Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Flat tyre? It's those pesky thorn bushes...

Thorn bushes that line the A233 outside Westerham and, indeed, all around the area. If you're a cyclist, watch out and be prepared.

When Andy and I first started cycling back in the summer of 2006, we never bothered with back-up; and by back-up I mean a puncture repair kit, a bicycle pump, that sort of thing. We would set off, in a sense, 'naked', a bit like walking a tight rope without a safety net.

The early days involved a lot of trips down to Westerham on the B269, a route we re-traced on October 4th (see blogpost below by scrolling down). The road is fine, but a much safer stretch of off-road pavement is littered with danger of another sort – thorns!

Without any back-up, of course, getting a puncture used to put both Andy and I in a very difficult position: stranded 10 miles from home, we would have to walk home, which would take the best part of three hours, with a bike and an irritating noise caused by the deflated rubber of the tyres. We had a rule in place: if one of us got a puncture, the other would have to walk too and not simply cycle off smugly.

We've had to walk from Botley Hill all the way home as there's no option: buses won't allow bikes on board and there's no station nearby. Getting stranded in Westerham was different as we were three miles from Oxted where there is a train station. There were numerous occasions when Andy and I trudged our way along the A25 into Oxted to wait for a train home.

The big question, of course, was why? Why did we do this when we could simply fix our punctures on the roadside? There was no answer, of course, so we started buying and stashing a brand new inner tube (price roughly £5) in our rucksacks and simply replacing the punctured tube with the new one. Not a problem, although it was always pretty horrible when it was raining or just plain cold.

Inner tubes at a fiver a time was a problem as we found that punctures were quite common on that route. Suddenly one of us would notice that the ride had got a little wobbly and then discover it was a puncture. It was then a case of stopping, taking the wheel off – a real hassle if it was the rear wheel – and then inserting the new inner tube.

Punctures became so frequent that we started keeping score. I seemed to get the most for some reason and took it upon myself to blame the bike: not so much a Kona Scrap, I wrote to the guys at Kona in Canada, but Kona CRAP!!! Of course, it wasn't the bike's fault, it was purely a fact that a thorn, often a very large thorn, had decided to puncture my bike and not Andy's.

But I was getting a reputation as the Puncture King, although was never that far behind. The latest score, I think, is 4-3 to me, meaning I've had four to Andy's three punctures. Andy has Kevlar-reinforced tyres and it has made a difference, we've taken to riding on the road along the B269 to avoid the thorns.

What gets me about all this – and again it's not the bike's fault – is that we now both own top-of-the-range off road bikes but can't risk going off road for fear of getting an inevitable puncture.

We've wised up to the inner tube thing and have started buying Leeches, small, circular black discs that simply stick onto the puncture and mend in seconds. We've become dab hands at it, to be honest, but still have our moments. If I can I'll post some video of Andy fixing a puncture on his old bike (they're on my mobile phone and I don't know how to transfer them to my Mac).

Needless to say, I always have a pack or two of Leeches in my rucksack, and a pump!

Coming out of Westerham on Sunday along the A233 (Beggar's Lane) we both spotted the offending thorn bushes that have caused us so much grief. You can see a photograph of them above. It goes without saying that we kept our distance!

Monday, 5 October 2009

Should have gone in here for a cup of tea!

Andy outside the Tudor Rose Tearooms in Westerham wishing he'd had a decent cup of tea for a change.

We shall never surrender!

Good old Winston Churchill, who lived at Chartwell, just a short drive from where this shot was taken on the green at Westerham.

A dodgy cup of tea at Westerham



Perhaps I need a new flask. Either that or the milk was just off. The first cup was fine, but the second cup was full of tea-coloured bits – not very appetising. Fortunately I spotted it otherwise I would have swallowed a mouth full of, er, bits. Yuk!

Andy's Kona Blast


Andy's new Kona Blast resting against the Warlingham Green war memorial just prior to our cycle to Westerham on Sunday 4 October.

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Sunday 4 October 2009 – to Westerham!

I can't remember when we last rode our bikes to Westerham, but it's got to be a month or two ago. We met at the green at just gone 0730hrs, where I took a few shots of Andy's new Kona Blast (of which, more later). Around 0845hrs we were on our way, up past Warlingham Sainsbury's, past Knight's Garden Centre and into the wilds en route to Botley Hill on the A269, hanging a left at the top of Titsey Hill and virtually freewheeling all the way down the hill to Westerham, past our beloved bus stop.

The tea was disappointing today. Why, I don't know, but I guess it was the milk going off. Anyway, enough of that! Andy wanted to do a bit of off-roading so we headed out of Westerham on the A233 and then hung a left into The Avenue, a nice bit of off-road that bypasses the boredom of the hill out of Westerham if you go back the other way.

It was here that I made a movie – not just any movie, mind, No Visible Lycra – The Movie to be precise. Check it out below!

Saturday, 3 October 2009

Saturday 3 October 2009


I always feel a little ashamed when I wake up on a reasonably good day, the sun's out and there's no sign of rain and I should be jumping up out of bed and racing off into the country – but I decide instead to loll around doing nothing. Admittedly I have an excuse, well, two excuses: one is that my cycling pal Andy isn't going today; and two is that I have to take my daughter to a local school to sit one of those entrance exams.

So, here I am, at 0821hrs, writing this blogpost. Rain permitting, of course, I'll up with the lark tomorrow morning to meet Andy, at Warlingham Green, for a cycle to the bus stop – or possibly out towards Woodmansterne Green, we haven't made up our minds yet.

If I can drum up the enthusiasm, I'll go on a local cycle later.

Sunday, 27 September 2009

Never mind your bollocks, here's the Spongy Wonder!

The Spongy Wonder saddle from Canada is designed to protect your bits from the damage inflicted upon them by conventional saddles. Get one today, you know it makes sense.

If ever you get that numb feeling in your Jacobs, it might be time to consider a different sort of saddle, one that will get you noticed ('That's an unusual saddle!'). It's called the Spongy Wonder and it comes from Canada, like the Konas. In a nutshell, excuse the pun, it protects your family jewels from being damaged. Cycling's good fun, but you don't want to be damaging your nuts, do you.

Both Andy and I have Spongy Wonder saddles. They take about a dozen or so rides to get used to, but I wouldn't go back to a conventional saddle. Furthermore, I reckon I could cycle my bike naked with no adverse effects. Not that I'm going to, but it just goes to show that saddles like the Spongy Wonder make Lycra cycling shorts obselete – but then Andy and I wouldn't know about Lycra, we don't wear it.

For more information on the Spongy Wonder saddle, click here.

Fresh air, lovely views and it keeps you fit!


This photograph was taken on the A2024 after climbing out of Westerham en route to Botley Hill and home. The view is looking out towards Oxted in Surrey. You probably can't see it, but down below is Pilgrim's Lane, an excellent road that runs from the bottom of Titsey Hill all the way over to Sundridge in Kent, a route we take when we're going to Chevening Church, the lake at Chipstead in Kent or Dunton Green.

What is amazing about the Pilgrim's Lane is that, even though you're only a short distance from Croydon, and the M25 is a stone's throw away, you get the feeling that you are in the middle of nowhere. It's a great road for cycling along too, especially in the summer time.

Andy's old bike. He now owns a Kona Blast...

Andy's old bike at Warlingham Green. He is now the proud owner of a Kona Blast.
Andy's old bike did belong to his brother before he went to Australia. He's back now but whether he wants the bike is another question. It's a Peugeot and to be fair, it has served Andy well for the past three years. He now has a Kona Blast but we haven't got round to taking a photograph of it yet. Watch this space. The Blast has a strange hum to it. Andy can't work out where it is coming from, but if he's behind me, I can tell when he's getting closer!