Just one ride this weekend...

Oxted on Saturday morning...

The day started with rain and I just knew I'd have to abort the ride. It was to be one of those days. The worst part of it was a little later - and by that I mean around 0900 - when the sun came out, but the momentum had already been lost. I don't know, sometimes it happens, the desire leaves me and I find myself envisioning being out there and I feel odd about it. I just don't want to go, the motivation leaves the building but it takes me a long time to realise it. I swan around, I fret, I look outside, I wonder, I sit and I think, I hesitate, but deep down I know darn well that I ain't going nowhere. Eventually I accept it and accept it I did, and then things were better, things levelled out inside my head, but I wasn't relaxed, not until later, on a drive to Sutton to see mum, but first we had to find something for her 93rd birthday, which is on Wednesday 23 November. The darkening skies and the fading light as we walked along Westmead Road was evocative of something, probably my earlier life at home. There was something very 'Saturday afternoon in the 70s' about it, soap opera teens on street corners, winter clothes on, front rooms illuminated but curtains not drawn, and then the shops advertising Christmas, festive music playing and gullible consumers buying into it all. I found it slightly annoying if I'm truthful, the gullibility mainly, the fact that the capitalists put on the music and we dance to their tune, and the goods aren't that good either. Women are still wearing Ugg boots, more's the pity. I spotted a few as I wandered the high street, popping into various shops and not wanting to be a part of the con, because that's what it is. The con depressed me as I considered the so-called cost of living crisis. I never seem to have any money around Christmas time, but I reckon this year will be the worse... or perhaps not. It's hard to tell to be honest. We reached mum's after dark, around 1642hrs. Tea and KitKats followed, mum had the heating on, and her coal-effect gas fire was in full swing. We sipped tea and munched the KitKats, mum keeps them in the fridge so there's no mess. We sat and we chatted. The house looked cosy. It always does. Christmas lights have yet to arrive, but it always looks like Christmas at mum's. I considered another KitKat, but that was all I did, consider another KitKat. There's more rain on the agenda. Only Tuesday is rain-free, according to my iphone, but who the fuck am I kidding? It's dark by 4pm, I won't be riding the bike, probably not until next weekend, but it looks like it'll be raining next weekend too. I really need to look at another form of exercise. Swimming, perhaps. I used to swim a lot, three times a week: two half-milers and then one mile. The only problem with swimming is the boredom. Counting lengths. Not a good idea if you're prone to miscounting. The World Cup is on. Qatar. Nobody likes the place with it's poor human rights record. Comedian Joe Lycett protested against Beckham's greed by shredding £10,000 of his own money*. Fair enough, I thought, as I considered Beckham pocketing £10 million for being an ambassador for the Qatar World Cup. Personally, I can't get enthusiastic about the footy, not in the winter. The great thing about the World Cup is the summer... but not this year. It's now Monday night. I should be in bed because I had a late one yesterday. I watch I'm A Celeb and then the news and soon it's 2300hrs. Put all this together and it's not good: less exercise, later nights, it's not good and it has to change and the key is motivation, which I'm currently lacking.

* Lycett didn't shred the money, he donated it to charity and instead shredded a copy of Attitude magazine in which there was an article on David Beckham. 

To Oxted...and no rain!

It's been raining a lot and when it's raining on the streets, it's raining in my soul too. I don't like it and over the past few weeks, as I've said in a previous post, it's pissing me off. I'm not too bothered with 'winter' as such, although it always means less cycling or having to 'wrap up' whenever I fancy a ride. I suppose the only real upside is arriving in the Caffe Nero (or wherever) after a cold ride and then settling down, preferably on the leather sofa near the window, to chill out a little before the cold ride home. But give me the heat any day, give me the sun and the smell of the hedgerows rather than the wind and the rain. In short, I hate it. 

Last week I went out on Saturday (this time last week) and yes, as always, I rode to Oxted and sat in a Caffe Nero with an English Breakfast tea reading my book, The Bear Comes Home. I'm taking my time reading this not because it's boring but because, for some reason, I can't apply myself to reading. It's a phase I go through, but I like to keep a book on the go at all times. So I'm reading but not a great deal. I'd like to force myself to read more frequently than I am at present and I do try to sneak in reading at lunch times when I'm not with anybody else and I suppose you might say 'read on the train home' and I'd say 'well, I do, but the journey is so short and involves a change of trains that I don't particularly want to get settled only to find I've got to 'down tools' and change platforms. Home is a good place to read but there are distractions, plenty of them, like the television and the fact that 'the conservatory' (I've said before that it's not a conservatory and never has been, it's a brick-built extension that I suppose should be referred to as the rather middle class 'garden room', but basically it's an extension and it was there when we arrived here many moons ago. The trouble is it's a kind of unwilling store room. At this present time, for example, there are two computer screens on the desk, a lot of wires and crap and it's like sitting in a store cupboard. There's also a clothes horse in there and often (very often) there are clothes draped over it, not to mention socks lined up on the radiator and this means there's also a damp atmosphere in there, combined with the smell of fabric conditioner. The wicker garden sofa (it's a two-seater) is uncomfortable in the extreme and the whole room needs to be decluttered so, as you can imagine, it's not a great place to sit and read.

I'm not the sort of person who can sit in bed reading, that's far to 'sitcom' for me, and I probably wouldn't get much reading done. For a start I'd have to come up early and then expect to be interrupted or told to switch the light off, so that's out of the question, leaving me with no option other than to find a coffee shop, in my opinion the best place to do most things (well, reading and writing). That's why I like my rides to Oxted. Sometimes I don't read when I get there. Sometimes I meet people, like the Illustrious Illustrator or my pal Garth and instead we chat about this and that for about 30 minutes before I head home up the hill and along the 269 praying that it won't rain.

During the week I took a walk to Halfords just outside of town and looked at loads of stuff: lights, water bottle holders, bikes and, of course, high-visibility waterproofs for the colder weather. I also found out that a gear service (which my bike needs more than an overall service) can be done for £20. Although I'm slightly suspicious as they're likely to say something like 'we've changed the block, we've done this, we've done that and that'll be £200 please, sir'. Well, no it won't be, so I'll have to ask about that little loophole before I hand over the bike and I'm only going to hand over the bike if I ride down there, although there's a branch close to where I live. But right now I can cope with the gear problem and, as Andy said recently, my changing up and down problems are more than likely exacerbated by the bike being dirty and in need of a clean. Talking of which, I've promised myself a jet clean at the Esso garage on the way home. When I say 'myself' I mean the bike, but it's whether the cleaning bay is free and whether I have time and whether I have the inclination. I probably won't have any if the truth be known.

This might sound odd, but at this moment in time I simply exist. I know we all do, but what I mean is I ride the bike, I put it back in the garage, I ride the bike, I put it back in the garage, and I don't think anything of it, I don't clean it, oil it, nothing, I just ride it until something happens that stops me riding it, then I get it serviced and then I ride it again. It's like this in all aspects of my life, I trudge on, I keep going, I clean my teeth, I get dressed, I get undressed, I sleep, I wake up, I watch television, it's a constant process through time, I eat, I sleep, I walk, I ride the bike, I just do stuff but there's no pit stop, no holiday, no break, no nothing, I just am and somehow I need to change this scenario. Perhaps forcing myself to read more would be a start, that's a kind of pit stop.

Around 0800 I set out for Westerham. Rain didn't appear to be on the horizon but it was colder than normal. I was wearing a fleece and jeans over my cycling shorts and headed the normal way through Warlingham out into the sticks on the 269 and then down Titsey Hill into Oxted. I rode 'no hands' along Granville as there's nothing, no cars, so it's safe to do so, and then placed my hands firmly on the handlebars to make the left turn past the library and then the right turn to ride up the high street towards my final stop, Caffe Nero. I ordered an English Breakfast tea and then took a seat and read my book for around half an hour. The place was crowded and noisy today but I shut myself off from the world until it was time to consider heading home (never a good moment as I know I've got Titsey Hill to climb). But all was fine. I rode down the High Street, along Granville and then followed the road towards the hill, which is never THAT bad. There was no mist at all when I reached Botley Hill so I sailed down the 269 towards Warlingham where the traffic picked up a little bit. I managed to pass a lot of stationary cars and soon found myself in Sanderstead, cruising down Church Way towards home. It had been a good ride and a dry one so here's hoping tomorrow will be just a good.

I tell you what never fails to get on my nerves and that's the patronising television ads that start appearing courtesy of the big retailers. Yes, it's the Christmas ads, designed to pull at people's emotions with the sole aim of getting them to 'buy stuff' and keep them in profit during these difficult times. What they fail to recognise is that we don't have any money, they simply ignore the cost of living crisis and pretend that nothing extraordinary is happening and they hope we're all going to buy their crap so that their profits maintain a level keel. And every year and I find myself thinking (actually, hoping) that people will see sense and not fall for it. There's nothing worse than these patronising advertisements featuring silly little bears in festive jumpers (Lidl), ridiculous scenarios depicting hordes of people running towards one house to have their Christmas lunch (Argos) another one with a little boy's Christmas list that somehow gets blown into the sky never to be seen again (McDonald's) and there are many more; all the rubbishy perfume ads from the likes of Paco Rabane and that stupid stupid ad in which three girls are in a field chanting Daisy Daisy Daisy Daisy. Fuck. Off. Perfume, aftershave, it's all ridiculously expensive, just have a good bath or shower is what I say. Anyway, I find it all annoying.

Equally annoying is that complete and utter wanker Matt Hancock in the jungle on I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here. They had the first of the vote-outs last night and he's still in there, meaning the great British public have taken to him, they like him, they want to keep him in the jungle, he's been forgiven, he might even win. Even Boy George, who I thought was going to give Hancock a piece of his mind has yet to deliver. So there you have it: rising prices and Christmas ads that ignore the situation we all find ourselves in, a dodgy politician earning a six-figure sum to eat kangaroo bollocks and the rest of us seething quietly as the world approaches the year end. Next up is the Christmas songs, which are equally depressing. "And so this is Christmas...and what have you done?" I've done enough thanks for asking, Lennon, and I don't need you to make me feel guilty about anything. Again, all the songs are designed to make us all feel sad and guilty and perhaps in need of what? I know! Some retail therapy! Well, no. Once again, two words: Fuck. Off.

It's now almost a quarter to five in the afternoon (1642hrs) and it's dark outside. I'm alone in the house but the other residents are not far away and I expect them back shortly. I've drawn the curtains so that nobody can peer in to the living room and I'm now going upstairs to take off my cycling shorts, which I've had on all fucking day. Why? Because my trainers in the garage are still wet from the heavy rain of two weeks ago and I've been forced to wear my red leather All Stars. They have long laces and can't be slipped off, they have to be painstakingly undone and that's such a hassle if you've got to put them back on again, so I kept them and my jeans on all day and now that I know I've got nowhere else to go tonight, I've taken them off and can relax, but I need to get upstairs and take the shorts off. Better go.

Pissed off with fucking rain...

I'm fed up with rain. Today (Sunday) I headed off, for the second time, in a downpour. Yesterday I went out, wearing my ridiculous cape, and rode to Oxted. Today, the plan was Westerham to meet Andy and yes, it was raining; except that today it was much heavier than yesterday. Yesterday I managed to reach Oxted without getting too much of a soaking. Today, the driving rain meant that I was soaked through before I reached the top of Church Way, but I persevered. By the time I reached Knights Garden Centre, roughly four miles from home, I was completely drenched. My shoes were soaked and will remain so for the rest of the week. When I put them on this morning they were already wet from yesterday as was the cape, which is totally useless. It's like a tent. You know when you go camping and people tell you not to touch the walls of the tent because they will be wet, well, it's the same with the cape except that the cape does make contact with your body and so you get wet. If I wore the cape on a dry day I'd still get wet. 

I don't like cycling in the rain and this weekend has been the third in a row. By and large, up until now, it's been fine, although on all occasions I've taken a soaking, despite wearing so-called waterproof clothing. Today, however, was the worst ever. The rain was constant, never-ending, and initially when I stopped at Knights Garden Centre to send Andy a text saying I was diverting to Tatsfield Village, that was the plan. But the phone itself was malfunctioning because it was wet weather DESPITE being in a zipped pocket on the front of the cape. My feet were wet through, but the rain wasn't slowing down, there were huge puddles spanning the road. I'd moved on to the off-road track, like I did yesterday on my return from Oxted, risking again the chance of a puncture. I was fully expecting a puncture when I opened up the garage this morning but all was well. So, as I stood on the off-road path a few yards past Knights, I realised that there was no point going any further. Whether I reached Tatsfield or Westerham I would be thoroughly soaked through (I was already) and there was no way that I could possibly get any wetter, but had I continued I would have become more and more uncomfortable and when I reached wherever I was going I would have sat there, soaking wet. This was, I realised, not enjoyable at all and so I decided to return home. Even when I turned the bike around the rain didn't let up, but when I reached Warlingham I thought for a minute that things were slowing down. I stopped and reconsidered my position. Perhaps I should head back to Tatsfield Village, but I was deluded and time was moving on; and then I realised the error of my thinking: I was still soaking wet. The best option was to go home and dry off, which was what I did. In short it was too much. I would have been better off going swimming, I was just as wet.

Bike (and cape) back in the garage...

The cape is useless and dangerous. There are holes through which you can slot your hands, but this is not good as doing so means that you will get wet from the waist down. If you decide to keep your hands underneath the cape you then cover your legs BUT it's dangerous as you then find yourself preoccupied with keeping your legs dry, you don't have full control of the gears or brakes and you're not holding firmly enough to the handlebars because you keep thinking about keeping the cape stretched over your legs.

Today's rain was off the scale. The usual puddles by the gutters had been replaced by torrents of water, raging rapids, there were waves of rainwater crossing the road in front of me on the return ride, which made me realise that turning back wasn't such a bad idea. 

Incidentally, the reason I was on the off-road path once I reached Knights Garden Centre was because I knew that cars would be revelling in giving me an additional soaking, something they were denied. 

Andy made it to Westerham but he said it was grim. Now that's the word to describe it: grim. It was grim, terribly grim, and while a part of me felt a little rough for turning back, I knew I'd made the right decision. It would have been pointless to continue. As I write this, my trainers have been moved to the garage where they can dry off and not stink out the porch where I originally left them. My gloves are weighed down with rainwater and could probably be wringed out, similarly the pink woollen bobble hat I was wearing underneath my helmet.

Yesterday, as I rode in the rain with the cape to Oxted, I spotted a cyclist who seemed to be wearing the right stuff. It looked as if he was wearing a wet suit (not a bad idea) but of course he wasn't; he was wearing a waterproof cycling top and matching leggings and he looked as if the rain didn't matter, probably because it didn't. He wasn't billowing around like an idiot with what amounted to a huge high-visibility sail that flapped around and even collected water. 

Wet trainers...very wet trainers

There's riding in the rain and there's riding in the rain. Both are unpleasant and today was the final straw for me after three consecutive weeks of it. The only good thing about this week is that I managed three rides.

Later...

By 1515hrs the sun was out and there was no rain. While I had no intention of going out on the bike, the thought did cross my mind. I imagined myself cycling off in the sunshine and heading for Westerham's Costa Coffee. I might even have packed a book to read for when I got there. These were the thoughts going around in my head and I even started to wonder what would have happened. Would I have got there without any rain? Would it have rained as I sat in the Costa reading? Would I have been soaked? Well, my questions were answered. I would have been soaked. I reckon I might well have reached Westerham, I would have been sitting there reading and sipping English Breakfast tea as the light faded and the streelights came on and then I might have looked up and noticed the rain hammering down outside. I would have thought, 'I'll leave it a while and see what happens' but ultimately I would have to go out in the rain, don the cape and ride off; and imagine how I would have felt! Conned! I thought I could just get up and go and escape the rain but hey! I was caught out again. But! Great news! I didn't go out, I stayed in. I wasn't conned. I'm dry!

A break in the weather means a ride to Redhill...

It's Friday 4th November. It's 1130hrs and the sun is shining, the skies are kind of blue. But it's not warm, not like it used to be when I last rode to Redhill. Warm, no. Cold? Not really. Put it this way I didn't wear gloves or the bobble hat under the helmet but I did have a pair of jeans on over the Lycra shorts. I was planning on a visit to the Pop Inn cafe and my ETA was something like 1245hrs or thereabouts. As it turned out I was spot on. I followed the route I'd been taking throughout the summer: down Tithepit Shaw Lane, up Whyteleafe Hill, along Stansted Road, right on to Springbottom Lane, left at the end of it, over the motorway, Warwick Wold Road, Merstham and then into Redhill. It felt sluggish because I hadn't done it for a while, but I hadn't really lost much in terms of time. It was still roughly one hour and 10 minutes there and back.

Lunch at the Pop Inn...

My pal Garth joined me for a cup of tea and and we both ordered a sausage and egg bap, each paying a reasonable £5 - all week I'd been making my own sandwiches so I felt I earned a caff lunch. We sat and chatted about this and that and then walked in to town, me accompanied by the bike, which I had padlocked outside the Pop Inn. Once Garth and I had parted I walked to the park and then jumped on the bike and headed for home. I knew that in front of me there was White Hill Lane to conquer. In the summer I was fit enough to tackle the hill without much effort, although I would be the first person to say that however fit you are, White Hill Lane is always a struggle of sorts. Today was no exception, although, in all honesty, it was easier in the colder weather and I didn't feel any of the pain I had felt in the summer when I quickly broke into a sweat as I ascended the hill. Today was different, in fact I won't lie, it was fairly easy, although perhaps that's a lot to do with climbing Titsey Hill every weekend, I don't know. Tithepit Shaw Lane was easier too and soon I'd finished the ride and when I reached home there was nobody around so I chilled, watched Louis Theroux's interview with Dame Judi Dench. Is it Judi or Judy? Hold on while I find out. It's the former. The light faded and soon the house was in darkness. I switched on a small light not wanting to use up unnecessary energy and after a bit of faffing around on the computer I was no longer alone. I feel good having cycled around 24 miles. It means that if I go tomorrow I would have completed three rides this week so here's to riding to Oxted in the morning.

About to turn left and tackle White Hill Lane...

I said at the start of this post that it was 1130hrs, but that's wrong. It was 1130hrs when I was about to set off on the ride to Redhill. When I started writing this post it was around 1930hrs, or around that time. Right now it's 2007hrs and I'm back to chilling out. After a good ride I always feel chilled out. I can sit on the sofa and enjoy feeling restful rather than restless. So here's to tomorrow and that all-important third ride.

At the top of White Hill Lane...

While on the ride today I felt good. The fresh air, the breeze, the motion of the bike. All the hills were manageable, all the straights were straightforward, there wasn't much in the way of traffic. When I left the house there wasn't that much on the road and when I returned early afternoon things were relatively sleepy. I had a strong feeling of accomplishment as I rolled up on the front drive and checked out my Strava. I opened the garage, wheeled the bike in and then closed and locked it. Job done, I thought. Job done!!!

Last Sunday's ride to Westerham in Kent...

For the past two Sundays now I've bitten the bullet and taken a ride in the rain, but not just to shops and back, oh no: a 22-mile ride to and from Westerham in Kent. The first time, the Sunday before last, it was the result of knowing I had to sort out the sealant around the bath, a job I not only dislike but one I'm not particularly good at; and it was the latter point that drove me out in the pouring rain, the knowledge that I was taking on something I wasn't particularly good at made me throw caution to the wind and get out there to get one last bit of enjoyment before plunging myself headfirst into despondency, one last ride before the boredom of DIY. 

Last week, ie the Sunday just past, it was a case of 'if you can do it once, you can do it again' and by that I mean that being out in the rain isn't really that bad, not once you get used to it and accept that you're going to get wet and that's the end of it. I had the cape, the bright yellow and grey cape and while it did keep me dry, to a degree, I did get wet. I remember reaching home and taking off the cape only to discover that my fleece underneath it was damp, alright, wet, but that might have been the sweat created by the cape. The long and the short it is simple: whatever you wear you're going to get wet so get over it, which I did.

Cappuccino and an almond croissant in the rain

Last week, as I rode down to Westerham to meet Andy (if you remember, we didn't meet the week before because we got our wires crossed); initially we talked about Westerham, then I threw in Tatsfield Village and the end result was Andy went to Tatsfield and I went to Westerham. But anyway, as I was saying, I rode along in the rain, riding through puddles and, as I approached the northern Kent market town I started to wonder - or perhaps that's not the word - I started to imagine Andy not sitting inside Costa out of the rain, but sitting outside and I began to think: 'no, he wouldn't do that, why would he do that?' I couldn't get the thought out of my mind, mainly because I didn't fancy sitting outside in the pouring rain. Much to my amazement, when I reached my destination, there he was sitting outside in the rain, admittedly under a canopy, but right on the edge of it - he was sitting outside! And what's more, he didn't look too happy. Later, after ordering a cappuccino and an almond croissant, which set me back around £4 (Costa is far cheaper) I asked him why the long face? The answer was simple and totally understandable, it was the poor weather and also perhaps he was looking into the future and wondering what he would do when he retired or whether there was something else he could do with his life now. I understood what he was saying as it's something I'm always doing: wondering what if, what else I could do and then the chilling realisation that there was nothing (short of selling up and living in a cottage by the sea on the Isle of Harris). We sat under the canopy. I'd taken off my cape and was watching the rain and talking about futures and what ifs and this and that and it is a sobering conversation that lingers and gets me thinking. But I think something I don't take into consideration (and I'm sure Andy's the same) is that what we have is alright, at least we're both working in fairly steady jobs, we can afford to get our bikes fixed and sit in a cafe, in the rain, on a Sunday morning and what we're really dealing with here is what Ian Brown refers to in a song as 'first world problems'. He's right, that's what we have here, first world problems, we don't have to worry about Russian bombs or the Iranian Morality Police or famine, all we have to worry about is getting back home on our bikes in the rain.

When it was time to go I lingered, saying goodbye to Andy and adding that I'd see him next week, ie this coming Sunday and let's hope it doesn't rain this week.

I rode back via the Velobarn and along Pilgrims and then, while I considered Titsey Hill, the idea of doing it in the driving rain put me off so I hung a left up Rectory Lane and followed the more conventional route back from Westerham along Clarks Lane and then down the 269, all of which was fine.

Today is Friday 4th November, the 49th anniversary of the Battle of Kiln Castle, the big battle in my childhood home's back garden in 1974 when my brother and I decided to stop playing with our toy soldiers. Almost 50 years ago, can you believe that? I can't. Anyway, that's another story for another day, although I think I've written about it on this blog somewhere. In fact, click on the link to read more about the Battle of Kiln Castle 1974.

Saturday's ride to Oxted, Surrey...

 Late October, the trees thinning on top but still full of green leaves. There's a smoky sky overhead but the blue is there, veiled by light and wispy cloud.

Outside there are people, some sitting and chatting, others waiting for buses or making their way to the gym or walking dogs. Stores are opening up and many are already open, and inside the coffee shop, music plays.

Soon departing Oxted and heading home.

It's time to get back on the road and head home. After around half an hour - make it 20 minutes (or at most 25) - I have to contemplate the return trip and the big hill (Titsey Hill) that awaits me about two miles up the road. There's no point delaying it any more, it's just got to be done, it's one of the great things about cycling - have to ride back too.

I unpadlocked the bike then headed down the high street and out of town along Granville Road, turning right and then left and cycling along the winding road towards the hill. The weather was wonderful, not at all cold and no sign of rain as I changed down to the low gears for the uphill jaunt. A group of cyclists overtook me and then turned right on to Pilgrims Lane, one of them wishing me good luck as I began my ascent of Titsey Hill. Then I passed some walkers who commented that I would beat them to the top of the hill. I remarked that it's a tough hill, but not as tough as you might think it is, meaning that it levels out, which it does, shortly after passing White Lane.

It's not long before a road sign appears at the top of the hill and I know that the ordeal is over. I ride towards Botley Hill and then straight down the 269 in the higher gears and soon I find myself in Warlingham. I keep away from parked cars because I know that somebody could open their car door and send me flying and I don't want that. Oddly, as I near Warlingham Green somebody does open his door without looking and it's just lucky that I was in the middle of the road. Having left Oxted around 1006hrs, probably a little later, I reached home around 1110hrs and chilled with a green tea. Ride one of two completed, but I still need to address how I'm going to up my riding from just two rides to four. I'm thinking the only real options are either to simply bite the bullet, have the rucksack prepared and the lights charged and just get up and go OR I sign up for the gym and ride the stationary bike three times per week. Once again I was scuppered last week. The plan was to be three rides (Friday, Saturday and Sunday) but as always happens I get bogged down with crap and end up not going, that's what happened Friday. Today (Saturday) was fine and tomorrow (Sunday) will also be fine. Last week I remember heading out with my cape on, knowingly riding into a storm, but I just had to get out there. Next week I need to ride two mid-weekers, one can be Thursday, the other would have to be Tuesday or Wednesday UNLESS I force myself to ignore everyone and just go on Friday, my day off. So, Thursday and then Friday, then Saturday and Sunday (four rides). The only other alternative plan is to ride the Norfolk Nobbler three times a week (roughly a 35-minute ride) which is easy enough and a good mix of hills and downhills. The last trudge up West Hill is always a killer but rain or shine it'll be over in 35 minutes. Perhaps a mix of the two. If I can get up and ride to work, that's the best option, but with the clocks going back, it'll mean night riding for sure so I'll need to get my lights ready. I really can't stand USB-chargeable lights as, for some reason, they never work, and by that I mean everything I've got that is USB-chargeable never charges fully or goes off suddenly and unexpectedly leaving me thinking, 'but I charged that overnight, what the fuck's wrong with it?' I had one of those video doorbells and despite me charging it overnight it NEVER, EVER was fully charged and sometimes was hardly charged at all. That's gone now. All I want is something powered by proper batteries.

The key thing with all of this is motivation. It's drumming up enough enthusiasm to get out there and ride to work. The cape helps, but there's something annoying it: if I wear it, it conceals the rear light and there's no way around that. I could, of course, buy one of those high-viz waterproof cycling tops, that's the best bet. Let's see what transpires. If it all turns to shit, it'll have to be the gym and the stationary bike.

Oxted, Westerham, rain, a great movie, a DIY chore...

I hope to ride this morning. It's currently 0648hrs and while I'm guessing, I'd say it's still pretty dark outside. Well, perhaps not dark in the true sense of the word, but certainly I'd question whether lights were needed. The riding to work has stopped, but I know there are train strikes coming up and I might make the exception for those days, although I'll need to have lights sorted out. Next week, I think, the clocks go back and that's a terrible moment for me as I hate the winter months with a vengeance as dark nights (what nights aren't dark?) mean it's more dangerous to ride a bike. As I mentioned in my last post, the gym beckons. I'm planning on riding a stationary bike during the dark months and then resuming riding to work twice a week once the clocks go forward in March, we'll see how things go.

So here we are, 22 October 2022 and I'm nearly five years into my abstinence from boozing (I gave up on 28 October 2017). I'm absolutely fine with it; I've never ever felt the need for a drink and generally speaking I feel better in myself for not drinking. I plan to keep going even if not drinking means I lose friends. It's true. Some people only want you around if you're drinking, either because they like it when you mess up, make a fool of yourself or worse OR they just want a drinking partner. I've suggested meeting friends (or a friend) in a coffee shop and they refused, stating in not so many words that it was the pub or nothing: 'you can have a lemonade if you want'. So we didn't meet and probably never will. People don't like it when they discover I've given up the booze, they see it as some kind of affront towards them and their way of life, perhaps they think I'm judging them (I'm not) but either way not drinking puts certain types of people on a back foot, they think I'm a threat, perhaps that's it. Anyway, I don't care. I prefer not to drink, I prefer not to have a hangover or make a fool of myself or end up in a police cell.

Red sky on Saturday morning...

I'm hoping it won't rain. Today is Saturday 22nd October and it's my ride to Oxted. I'm planning on taking a book with me so I can read for half an hour, hopefully on the leather sofa in Caffe Nero, and then I'll ride home again.

I still haven't cleaned my chain. I keep meaning to but I never get round to it; perhaps later today.

In an ideal world I'd ride four times a week. Currently I'm back on twice a week, but even one extra ride would help things along, although I need to sort out my lights for sure. In a nutshell I need to get my act together.

Arundel Castle

Yesterday (Friday) I took the day off and we went to Arundel Castle. Unbelievably, I've never been before. It cost £50 to get in (two tickets) but it was well worth the effort. Normally I'm pretty cynical about walking around stately homes and listening to the guides, but this was something else. For a start it wasn't a stately home, it was a castle, and the guides were personable people and it was a pleasure to listen to what they had to say. We started the tour in the restaurant: Cornish pasty and a pot of tea set me up nicely and soon I was on my way to the Keep, which offered great views across Arundel to the sea at nearby Littlehampton. Arundel Castle is owned by the Duke of Norfolk, he's in charge of organising the King's coronation, which I'm told will be a dumbed down affair due to the rising cost of living. I guess old Charles doesn't want to feel guilty about everybody visiting food banks and being on the breadline and who can blame him for that? Personally, if I was him, I'd do it in the pub, perhaps a Chef & Brewer, complete with a few mini Melton Mowbray pies and some chicken legs. Forget the horse-drawn carriages and the limos, just get Station Cars in Purley to take him and the Queen Consort back to wherever they live and why bother televising it. Well, I suppose you could televise it, but just use iphones, no need for expensive equipment. Get the local rag to cover it and Bob's your uncle. But I digress. Arundel Castle was fantastic and it's good to hear that the old Duke still lives there and that the amazing bedrooms we passed by on the tour are still used by guests of the Duke today. How amazing is that. It really is an impressive place and while I was a little scathing about it due to the price of admission, I would actually say that it was good value for money even if I did 'tweet' to the contrary yesterday. I love Arundel, it's a nice place and it's close to the sea, which is good.

Riding to Oxted

It's now 0710hrs and I'm thinking of leaving early, departing at 0730hrs, that would mean I reach my destination at around 0830hrs, I stick around for 30 minutes reading and then I head home. I should get back around 1000hrs.

Well, I got back at 1010hrs and it was a great ride. I followed the 269 to Botley Hill and then rode down Titsey Hill into Oxted. I parked up opposite the charity shop, padlocked the bike and was early enough to get the leather sofa by the window where I sat with an English Breakfast tea reading until it was time to head home but this time riding up Titsey Hill. I do it every week and it's a doddle, and what's more the weather was fine.

Sunday I watched the rain...

To Westerham in the rain

Now it is 0738 on Sunday morning and just a second ago I heard an enormous clap of thunder. Rain is hammering down outside and I've just sent Andy an abort text. We'll look again around 0900. Who knows? We might get a ride in... but we might not. But suddenly I felt as if I had to go, weather be damned, but it had stopped. The rain had stopped and when I looked out the skies were clearing. And then I guess they clouded over again but it didn't stop me wanting to get out there. I found an old hi-viz cape in the garage. I figured it would keep me dry even if I had issues with it a couple summers ago. I don't know, I can't remember, but I felt it was ineffective. The thing is it was hi-viz and that's what I needed with all the cloud floating around. I didn't have any lights, I simply wasn't prepared for dark skies during the daylight hours, so I donned the cape, looking like some kind of dumb superhero. I was wearing cycling shorts underneath, which didn't seem right for some reason, but that's the way it was as I rode along Ellenbridge, up Elmfield, left on Morley and up Church Way. Then I rode along the Limpsfield Road and I won't say it wasn't raining, it was and it kind of rained throughout the ride.

Tatsfield village or Westerham?

The plan was to meet Andy in Westerham. Tatsfield village had been discussed (all via text) and then I changed my mind and said let's meet in Westerham. I rode the usual way: along Clarks Lane and down the hill, the roads wet and shiny and small rivers following me on the side of the road. It was difficult to avoid puddles as they were everywhere, particularly along the 269, keeping me veering into the centre of the road, not a good policy on the 269. I mentioned Tatsfield because I thought it would be less of a journey in the rain, but then, when I changed my mind it was because I wanted the challenge, I wanted the rain if I'm honest, I needed something and I don't know why. Actually, I do know why. The prospect of fixing the sealant around the bath was looming and I know I'm crap at anything DIY so I thought a long and punishing ride in the rain would sort me out. I'm not saying the ride would make me any more keener, any more up for doing the task, but I needed to get out there because I know that when DIY tasks arise there are people assessing my performance, which I know will be crap, and I get on the defensive, I get a little angry, a little tense, it's stress and I hate it because I know what I'm like, I get abusive, there's foul language and I don't mean it, I just get edgy because I hate doing DIY and I hate doing DIY because I know I do it badly, there are always rough edges if you get my drift. So the ride was because of all that. I could have aborted, I could have stayed in the warm, drinking green tea and surfing the internet, but instead I chose to get out there, in the rain, a kind of penance, perhaps that was it, I don't know. But look, it doesn't matter. I got out there, I didn't really care about getting wet, not that I did get a soaking, that cape did it's job. And when I reached Westerham I was elated to discover that I was there first. I thought Andy would be there, not outside the store as he had been these past few months, but inside, in the warm, listening to whatever they were piping through the sound system. But he wasn't there, I'd gotten there first.

Thick fog at Botley Hill so I turned left for Woldingham...

Like ships in the night

I ordered an English breakfast tea in a paper cup and then I ordered a toasted teacake with butter. No jam, no honey. The woman behind the counter said she'd bring it over when it was ready. I took a seat by the window and looked out at my bike that sat outside in the rain getting wetter and wetter as the rain poured down. Where, I wondered, was Andy. I left it a while as anything might have happened. A puncture, a later start than me, I don't know, but in the end of sent him a text stating that I had a good seat, in one of the windows, the small little bays, there were two of them. He texted back saying he was at Tatsfield village, probably in Sheree's Tearoom. He hadn't seen my later texts, the ones that said I'd see him in Westerham and not Tatsfield. We agreed to meet next weekend as there was nothing either of us could do about it. I sat there and finished my tea. I wish I'd packed a book but I hadn't so I resumed staring out of the window at the falling rain, waiting for it to stop so I could ride home. I needed a window, a gap, a space, a pause, a break in the rain and sure enough there was one. I finished my tea, put the cape on and headed out, but the rain started just as soon as I'd riden past the old antique shop on my way out towards the Velobarn. The bike was buffeted by the wind and the rain and cars passing too close as I rode towards Pilgrims Lane and I was relieved, if that's the right word, to turn left and leave behind the main road. Pilgrims Lane was quiet and because of the poor weather I didn't see any other cyclists, they were all at home, in the warm, keeping dry and watching Sunday morning television. I crossed Clarks Lane into the final section of Pilgrims and was facing a dilemma: do I turn right on to Rectory Lane and rejoin Clarks or go straight ahead and take on Titsey in the rain? I opted for the latter and as always I sailed up the hill, and as I got higher and higher there was mist. When I reached Botley Hill it was a real pea souper so I veered left and rode into Woldingham. Everywhere was dark and misty and it didn't brighten up until I was riding down Slines Oak Road and heading towards the last hill of the ride. The rain continued and wasn't going to let up until I reached home, but at least things had brightened up and I no longer needed lights. It was as if I'd been in a dark tunnel most of the ride but suddenly all was well, the need for lights had gone and there wasn't much longer to go before I reached home. Not that I wanted to reach home. Home meant sorting out the bathroom sealant and there would little more than a cup of tea between me and the chore.

Mr Hannigan's Phone

I won't bore you with the chore, but suffice it to say that I did it. I'm not saying I did it particularly well, although the outcome won't be known until the morning when I strip off the masking tape. I'm guessing it won't be brilliant but that's all I can say about it. I feel a bit bad for being such an arsehole, but I'll have to get over it. Right now I'm watching a movie, Mr. Hannigan's Phone, it's an adaptation of a Stephen King short story starring Donald Sutherland. I've got a camomile tea on the go, I'm hoping it'll help me get a good night's sleep. I'd better go, the movie's getting good and I can't think of anything else to say other than I enjoyed the ride. Normally I wouldn't enjoy such a ride, but for some reason I really enjoyed being out there in the weather, in the driving rain, wearing the cape, battling against the elements and trying to take my mind off that awful job, the bathroom sealant, the job which is now done, the job which is not forgotten because it might come back to haunt me, who knows? Tomorrow I'll know whether it's good or a bad job, whether it'll need doing again and whatever else, like my reputation, which is probably in tatters anyway because of my foul language. I just hate being the underdog, the guy that can't do something properly, I don't like being challenged in that way because I reckon there are things we're all good at and things we're not so good at, but I hate having to do the things I'm not so good at because, well, I'm not so good at them. I've lost my train of thought. Mr Harrigan's Phone is a good movie, that's why, so I'll leave it there, say my goodbyes, so to speak. Until next time.

Oxted and Westerham...

Two rides this weekend. Yesterday (Saturday) a 20-mile jaunt to Oxted where I sat in a Caffe Nero drinking green tea and munching on an apricot croissant. Today (Sunday) a ride to Westerham to meet Andy. We sat outside of Costa. Andy had finished his coffee when I arrived. I ordered an English Breakfast tea. My wheel came off. The last time this happened was in the summer at the bottom of Whyteleafe Hill. Andy says it might be something to do with the nut that tightens the wheel. It's only been an issue since I've changed the wheel. I went to Balfe's in Sutton and had a new rear wheel fitted. Since then the wheel has come loose twice, today being the second time. In my entire life, the rear wheel of whatever bike I've owned since the age of 11, has never come loose from the frame. 

Today in Westerham...

Yesterday's ride was pleasant enough. I sat inside the Caffe Nero on the leather sofa by the door, it's a great position. I sat there, people watching mainly, and then went next door (for all of five minutes) to the charity shop. As always there was nothing much there, never is. I rode back up Titsey Hill, which I'm used to now, and then along the 269.

Today I left the house around 0800hrs, virtually on the dot, and rode the usual route to Westerham. That journey was fine also. I'm glad I've managed two rides. The weather is closing in, or it's starting to; and that means just one thing: I need to start thinking about joining a gym and using its stationary bike. It's that or keep a weather eye on (ahem) the weather and motivate myself to get up and leave the house in the dark and ride home in the dark too. Once the clocks go back there will be no alternative. All I need to do is ride twice more during the week, but somehow the cold and the dark will mean I take the train and spend (unwillingly) the £9.40 demanded by Southern Railway. 

A brief mention of last week's ride, which, give or take, was a carbon copy of this week. I decided last week to ride back along Pilgrims Lane and then up Titsey Hill. Remember, I tackle 'the big hill' every Saturday morning when I leave Oxted so I thought I might as well do it on both days. Nothing wrong with a 16% hill on a Saturday and Sunday morning.

I've noticed that as the days get shorter I seem to wake up later. Back in the summer I might be ready to rise around 0500hrs and then leave around 0630hrs, arriving at work around 0740hrs, showering and then starting the day. If I start saying I'll find the motivation, get myself some decent lights and head out in the dark, fine, but I won't. I'll wake later and time will simply run out. So I'm thinking the gym might be the best option: head down there around 1630hrs and set the bike for a one-hour session. I remember doing just that in Stockholm. I'd need to do it two to three times a week and then ride the bike for real at the weekends. Either way I've got to get back into shape. Currently, cakes and cappuccino are coming back and, well, I'm always saying this; ultimately, I've got to get my act together.

Caffe Nero on Saturday

Outside of the riding what else has been going on? Oh, do you know what? I can't be bothered to talk about Liz Truss, I just can't be bothered. She has to go, the Tories have to go and very soon. I'm currently watching Columbo, the second episode in a row. Outside it's getting dark, which ain't bad when you consider that it's 1734hrs. In a couple weeks it'll be dark by now and soon it will be Christmas. 

I went to mum's this afternoon. She keeps falling over in the house and getting bruised in the process. As I was about to leave a male nurse turned up. He checked her over, she was fine, bruised but fine. I worry about her, she's on her own and she seems to have no control over falling over or staying upright. She's fine in herself, she's got all her marbles, but she's forgetful. I tell her something one week, she forgets it by the time I see her the following week. We sat and chatted. I had a cup of tea and a few KitKats, the two-finger bars, so two is the same as having a four-finger bar. That was my excuse. 

I was saying just yesterday that everything seems to have disappeared: friends, family members, family gatherings, they've all gone. It's weird in a way. One minute there were family gatherings, meetings between friends, but now (with a few exceptions) they've all gone. People seem to be getting on with their own lives. The last so-called 'Boxing Day Bash' - the title given to my family's annual Christmas bun fight - was here at my house in December 2019. Since then, of course, there's been the pandemic, that got shot of two Christmas gatherings, and now, with mum soon to be 93, I'm guessing that's the lot. Everyone's doing their own thing. All a bit depressing if you ask me, the ways things change. Once dad died back in May 2011, things changed. Dad drove a lot of the family events and once he passed things quietened down a little, nobody really stepped up to the plate, so to speak. Don't get me wrong, they were never 'noisy' occasions, but the events that existed died off, mum carried on with the Boxing Day event but now it's too much for her, that's why I had the event here at my place in 2019. Whether anybody will do one this year I don't know, but it's unlikely. I guess it's just the way of the world, things change, people change, we all move on.

Westerham last Sunday

The cycling has changed too. No longer the desolate spots in the middle of nowhere, like the Tatsfield Bus Stop, sipping tea from a flask and eating Belvitas. We're no longer slumming it but enjoying the comfort of Costa Coffee on a Sunday. On Saturday I visit Caffe Nero or the new Starbucks further along the high street. We're all fitter, which is good, and long may it continue. I'd better sign off, it looks as if I'll be driving to Wimbledon shortly.

On Pilgrims Lane last weekend and ready to turn right up Titsey Hill

I did drive to Wimbledon but now I'm home having nipped out to M&S at the garage in Gravel Hill. Just eaten pasta, tortelloni with added Parmesan cheese. Very nice. Work tomorrow, but having the Friday off was a good idea as it meant that when I woke up on Saturday thinking it was Sunday I suddenly realised it was Saturday and I still had two days to go before heading to work.

Things are slipping...

Last night a weird dream. Perhaps 'weird' is a bit strong, it wasn't weird. I was in a room with Chris Bryant MP and journalist Matthew Parris. Why, I don't know. Bryant had something of interest to Parris and for some reason I was standing in front of some book shelves looking for book on how to draw, a book that I bought for my daughter many years ago when she was, I don't know, around eight or nine years old. I never found the book and the dream was accompanied by something depressing, I know not what, but I awoke feeling depleted, down, dissatisfied with life. It was a feeling that worsened as I entered the kitchen and discovered there was no bread and that the cake tin (recently full of milk chocolate digestives) was empty. I picked it up and gave it a light shake and there was nothing inside moving around so I knew there was no point in taking it out of the cupboard and opening it. I'm getting bored of Alpen too so instead opted for Shredded Wheat and as there was no bread decided to have three with warm milk and sugar and instead of my normal green tea I chose a mug of PG Tips (decaffeinated) in my huge Sports Direct mug.

Things are slipping and for good reason. The winter approaches. The nights are getting longer, the darkness will soon arrive around 4pm and thoughts of not cycling except at weekends are beginning to enter my mind. Not that I've been cycling midweek of late. For the past two weeks, perhaps longer, maybe three weeks, I haven't been on the bike. My last ride was to the lakes on 18 September with Andy, but I'd already started to flag a little; my two midweek rides to work have slowed to a halt, stopped largely by rain and slightly colder temperatures than the heat of the summer past which saw temperatures soar to over 40 degrees. Long summers, like life, seem never-ending but then suddenly they're gone and there is nothing left but the countdown to Christmas and awful programmes like Strictly Come Dancing and I'm a Celebrity, which are there for one reason: to edge us closer to 'the big day' that massive anti-climax that is Christmas Day.

I wish I could be more consistent. During the summer months I ate mainly salads and drank green tea and cycled regularly, bringing my weight down to around 12 stone. Today, I haven't bothered weighing myself because I know the result will disappoint me and the last thing I want is to be disappointed. I simply need to kickstart things and get moving again. I've started thinking about lights on the bike and cycling home through the sticks in the dark hoping that cars will see me, but most importantly is the need for motivation. I need to have my stuff ready the night before so I can just go, but now, of course, I have to keep an eye on the weather and that awful symbol on the iphone that depicts rain and offers the likelihood in percentage terms. I kind of doesn't matter what the percentage is, as soon as I see the rain symbol I just know that if I ride the bike I'll get drenched and remember this is October not June or July or August. I won't be arriving at work feeling alive and ready for the day, I'll be a damp pile of anger wishing I lived somewhere else in the world, a wish more pressing because of the general state of the country with Liz Truss at the helm.

My diet has slumped of late thanks to two weeks (give or take) in Italy. I thought it would be the much-praised Mediterranean diet on show, but no, it was biscuits and baked goods that stole the show and cappuccino every morning instead of a green tea. In fact it was sweet things throughout the day. If I found myself in a cafe I'd order a cappuccino and a cream-filled croissant or if I was attending some function or other I'd be nibbling on some kind of cake. My problem is I can't stop. Why, for instance, did I have three Shredded Wheat this morning and not just two? The product is packed two to a pack so I had to make the extra effort to open a second one to have three biscuits in my bowl, but I did it nonetheless. A nasty combination of eating more and exercising less is brewing and I need to sort it out sooner rather than later. Admittedly, this week - Wednesday to be precise - I went down with some kind of food poisonings, or something in that ballpark. I won't bore you with the awful details, but it left me weary and I had to take the day off work so I could sleep it off. I didn't feel better until around 2300hrs when I went downstairs for toast and honey, my first meal of the day. At least I knew I had recovered as I sat in front of the television watching Top Gear with Clarkson and Hammond talking about the Lancia.

My plan was to ride to work on Thursday. It was a great day (yesterday) for cycling but because I was so weary after the day before I opted for the train and now it's Friday and I'm not cycling today either. The plan for Saturday is to ride to Oxted for coffee in the morning and I'm hoping for reasonable weather as I simply must kick myself into gear and get back out there; then there's Westerham on Sunday to meet Andy.

Andy has the right idea: he's able to go into the garage and ride on a 'turbo trainer'. I could do that but I'm leaning more towards joining a gym and using the stationary bikes as I could easily fit in two, possibly three, sessions per week and save the real cycling for the weekends. That's the plan.

Heading home...

I awoke around 0600hrs. It was time to head home, but first breakfast. Alright, not a particularly healthy breakfast (cake, croissant, Coco Pops, ham and cheese rolls, a sugary fruit juice and a cappuccino) but I was accustomed to such fayre and was ready to head downstairs at just gone 0700hrs. I had set myself one challenge: to see if it was possible to get into the bathroom without activating the fan. I figured I would need to be on the floor, on my stomach, crawling along the ground like a commando, but it might be possible and, of course, I would need video evidence. I lay on the floor with a view to setting up my iphone video camera. The iphone needed to be placed against the wall and then I would proceed to crawl into the bathroom and hopefully the fan would remain silent. Well, the whole thing was a waste of time from the get go. As soon as I placed my iphone against the wall the fan activated itself, meaning that there's no way I would get in their without being 'noticed'. I gave up, there was no point. Was there ever any point?

Waiting for my cab outside the Villa Dragoni, Buttrio

A few more guests had arrived at the Villa Dragoni as there were now five cars parked outside and I heard people last night walking around on the wooden floors, coming up the stairs, going to their rooms. In fact, this morning I saw somebody leaving their room so I'm guessing it's almost a full house. There might be a function going on. One of the people I met at the conference told me she was married at the Villa Dragoni and perhaps things were being set up for the weekend. Today is Saturday and I should have been cycling to Oxted for a cup of coffee and a chill-out, but I can't because I'm still in Italy and I have a cab, a train, a bus and a plane to catch (and possibly another cab when I get the other end). But first, the cab from the Villa Dragoni to Udine railway station and a train to Venezia (that's Venice). I kept nodding off on the train but eventually alighted at Venezia Mestre just before noon. The area outside of the railway station left a lot to be desired. There were undesirables floating around, put it that way and the back streets were littered with graffiti and Chinese restaurants. I'd say this was the Chinese quarter, but that would far too grand a description.

Breakfast on my last morning...

I had two hours to fill before I needed to be at Marco Polo airport and the only real option was to find a cafe and sit there reading and eating. While it had been suggested that I check out Venice and the canals, once I'm locked in to 'getting home mode' anything else is added hassle; all that would happen is I'd miss my flight. So I pushed my luggage around the mildly dodgy streets around Venezia Mestre railway station looking for somewhere to eat. I settled upon the Bologna Hotel and sat in an empty restaurant until somebody presented me with a menu: spaghetti bolognese and a green salad plus a fizzy mineral water and then, when finished and paid up, I headed towards the bus station where I boarded a bus to the airport. It was a short journey and soon I found myself passing through security and passport control and hanging around awaiting departure. I was flying easyJet to Gatwick (far better than London Heathrow and nearer to home). The flight was good and I managed to finish American Pastoral before we landed. I was in seat 1a, right at the front of the plane and plenty of legroom. Strong headwinds slowed the plane down. The flight time was two hours and when we landed I completely forgot about the train strike. It was Saturday evening. I only remembered the strike when I got to the railway station at Gatwick and found it deserted. Taking a taxi was the only option so I called my cab company and then waited in the Costa on the South Terminal - another excuse to eat rubbish, this time in the shape of a cinnamon brioche roll and a cappuccino. I can't remember what time I reached home, it was probably around 2000hrs. Strictly Come Dancing was on and I couldn't believe that a whole year had passed since the last programme aired. For some reason I'm going off the whole thing, probably because of the BBC and their PC stance. Karen Clifton is dancing with another woman and I don't really understand why or what the Beeb hopes to get out of it, what do they want us all to be thinking? Oooh! The BBC is so right on! Most people don't care, I know I don't. We all know there are homosexuals and lesbians and it doesn't really bother us, live and let live and all that, so why does the BBC feel it has to ram it down our throats? If anything, rather than suggest that all is fine and two women dancing together - or two men - is nothing out of the ordinary, I would wager that it has the opposite effect. People are tired of having their consciences pricked, we know it goes on and we don't give a stuff. Get over it!

Breakfast buffet on my last day

I can't remember what happened after that, I sat around, not really watching the television and eventually, around 2330hrs, I hit the sack. I slept reasonably well and had aborted my planned ride to Westerham to meet Andy, I simply had to take things a little easy. But I'll be back in the saddle soon. In fact I'm planning a ride or two during the week if the rain holds off. I need to get back to some healthy eating. All week I've been stuffing my face with croissants, biscuits, cakes (for breakfast!) and it's not good. Don't get me wrong, I've loved it, but I need to get back to the way things were a few weeks ago: two to three mid-week rides, plus my weekend cycling. I need to get back to Alpen for breakfast and green tea and I might start making myself avocado sandwiches so I don't have to visit the caff. Looking at the photo to the left, however, I must say that I miss those extravagant, sugar-filled breakfasts and I was getting used to drinking cappuccinos instead of tea, but generally speaking I think I need to be indulging in healthy eating again and that's the plan for this week.