To keep dry in the rain, take the car, bus or train ...not the bike!

If you want to stay dry during rainy weather, leave the bike in the garage and use the car, the train or the bus. It's that simple. I don't think I've ever gone out in the rain, wearing supposedly 'waterproof' clothing, and come back dry. I'm talking about the ineffectiveness of cycling-specific 'waterproof' clothing. Somehow, the rain gets in and I get soaked to the bone. I suppose the acid test is whether you can reach your destination dry and not have to change clothes when you get back. Easier said than done, I'd say.

If it's raining, leave the bike in the garage...

I recently bought a traditional cycling cape off Amazon. It looked the business to be fair, transforming yours truly into a kind of high-viz caped crusader, and I was convinced it would do the job, ie, keep me dry. I remember owning a cycling cape years and years and years ago and, I can't remember how, but it somehow clipped to the bike forming a kind of tent over my legs and, by and large, kept me dry. Not this one. Although, when I mounted the bike I felt pretty confident that I would get home dry. As I set off, however, the first problem was safety. I had two choices: Keep my hands under the cape, which would mean a lot of faffing around, first to avoid the cape obstructing the lights, and second, how to grab the material of the cape in such a way as to enable normal operation of the brakes. The second choice was whether to put my arms through two apertures so they were free to hold the handlebars in the normal manner. Eventually, after stopping and starting a fair bit, I opted for the latter.

For a while I was confident that I would remain dry, but this was purely because the rain was almost non-existent. The first thing I noticed was that the cape wasn't going to protect my legs, leading me to the conclusion that a cape alone was not the answer to keeping dry. I would need to be wearing waterproof trousers. Another thing was to factor in the wind. Wind and capes are not good bedfellows. Once the wind gets inside it, well, you're finished basically. The wind blew the cape back at me exposing my legs completely so that when it really did start to rain I was wet through within 10 minutes. Add no front mudguards and the fact that the front wheel was kicking up a lot of water from puddles and, well, I was out of the game before it started.

I rode along the B269 to Botley Hill and then turned right on to The Ridge, heading towards Woldingham. When I reached the Botley Hill Farmhouse pub the proper rain had started and I resigned myself to being wet through from the waist down, and getting wetter as I progressed towards and through Woldingham. On the downward ride along Slines Oak Road I had that sense of resignation that I normally have in the rain when not wearing waterproof clothing. I was wet, basically. I had been defeated. Nothing else mattered. Bring it on. I embraced my wetness in other words. The cape hadn't done it's job and I was, I have to admit, despairing, writing a much more depressing version of this article in my head as I rode along and almost blaming Boris Johnson for my predicament.

Why didn't I think of that? An umbrella!

Well, it wasn't all bad news: my upper body had remained dry and this was when I realised that to keep totally dry I'd need to be wearing those waterproof trousers; but even then, would I really keep dry? No, I wouldn't. I went out in waterproof trousers when it wasn't raining (as an insurance policy in case it did rain) and when I got back I was wet through, with sweat! I had to change my trousers. So, my simple message to readers is this: if it's raining and you're thinking of riding the bike, don't. Not if you want to keep dry. Why? Because wearing 'waterproof' clothing will not keep you dry, you'd be better off either taking the car, the bus or the train. One thing I did think about was wearing day-to-day rainwear, like a trench coat or a hooded parker, the stuff I normally wear when I go out for walk in the rain. Not that I consciously go out for a walk in the rain. Who does? I mean, let's face it, you only go out in the rain if you have to. Fine, you might be caught out in the rain, hence that well-worn mummy phrase, "take your coat, it might rain", but if it's raining BEFORE you got out, what do you do? Ask mum for a lift to the station, or whatever. You certainly wouldn't take a walk for the hell of it.

The cape would be good for walking in the rain, but on a bike, unless accompanied by waterproof trousers, you're on a loser and even with them you'd likely still get back and have to change. Personally, I'd love to know if there is such a thing as truly waterproof cycling wear, somehow I don't think there's any such thing.

Postscript, Saturday 19th December 2020...

I was praying for more rain today as I wanted to test the cape and waterproof trousers combo, but alas, initially just a mild spitting when I set off on the Slines Oak Sloth, a 16-mile ride that, like yesterday, takes me on the 269, along The Ridge and then past the golf course into Woldingham and home via the length of Slines Oak Road. It brings my total mileage this week to just over 50 miles.

There was rain but not as much as yesterday, but guess what? Yes, when I reached home I was soaked through and had to change all my clothes. My trousers (the ones underneath the waterproof trousers) were wet through, even the fleece I was wearing under the cape was wet through, my socks were soaked and my supposedly waterproof Peter Storm walking shoes are also soaked and will take a few days to dry off.

I was kind of hoping that wearing the cape/waterproof trousers combo would improve things, but no, the result and the message of this article remains the same: there is no such thing as waterproof cycling wear, you might escape with being less wet than you might have been had you not been wearing your protective clothing, but you will still be wet and that's in mild rain. Should you experience a major downpour then in my opinion you're better off stripping naked and riding home; that way all you'll need to do when you get home is dry yourself off.

Photos courtesy of Pixabay.

To Sevenoaks and then to Tatsfield Village...

To a certain extent I've lost (or I'm losing) my grip on reality. I'm glad, however, that I'm now off for Christmas, which is good news. I need the rest. It's been busy at work and we've all been working at home for most of the year. While I rather enjoyed the summer lockdown (that word 'lockdown' was meaningless to anybody who owned a bike) I haven't been too happy with the latest bout of restrictions. Why? Because the weather has closed in, cycling is less frequent and when I'm not working, well, what is there to do? I've had a few walks around the block, but I've been unable to motivate myself to ride the bike. This week, I've only cycled 21 miles, although, as I write this, I am considering a ride to somewhere and if I can manage a 20-miler (I can definitely manage it) my total will go over the 40-mile marker, meaning that a ride to Velo Barn tomorrow (Saturday) will mean a weekly total of something like 60+ plus. Not bad considering past weekly totals that have hovered around 35-40 miles.

I know Andy's been getting out there. I've been following his Strava feed. Mainly local rides, which is what I should be forcing myself to do, but as we've both been saying, it's those low-mileage local rides that soon add up. If I could just motivate myself to ride, say, Tuesdays and Thursdays that would be 20 miles (two laps each) and to be honest, it's the two laps that demotivates me. Perhaps I need to work out a local 10-miler that doesn't repeat itself. Repetition = monotony = demotivation = no cycling. I need to get out there and today must be a 20-miler, perhaps a ride to Tatsfield village via Beddlestead Lane and then back via Beech Farm Road and Washpond Lane, that would be good.

Only three miles to Sevenoaks?

My last ride was on Sunday. I rode out later than usual because of the rain and I sat outside the Velo Barn with a cappuccino and a slice of coffee and walnut cake. To be honest, I'm getting fed up with the combination. I might revert to tea and skip the cake because the latter is a bit squidgy, overly moist, perhaps, but not best of breed, put it that way. And I've started wondering whether the cake cancels out the health benefits of the ride. I think we all know it does.

It's 0823hrs, Saturday morning, and I'm sitting at the dining room table, lap top on, listening (for the first time in while) the Today programme on Radio 4, they've just interviewed Larry Lamb about Barbara Windsor, who has died, aged 83, after a long battle with dementia. I interviewed her back in the eighties in a pub in Amersham, a nice woman, but unfortunately I was let down by technology. My tape recorder wouldn't work and I remember driving all the way from Brighton early in the morning, in the rain, and I wasn't feeling too healthy either.

I think if I leave shortly I might be lucky on the ride front. Certainly if I head out within the next 30 minutes. I didn't go out yesterday (Friday) so I need some decent mileage today.

Saturday morning: to Sevenoaks!

Riding to Sevenoaks in Kent wasn't the plan. The plan was to head for Dunton Green and then ride back, but when I reached the road sign just before entering Dunton Green I noted that Sevenoaks was only three miles away. Riverhead was two. So off I went. Initially I was thinking of simply riding to the Velo Barn, but as I said earlier, I'm going off of the coffee and walnut cake and and I can take or leave a cappuccino (what was wrong with me, getting into drinking coffee?). Anyway, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision.

I rode the fast way along the 269 and then took a left on to Pilgrim's Lane. My plan was to have a break at Bojangles in Dunton Green, but it was closed and then, as I say, I pushed on to Sevenoaks. There were plenty of other cyclists around, mainly Lycra monkeys, but the ride was good. Parts of Sundridge Lane were flooded, puddles stretched across the width of the road, but conditions generally were good. I didn't hang around either: I didn't have any tea with me and because I didn't have a mask I couldn't really stop anywhere, which was mildly annoying as I spotted Malabar, a coffee shop in Riverhead, but even with a mask I was in two minds as I was a good 90 minutes away from home.

I was on the bike for three hours and when I reached home it was gone 1130. The weather was drizzly and by the time I reached home I was damp, that's probably the best way to describe the state of my clothing. Damp right through to the cycling shorts. After a cup of tea I fixed up a Samsung HD television in one of the upstairs bedrooms and then messed around changing passwords on things because we had upgraded the WiFi. Annoyingly, for some reason, I've lost all the apps (Netflix etc) on the television downstairs and the Sonos has gone too. Other than that all is fine [later I managed to fix both].

Tatsfield village to meet Andy...

It's Sunday morning now and in 10 minutes I'll be out on the bike again. During the week new lights arrived and they're pretty powerful.

I fixed my new front light to the bike and headed for Tatsfield on a grey morning that constantly threatened rain. When I reached the village, Andy was there and we sat and chatted about bikes. Should I have abandoned the Kona Scrap? No, of course not, it was fine, although the Specialized Rockhopper is far more suitable for our rides with its 27 gears (as opposed to 16) but then, let's face it, for 10 years I rode the Kona and while it was always in a state of disrepair (there was always a faulty brake or a dodgy gear) I rode everywhere on it and it's still in the garage now with two flat tyres. It needs a service and possibly a new bottom bracket, who knows? I'm planning on getting it serviced soon.

Andy's Kona Blast, Tatsfield, Sunday 13 Dec*

The ride back from Tatsfield was wet. It started raining as soon as we mounted our bikes for the return journey and intensified as the ride progressed. By the time we parted company at the top of Slines Oak Road in Woldingham it was chucking it down. The thing about rain is this: if you're caught out in it you simply get on with the task of getting to your destination. If it's raining before you leave the house, the chances are you'll abort the ride. Listen, while I think the best thing to do is to get on out there, I too (more often than not) can't resist an abort text at the slightest sign of rain. Because, let's face it, riding in the rain is no fun, but I suppose the thing is to judge it correctly. A fine, light rain is probably alright, but it's the slightly heavier and more consistent downpour that makes a ride not worth the bother.

And talking of wet weather, I found a traditional cycling cape online the other day, and I'm seriously thinking about buying it**: it's high viz, has a hood and apertures through which you put your hands and I reckon it'll keep me 100% dry. Basically, it's a tent that you wear.

* Photo: Andy Smith

** I've bought it!