hasn't been cut since March and while there are situations where I'd consider just leaving it and looking, dare I say, a bit like Jerry Garcia, I'm at a point where I need to freshen up my look. A feel a number three crop coming on! The plan is to have a haircut today in Oxted. There's a guy coming round to check the boiler in the kitchen. It's old, but it's still going strong, although we've been advised to give it plenty of ventilation. In all honesty, we need a brand new kitchen, but it ain't cheap and nor is a new boiler. The kitchen needs to be done fairly soon as we have a situation where draws don't shut properly, hinges are broken and the whole thing is looking really tired. It's like going back in time when you set foot in the kitchen: the brown, oatmeal tiles, the artexed ceiling, the hopsack work surfaces and the disgusting extraction fan over the sticky old gas hob. It's amazing what people are prepared to put up with, but that's the problem, people put up with things until one day it becomes too much and they start saving up for stuff. I remember once, when we lived in a different house, we had a thing called Operation Kitchen underway. It basically involved saving money and that in turn put us into inferior hotels whenever we went away for the weekend, although we probably cut back on stuff like weekends away in the country until the kitchen was fixed.

The curtains have been drawn back and it's looking pretty grey out there. I haven't checked the birdbath yet for rain drops, but I will in a minute or so. Last week I headed for Woodmansterne Green around this time to see Bon, it was a great day, the sun was shining, I was wearing a tee-shirt and I loved every minute of it. Now, the weather conspires against me and because of the virus there's no other form of exercise. The swimming pools are closed or subject to social distancing measures and all that's left is a walk and these days I'm not doing a great deal of walking, unlike in pre-COVID days when I'd be putting in around 10,000 to 15,000 steps per day. Nowadays, my iphone likes to inform me that I'm not walking as much as I did last year. It's right, I'm not, but I'm cycling much, much more. I'm hoping to keep it up, I've just got to get over the rain thing and get out there.

I guess I'd better start my day. Starting my day means having that haircut. This will be great because it means I can go to Oxted, which is around 10 miles away, and check out the bookstore. I'd planned on cycling there, but I'd be soaked through and I don't want to sit there feeling uncomfortable and making small talk with a barber. In fact, now I am starting to think about it, going to the barber's means the hassle of queuing, or rather sitting, waiting for a haircut and flicking through old copies of GQ. Not that I've been to the barber in Oxted before; I'm only going there because it's not Croydon and hopefully I'll be able to socially distance a bit more. Whatever! By the end of the day I won't be able to sit watching TV whilst twirling my long hair with my fingers and I'll be able to see my ears again. The jury's out on whether my long hair suits me or not. My mum says it does. She believes it's far better than the convict cut I normally have. My daughter was hoping I'd keep it going until Christmas and a part of me thinks I should, but it really is getting to the stage now where I look disparagingly at myself when I pass a mirror and think: 'what a mess'. Who knows? There might be a lot of people in there and I won't feel confident about sitting with loads of diseased people. Perhaps I should get the clippers out and do it myself.

My second helping of the Grateful Dead's Blues for Allah album is drawing to a close, it's time to start my day. Hopefully the next post you read will be about me riding to Tatsfield Village to meet Andy and Phil.